Don Kowalewski
Writer. Ad Sales and Marketing. Social Media Content Creator. Aeropress Coffee. Makes the best salsa in the world.
Things I Do: Coach Soccer
The soccer season is back. Am I talking about Barclay’s Premier League, which started last Saturday morning and brought with it 9 hours of glorious futbol on various NBC channels? Yes. That’s part of it. But the next part is even better …my daughter’s team had their first practice, last night, and I’m an assistant coach.
Some people reluctantly raise a hand to coach when their kids are little, especially when the sport is soccer. Soccer has a bigger following now compared to when I was younger and nobody’s father knew a thing about the sport, but it’s still a sport unknown to most men my age. Men who are fathers themselves. It’s never a problem finding a former basketball, football, or baseball player to coach a youth team. And most of the dads helping out likely played those sports a little bit, themselves. That’s not the case with soccer.
Except with me. I’m that guy. I played two sports as a kid. Basketball and soccer. Genetically, however, I was never destined to be a basketball player. Nowadays, I might have struggled with soccer, too. But in the late 80s and early 90s, soccer was a great sport for a kid standing 5’4″ and weighing in under 150 pounds.
I never thought I’d enjoy anything more than playing soccer, but I think I’ve found it – coaching soccer. Maybe I like coaching, or maybe I’m just really lucky that for the past 5 years I’ve watched little pee-wee girls go from playing soccer because their parents forced them to play something, to seeing this same group thrive, develop a competitive streak, and love soccer. They listen. They improve. They don’t like when they lose. When you’re a coach, regardless of the sport, those are the intangibles that make the long non-paid hours worth it.
It’s one thing to love something, like soccer. But it’s another thing to help other people see what an amazing game it is. Like with parenting …manners and academics are important, and when my kids show me it’s important to them, it warms my heart. And for me, it’s that way with social media, if I can make an aside. So many people tell me social media is a waste of time. I love when I can show them otherwise and if you use it the right way, it can be highly rewarding, engaging, and informative.
That’s how I’ve come to feel about soccer and the kids I coach. If somehow my enthusiasm became contagious, and it’s part of the reason this big group of girls love soccer, too … that’s what it’s all about.
I hope you got a real “kick” out of this blog entry. That was a pun, right? I sometimes write puns on Twitter and you can follow me @donkowalewski.
I know there’s no such things as Daddy or Dad Blogs, but this is what they’d sound like if there were some. And they’d sound like this Huffington Post article from @stevewiens. Hilarious.
Things I Love: My Wife and Her Birthday
Yes, I’m going to do it. I wasn’t going to write a blog entry about my wife, but then I read Jeff Goins‘s blog post Three Ways to Write for Yourself, and I changed my mind.
It’s not like a thousand people read this every day. And even if they did, I would write this anyway.
My wife turned 40 today. I’ve known her for 25 of those years, I’ve been in love with her for 22 of those years, been with her for 21 of those years, and I’ve been married to her for 16 1/2 of those years.
Is it “true love”? It must be. I know for me it is. For so many reasons, I can’t imagine loving her more than I do, and I’ll never figure out why she loves me. She’s amazing. She’s committed and consistent and fair and strong and honest (truly, she never lies, ever) and funny and way smart and works hard and is a great mother and an amazing daughter and though sometimes quick with a temper, who can blame her? I do that to people. Yet, she never waivers. She loves me despite the fact I’m not always consistent or fair or honest or smart and I slip up from time to time.
Because she loves me, even despite six months ago doing the craziest thing I’ve ever done, and because she’s so great, I just have to accept the fact she sees a greatness in me I don’t even see in myself.
And isn’t that the best definition of love? I mean, with her, what I love about her is obvious. I’m not trying to put a spit shine on anything. For me, I always feel like a work in progress, and she’s making sure I get wherever I’m going. She makes me a better person.
I turned forty last month, and now she’s “joined the club” as everyone pointed out on Facebook. For me, it was lonely and gave me a bit of anxiety. Seeing her gracefully and beautifully flow into her fifth decade, totally on top of her game and comfortable in her skin, inspires me.
I wish there was a gift that could capture how happy I hope this birthday is, and how much happier I hope all her next birthdays will be. She’ll have to settle for a rolling cooler and an exercise-activity-sleep monitor as gifts representing my love for her (and 3 losing lottery tickets …dang!).
So, happy birthday to the best gift I was ever given. I hope someday to be your greatest gift.
I’ve never Tweeted about my wife. Not sure why. Seriously. Don’t believe me. Follow me at @donkowalewski.
Things I (Will) Have: Two Resumes
I have this idea that I should have two resumes. One for the life I have and have lived for 20 years, and one for the life I want.
And it’s not as if my better resume has me living the life I imagine Justin Timberlake has. No, my better resume says I’m a sought after speaker, published author, and social media thought leader. I’m not trying to be Tony Robbins, Stephen King, or Seth Godin (trust me, those are leaders in each of the fields I hope to excel in). I’m trying to be me. I’m trying to let my true, joyful self out of his box.
My non-work resume, don’t get me wrong, is pretty awesome. Three kids. Two cars and a house. A great wife of 16 years. I just need to add to it “goes to bed happy” and “wakes up a conqueror.”
Have you looked at your résumé lately? Ready to update it? Better yet, ready to invent a new one?
Ever wonder what I’m doing on some random Saturday morning? @donkowalewki is where you’ll find the answer.
Things I Love: Other Bloggers
The tradition continues. It’s only the second week, but to do something two weeks in a row like I said I was going to do? It feels like a major victory.
My invented tradition is #ShareSunday, or #SS if you’re going to play along. My idea is to highlight some of the best blogs I discovered during the week or to highlight my favorite blogs – blogs I frequent. Last week it was Write Now! Coach, my sister’s MomRunsHalf blog, and Real Life Husband.
This week, I’m going to tell you about the head of the MSU Alumni Association, Seth Godin, and spunkybean.
Scott was introduced to me by a friend, Jeff S., while at work. My friend and I are huge Michigan State Spartan fans and when he learned I love writing and social media he said, “you need to meet my friend Scott,” who just so happened to be the head of the MSUAA. Scott spent years in the private sector and I can only assume he was a beloved boss, valued and respected co-worker, and visionary. His weekly blog is always there and his advice is timeless and perfect regardless of your walk of life. His blog entries have been converted and re-purposed into two books. He’s like a mini-Seth Godin (see next paragraph). Scott reminds me that it’s OK to pursue your passions and dreams. He obviously (a) loves writing, (b) loves the science of motivation and management, (c) loves being a Spartan, and (d) loves sharing the music he loves with anyone who cares to listen (shame on me for not downloading his podcast, yet). Every Sunday night, without fail, he blogs something and it gets my week jump-started.
I’m going to tell you about this guy as I’ve come to know him. Maybe this won’t be his actual story, but I think it’s close. Seth Godin is a major player in advertising, branding, and blogging. He’s written multiple books, all of which are fairly brilliant. The only thing about marketing and branding that never changes is that it’s always changing. Seth saw the change a’ comin’, and he made himself a thought-leader. He did it through this blog. Through consistency. His ideas were so great, people started begging him to teach them. He proves the theory – content is king. Consistency is queen. Do these two things, and you’ll build yourself a kingdom, no matter what you’re doing. In a world where everyone will tell you, “oh, you have to be optimized and you need keywords and embedded links to rank on Google”, Seth proved them all wrong. You need a story. Tell your story, and tell it often, and people will hear it. Heck, look at his blog’s URL …it’s the same blog he started with. His entries aren’t full of hyperlinks and pictures and trackbacks. He just tells us a story about how marketing can work, and you’ll want to read it every day.
His latest book, We Are All Weird, is waiting at the library for me, today, and I’m going to ride my bike up there and grab it this afternoon.
Many of you are probably rolling your eyes, right about now. “Don,” you ask? “Seriously, you’re going to tell us one of your favorite blogs is spunkybean, which is your own blog?” Well, yes, I am. But not for the reasons you think. It’s a success story in spite of me. It’s a success story because of EJ and Myndi, the co-authors who refuse to surrender, no matter what. And that, my friends, is how you succeed as a writer and blogger. spunkybean’s also a success because of Mike W., who taught himself all the back-end stuff (like SEO and meta-data) so EJ and Myndi could focus on writing about things they love …television and TV shows. 
Mark my words …before it’s all said and done, EJ and Myndi are going to be full-time entertainment writers. spunkybean was founded 6 years ago by a friend of mine. He read my blog entries on my personal blog about American Idol. He said, “hey, I’m creating a pop-culture website and you can write your blog entries there.” I said, “yes.” Then I recruited a few other writers, and snagging EJ and Myndi was one of the more (only) brilliant moves I’ve ever made. You can’t have a TV-related blog if you only love one show (which, for me, was American Idol, still is Survivor, and to a lesser extent, The Bachelor and The Bachelorette). EJ and Myndi are perfect examples of people who write about what they love. So what if it’s TV and everything that’s ever existed on TV. They aren’t alone. And with their content, and Mike’s SEO stuff, nearly 10,000 readers stop by every month to hear what EJ has to say about Batman and Venture Brothers, and what Myndi loves about Dancing With the Stars, Big Brother, and anything else awesome on TV.
Why you should read it? Because you’ll see what true passion and love looks like. Read what I said about Seth Godin, again, and you’ll see …a blog can succeed without banner ads and SEO tricks …it just needs content born of passion, enthusiasm, and love.
There you have it. Three blogs that kick some serious butt. Three blogs I read and that make me a better blogger (and, yes, I still blog at spunkybean from time to time).
Thanks for reading. Wanna know how I can say anything in 140-characters or less? Follow me and talk to me on Twitter @donkowalewski.
Things I Have: Bronchiectisis
It flared up again last night, which makes that the third time this summer. Logically, I’ll simply make a note of it, log it in my journal, and rest easy knowing that when I calmed my breathing, sat very still, and relaxed, it passed. I coughed and wheezed for about two hours. Laid on my side, then the other side, then my chest, and slowly started taking bigger and bigger breaths.
Bronchiectisis is, for those reading about it for the first time, a lung disease that most often happens as the result of a lung trauma. For me, that was a really bad bacterial infection and then a burst blood vessel (these things might’ve been related, might not have been, tough to tell). Bronchiectisis is a little different for everyone who has it. Some people cough up phlegm every day …and lots of it. For me, it’s when the air changes or allergens are high. I almost should’ve expected it …the weather got hot and humid, I’ve been doing lots and lots of talking at work (“talking” seems to effect it), and then I went to a Detroit Tigers game and cheered and screamed. All day I go into the A/C and then out into the humidity and heat, and back into the A/C.
The bad news is, it keeps happening. The good news is, it passes.
Now I’ll start to examine what I ate, how much I ate, and see if there was anything, besides the quality of the air I breathe, that might’ve made this happen.
It’s a glorious adventure and scientific study I’m conducting daily on myself.
I know this blog post isn’t exciting to everyone, but I have a few fellow Bronchiectisis friends who read and we bounce ideas off each other. Like so many things in life, it’s more fun and easier to beat something, or accomplish something, when you have support. Simply to get some encouragement from someone goes a looooong way. People join running clubs, because they all benefit by pushing each other. People sign-up for, and pay for, 5K, 10Ks, Marathons, and Triathlons. Why? Because doing something alone isn’t as fun. I mean, I don’t know if you realize this, but you can run a 10K any time you want. For free.
But that’s not what human beings are built for. We train alone, but we celebrate with others.
Am I “celebrating” my bloody lung? Not exactly, but I’m bolstered and encouraged when a few fellow lung warriors come around the blog and say, “me too” and “it’s normal” and “hang in there.”
Who have you encouraged, today?
I don’t Tweet about all my bodily functions, but definitely my lungs. So, if you want to follow along, I’m @donkowalewski.
Things I Think: You’re Not Doing Anything Until You’re Doing Something
If you have a great idea for a book, but haven’t written a book, you don’t have a book.
If you have a great idea for a business, but haven’t outlined a business plan and started checking things off a list, you don’t have a business.
Until you put your foot on the base of Mt. Everest and then start walking upward, you’re not climbing Mt. Everest.
If you really love your wife, and you don’t tell her (and show her) you love her, you don’t love her.
If you really want to lose weight, but are sitting watching TV, you’re fat.
I talked to a guy today who wants to write a book. He really wants to write a book and he’s cobbled together a boat load of his blog entries, Facebook posts, his Tweets, documents, and articles clipped from the paper. He’s been working on this for four years. Someone told someone told someone that I could help him. And I will.
His book and his story is amazing. But more amazing is he wasn’t just sitting there, watching TV, saying to himself, “ooooh, I wish I could write a book.” He was doing something. He could, for the last four years, look people in the eye and say, “I’m writing a book.” Because that’s exactly what he was doing. He didn’t quit his job, rent a cabin in the Colorado mountains, buy himself expensive coffee, and wait for the perfect writing conditions to happen …he just kept doing little things, moving it forward.
Between me and you, he’s got the book pretty much written. It just needs a little spit shining.
His latest “little thing” was to talk with me. He has either (a) the most shocking, crude, and bare bones tell-all book that will trash all the people who’ve done him wrong over these past four years or (b) we’ll write an incredible novel, based on a true story, that will make people shake their head and say, “there is noooooo way that happened.”
I hope I get to write it, either way. Because if I do, I’ll be doing something.
It’s about stories. Tell stories. Help people tell their story. Tell your story.
My more boring stories, like what I saw while sitting at a red light, is updated all the time at @donkowalewski.
Things I Did: Guest Blogged at MomRunsHalf
If you came here looking for something funny, inspiring, or relating to One Direction, you’ll have to check back tomorrow. Tomorrow I’m going to introduce the concept of a “Fight Club Resume.” Oh …make no mistake. You’ll want to check back and see what I mean by that.
For today, however, I’m going to redirect you and ask you to read my sister’s blog, MomRunsHalf, because I wrote a guest post for her (only two weeks too late) and she posted it. I’m flattered.
“Ask yourself, what’s in my way? And then walk around it.” -Me
It’s a tale I’ve told a hundred times, but it bears repeating. I’ve seen the lowest low, and I forget how lucky I am despite a few set-backs. What I try to explain on that blog is that “fear” isn’t really what holds us back, it’s just something we make up as an excuse for not doing something. As I blogged about last week, a dream of “playing point-guard in the NBA” isn’t a real dream for a 40-year-old guy like me who stands all of 5’5″. Sitting around being sad about the fact I’ll never play point-guard in the NBA is just stupid. Because I’m not honestly defining my dream. I need to make my dream a “goal.” It’s not that I actually want to play point-guard in the NBA, but that I love and want to play basketball. Period. I could coach. I could join a rec league. I could go to the open gym by my house every Tuesday or the open gym at my kids’s school and play pick-up basketball.
It bears repeating …are you dreaming too big just so you can convince yourself your dream is impossible?
I want to be best-selling author = I want to write and I have a story to tell.
I want to be a chef at the hottest restaurant in New York = I want to cook.
I could keep listing things. Our “dreams” might or might not come true. But we can achieve all our “goals.” We can “do anything” we want. Play basketball. Write. Cook. Play guitar.
Again, my story is on full display at MomRunsHalf. Please read it and tell me what you think. And check back to my sister’s blog every now and again, because she’s interesting, has recipes and stuff, and auditions all sorts of running and exercise products.
You can always reach me on Twitter, because I love Twitter like a member of my family. I’m @donkowalewski. ‘Follow’ me. I’ll follow you back.
Things I Wonder: What To Do with Endless Possibilities?
We all understand the world is full of endless opportunities, right? Nowadays, there’s hardly an idea too big to dream? I’ve come to grips I’ll never play point-guard in the NBA, mind you, but I’m not willing to concede I can’t be a mini-salsa mogul, that I can’t write a few books (and maybe some will sell), and that I can’t turn my writing “hobby” into an “income.”
Knowing that you can have multiple dreams and projects going simultaneously, and each has no ceiling in sight, what do you do with those endless possibilities?
Think of your life as a to-do list. You and I make “to-do lists” at work, yes? We make them for projects we need to get done around the house, right? Or we make a packing list before going somewhere. We make the list, we check-off items, and we work until the to-do’s are done.
Make a to-do list for your life (but please don’t call it a “bucket list” if you’re under the age of 60, OK?).
Now, the rest is simple. Start checking things off.
Things I Love: Other Bloggers
You’ve heard of “Follow Friday” on Twitter, right? For those unfamiliar with Twitter, “Follow Friday” is your chance to share with other people on Twitter your favorite Tweeters. Maybe you love your fitness coach, your OB-GYN office, or your home builder and you really enjoy their Tweets. Maybe you don’t reTweet stuff, often, but you really look forward to certain Tweets for whatever reason. Perhaps your favorite person on Twitter sends out some great parenting or health tips. Maybe someone else Tweets out clever quotes? Basically, for whatever reason you like following a particular person or brand on Twitter, you Tweet out to your followers a message with hashtag-FF (#FF) and because these people follow you, maybe they’ll follow your friend or your favorite Tweeter.
It’s a great courtesy. And just because I decide on one particular Friday to #FF (follow-Friday) three or four Mommy Bloggers that my sister follows, it doesn’t mean I have to follow them forever. However, maybe I’ll find these new Tweeters interesting or funny, or they’ll have a really creative blog, which is exactly the type of person I like to follow on Twitter.
Does this make sense to those of you who’d never heard of it? For those of you familiar with the #FF thing, did I explain it right?
Anyway, each Sunday, I’m going to start my own awesome tradition …”Share it Sunday.” I write for 5 blogs, and follow dozens of others, and read all different blogs all the time. It’s inspiring. Sometimes you sit there blogging and wonder, “why am I doing this? who cares? nobody reads, anyway.” But remember, you’re probably not blogging in order to get 100,000 readers. You’re blogging because you (a) love writing and (b) love whatever topic you happen to be writing about.
I love when I see people telling others about their passion.
Without further ado, here are the three best blogs I read this week.
This is my sister. Even if she wasn’t my sister, I think I’d love her blog. Maybe I don’t try any of the recipes, and maybe I can’t run 1,000 miles each week like she does, but it’s fun to see what motivates her and keeps her running and eating healthy. As far as a Mom Blog goes, hers is exactly what a Mom Blog should look like and sound like. She’s cool because she said at the beginning of the year she was going to start blogging, and unlike so many people who start and then sputter out, she’s there every dang day.
I met Kurt at a bloggers club here in Detroit. I love his blog because sometimes I forget about certain bands I have hidden away in my massive collection of MP3s and this guy reminds me to, hey, listen to some Buddy Guy or, hey, I’ve never heard of Cherie Currie, and then I got check ’em out on YouTube. Occasionally, I actually go and buy their music. Plus, it’s nice to see a guy like me, in his 40s, who refuses to grow up and become lame and boring.
I’ve been writing various stuff for 6 years. My writing is on again, off again, at times, but when I ran across Rochelle Melander, aka The Write Now Coach, I started writing more consistently, writing without fear, experimenting a little more, and basically with a ton more inspiration. She’s there in my email every week with tips and advice, she does monthly interviews with authors and writers who, I feel, are just like you and me. It’s part of her Always Write! series. Visit her site and you can listen to many archived interviews. If you want to write, and maybe you need help, check her out.
There you have it. Is it a cop out for a Sunday blog entry? Is it a shameless attempt to have other bloggers talk about me, or share my work? Is it a veiled lesson to my writing clients about how to use Twitter?
All of the above. Thanks for reading. Your readership inspires me. And if you wished you knew what I eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, then you should follow @donkowalewski.
Things I Love: Anticipation
Last night right at bedtime, my daughter’s iTouch started blowing up with quick hits from her friends that the teacher lists were posted and everyone was declaring which teacher they would have for the 2013-14 school year. She came running down from her bedroom (where she should’ve been fast asleep) saying, “so-and-so has so-and-so as a teacher,” and, “this person has this person,” (I’m leaving off names to protect the innocent).
My wife got just as excited and within moments our living room resembled the MSNBC newsroom on an election night, with text messages and emails flying back and forth, sticky notes on the walls tracking who had who as a teacher, and my 3rd grade son and his friend were brought into the mix. There were reasons to dance and high-five (the discovery a good friend had the same teacher), and some other reasons to reflect on what could’ve been (a friend was given another teacher).
Overall, it was exciting, I have to admit. I had to play the role of “Dad” and pretend to believe “all the teachers are good” and “I don’t think I really care if your BFF isn’t in your class, I send you there to learn and not hang out with your friends,” but deep down, the excitement was contagious and I was reminded what excitement for the future looks like. I was no different as a kid …once I heard the class lists were taped up on the door of my school, I’d haul ass on my bike up there to look. Heck, I might’ve ridden up there more than once, just because.
Anticipation is a powerful emotion for motivation. Christmas morning breeds buckets full of anticipation. The night before a great vacation brings anticipation.
What follows anticipation? That’s the thing …nobody knows. Anticipating who your teacher is and who’s in your class happens when you don’t know what’s going to happen, and you dream and wonder. Will that trip to Maui or Disney World be the greatest thing you’ll ever do in life, or will the airlines lose your bags and will it be 100-degrees in Orlando? Will your BFF be in your class, and will you both have the “nice teacher”, or will you be split up?
A life full of anticipation should tell us something – life is full of unknowns. The “unknown” breeds anticipation. Will this new job be my golden ticket? Will this conversation with this very beautiful woman lead to love, romance, and a magical life together. Will writing and finishing that book idea lead to a best-seller?
Truth is, we don’t know, and when we can’t bring ourselves to deal with anticipation, it is only then that we fail. My kids will have a great school year, and it doesn’t matter their teacher or who’s in their class. Christmas morning will be great even if there isn’t a puppy under the tree, yet again. As the wise father, I know this when it comes to my kids. But do I know it for myself?
I’ll never “anticipate” what a publisher or editor will say about my book(s ) until I actually finish it. I’ll never know if the 8 or 10 writing projects I want to try will succeed until I actually pick up the phone and call.
It’s time I start putting myself into situations where I create anticipation. How about you?
I keep asking for people to keep in touch with me over on that thar Twitter. Will you meet me there? @donkowalewski is my handle. Or ‘Like’ my Facebook Page.
Thanks for reading.
Don Kowalewski 