Don Kowalewski
Writer. Ad Sales and Marketing. Social Media Content Creator. Aeropress Coffee. Makes the best salsa in the world.
Things I Love: Other Bloggers
You’ve heard of “Follow Friday” on Twitter, right? For those unfamiliar with Twitter, “Follow Friday” is your chance to share with other people on Twitter your favorite Tweeters. Maybe you love your fitness coach, your OB-GYN office, or your home builder and you really enjoy their Tweets. Maybe you don’t reTweet stuff, often, but you really look forward to certain Tweets for whatever reason. Perhaps your favorite person on Twitter sends out some great parenting or health tips. Maybe someone else Tweets out clever quotes? Basically, for whatever reason you like following a particular person or brand on Twitter, you Tweet out to your followers a message with hashtag-FF (#FF) and because these people follow you, maybe they’ll follow your friend or your favorite Tweeter.
It’s a great courtesy. And just because I decide on one particular Friday to #FF (follow-Friday) three or four Mommy Bloggers that my sister follows, it doesn’t mean I have to follow them forever. However, maybe I’ll find these new Tweeters interesting or funny, or they’ll have a really creative blog, which is exactly the type of person I like to follow on Twitter.
Does this make sense to those of you who’d never heard of it? For those of you familiar with the #FF thing, did I explain it right?
Anyway, each Sunday, I’m going to start my own awesome tradition …”Share it Sunday.” I write for 5 blogs, and follow dozens of others, and read all different blogs all the time. It’s inspiring. Sometimes you sit there blogging and wonder, “why am I doing this? who cares? nobody reads, anyway.” But remember, you’re probably not blogging in order to get 100,000 readers. You’re blogging because you (a) love writing and (b) love whatever topic you happen to be writing about.
I love when I see people telling others about their passion.
Without further ado, here are the three best blogs I read this week.
This is my sister. Even if she wasn’t my sister, I think I’d love her blog. Maybe I don’t try any of the recipes, and maybe I can’t run 1,000 miles each week like she does, but it’s fun to see what motivates her and keeps her running and eating healthy. As far as a Mom Blog goes, hers is exactly what a Mom Blog should look like and sound like. She’s cool because she said at the beginning of the year she was going to start blogging, and unlike so many people who start and then sputter out, she’s there every dang day.
I met Kurt at a bloggers club here in Detroit. I love his blog because sometimes I forget about certain bands I have hidden away in my massive collection of MP3s and this guy reminds me to, hey, listen to some Buddy Guy or, hey, I’ve never heard of Cherie Currie, and then I got check ’em out on YouTube. Occasionally, I actually go and buy their music. Plus, it’s nice to see a guy like me, in his 40s, who refuses to grow up and become lame and boring.
I’ve been writing various stuff for 6 years. My writing is on again, off again, at times, but when I ran across Rochelle Melander, aka The Write Now Coach, I started writing more consistently, writing without fear, experimenting a little more, and basically with a ton more inspiration. She’s there in my email every week with tips and advice, she does monthly interviews with authors and writers who, I feel, are just like you and me. It’s part of her Always Write! series. Visit her site and you can listen to many archived interviews. If you want to write, and maybe you need help, check her out.
There you have it. Is it a cop out for a Sunday blog entry? Is it a shameless attempt to have other bloggers talk about me, or share my work? Is it a veiled lesson to my writing clients about how to use Twitter?
All of the above. Thanks for reading. Your readership inspires me. And if you wished you knew what I eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, then you should follow @donkowalewski.
Things I Love: Anticipation
Last night right at bedtime, my daughter’s iTouch started blowing up with quick hits from her friends that the teacher lists were posted and everyone was declaring which teacher they would have for the 2013-14 school year. She came running down from her bedroom (where she should’ve been fast asleep) saying, “so-and-so has so-and-so as a teacher,” and, “this person has this person,” (I’m leaving off names to protect the innocent).
My wife got just as excited and within moments our living room resembled the MSNBC newsroom on an election night, with text messages and emails flying back and forth, sticky notes on the walls tracking who had who as a teacher, and my 3rd grade son and his friend were brought into the mix. There were reasons to dance and high-five (the discovery a good friend had the same teacher), and some other reasons to reflect on what could’ve been (a friend was given another teacher).
Overall, it was exciting, I have to admit. I had to play the role of “Dad” and pretend to believe “all the teachers are good” and “I don’t think I really care if your BFF isn’t in your class, I send you there to learn and not hang out with your friends,” but deep down, the excitement was contagious and I was reminded what excitement for the future looks like. I was no different as a kid …once I heard the class lists were taped up on the door of my school, I’d haul ass on my bike up there to look. Heck, I might’ve ridden up there more than once, just because.
Anticipation is a powerful emotion for motivation. Christmas morning breeds buckets full of anticipation. The night before a great vacation brings anticipation.
What follows anticipation? That’s the thing …nobody knows. Anticipating who your teacher is and who’s in your class happens when you don’t know what’s going to happen, and you dream and wonder. Will that trip to Maui or Disney World be the greatest thing you’ll ever do in life, or will the airlines lose your bags and will it be 100-degrees in Orlando? Will your BFF be in your class, and will you both have the “nice teacher”, or will you be split up?
A life full of anticipation should tell us something – life is full of unknowns. The “unknown” breeds anticipation. Will this new job be my golden ticket? Will this conversation with this very beautiful woman lead to love, romance, and a magical life together. Will writing and finishing that book idea lead to a best-seller?
Truth is, we don’t know, and when we can’t bring ourselves to deal with anticipation, it is only then that we fail. My kids will have a great school year, and it doesn’t matter their teacher or who’s in their class. Christmas morning will be great even if there isn’t a puppy under the tree, yet again. As the wise father, I know this when it comes to my kids. But do I know it for myself?
I’ll never “anticipate” what a publisher or editor will say about my book(s ) until I actually finish it. I’ll never know if the 8 or 10 writing projects I want to try will succeed until I actually pick up the phone and call.
It’s time I start putting myself into situations where I create anticipation. How about you?
I keep asking for people to keep in touch with me over on that thar Twitter. Will you meet me there? @donkowalewski is my handle. Or ‘Like’ my Facebook Page.
Thanks for reading.
Things I Will Do: Write a Manifesto
I’m a little slow, so I only recently saw the Holstee Manifesto. The story goes (as I remember it from skimming an article briefly, yesterday, or maybe it was a Tweet with a link) these three friends were fed up with the corporate world and were going to start their own company, doing something, but before they did that, they sat outside on a bench near Grand Central Station and made sure they were all on the same page, philosophically. So they wrote the thing I embedded at the bottom.
It got me thinking …I need a manifesto.
man·i·fes·to [man-uh-fes-toh]
noun
a public declaration of intentions, opinions, objectives, or motives, as one issued by a government, sovereign, or organization.
Writing a manifesto is not as easy as you think. I’ve had to cross out things like, “I’m going to play NHL ’94 on Sega Genesis with my college friends for, at least, 2 hours each day,” and, “Double Stuff Oreos are the perfect food for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a late night snack.” Trust me, they were out of place. You’ll see when I post my manifesto.
Have you ever thought of writing a manifesto? Or have you ever written your obituary or the words you want on your tombstone and worked your way back to where you are, now? That’s another popular idea with the self-help folks. If you’ve got nothing to do this weekend, why not give it a try? Once you weed out the Sega Genesis and Oreo stuff, you’ll probably be pretty amazed at what’s left over and what’s really in your heart and soul.
Things I’m Doing: Making Donnie Jalapeno Salsa, Again!
Get excited.
Donnie Jalapeno Salsa RIDES AGAIN!
It’s August in Michigan. The farmer’s markets are bursting with fresh Michigan grown onions, roma tomatoes, cilantro, and all the other yummy ingredients needed for what I believe is the absolute perfect salsa. At least 27 people agree with me.
So. If you want some salsa, leave a comment, hit @donniejalapeno or @donkowalewski on Twitter, comment on any of my Facebook posts, or email me.
You might ask …where have you been? Well, it’s a funny story. There was this thing, called “my free time” and I was sorta missing it. I know, that doesn’t make me sound much like an entrepreneur, but I wasn’t able to strike a good work-work-side-job-work-life- faith-family balance. So I stopped staying up until all hours making salsa.
However, people have kept asking, “when are you making salsa again?” And they keep asking. Which is totally flattering and I just made some for my family when we went on vacation, and for my sister when she had a party recently, and people still love it.
And I still love it. And I love making it. And I love starting sentences with the word “and.”
Donnie Jalapeno is back. The orders are already rolling in and I LOVE IT! (have I mentioned I love it?)
Again, there’s a dozen different ways you can order yours …you might have to pick it up (or meet me somewhere not far from my house …I’m at the Maple/Lahser or Maple/Telegraph area). It’s sooooo good, you know it’s worth the drive.
PLACE YOUR ORDER by email, calling me, texting me, writing on my Wall on Facebook, Tweeting at me (see above), or grab my arm when you pass me in the street.
Flavors = Hot!, Original, and Mild.
$5 for 16 ounces, $9 for 32 ounces.
For those who’ve never had Donnie Jalapeno Salsa, trust me. The discovery of the perfect salsa was a labor of love. Think of the best salsa you’e ever had at a restaurant, and the best you’ve ever had from a store, and that great salsa you once had on vacation in Mexico.
It’s all that combined, but only better.
I’m making salsa next week on August 22nd (it’s a Thursday) for Friday pick-up/delivery and again August 23rd (Friday) for Saturday & Sunday pick-up and delivery.
Then the next week I’ll be making salsa on Wednesday 8/28 and Thursday 8/29 for Friday pick-up delivery and so you’ll have it for whatever your doing on Labor Day.
Viva la Donnie Jalapeno!
Let’s Tweet back and forth about my salsa @donkowalewski.
Things I Have: Goals and Dreams
I’ve been reading (listening to) Peter Walsh’s Lighten Up, as I think I’ve mentioned a few times here. I’m on my second listen, in fact. I’ve asked (am forcing) my wife to read it. She picked up on one of his themes …dreams versus goals. She and I talked a little about them, and differentiating the two isn’t exactly easy.
Why?
I think it’s because sometimes a dream can start as a pipe-dream (something that could NEVER happen), but can evolve into a regular dream (something that COULD happen and some other people are doing it). Then, some “dreams” suddenly become ideas that need plans because they don’t seem all that far fetched and before you know it …poof …a dream has transformed itself into a goal and you had darn well better start taking steps toward that goal or you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life.
Here’s a ridiculous “dream”: Someday I’m going to play point guard for an NBA team.
Why is that ridiculous? Because I’m 5’5″, I’m 40 years old, and I’ve never really played organized or competitive basketball. However, I love basketball. I love the NBA (not really, I mean, I used to, but the NBA is pretty boring, but still …playing point guard on an NBA team is about as outlandish a goal as I can come up with). Is my dream really to somehow be a part of the NBA, to work for a team, or the NBA itself? I’ll bet they have a careers section on their website if I looked. Or is my “dream” to play point guard and some basketball, for fun? Either way, the “dream” can suddenly adjust, be tweaked, and now either of those outlandish ideas can become “goals.”
I could coach a youth basketball team. Volunteer at a basketball camp by my house. Apply to be an assistant coach somewhere at a small local university or college. I could start a blog about basketball. I could join a team looking for players in a beer league, for starters. The list goes on and on.
If you have “dreams”, find a way to turn them into “goals.” My buddy Dennis suggested this road map for my “dreams”, recently. He suggested that today, I think of something I can do to forward my new business (write an email to someone, call someone, incorporate myself, sketch a business plan, created a list of potential customers, etc.). Or think of 3 things I can do by the end of the week and then do all of them by the end of the week. Then think of 5 things I can do in August and then do them all.
He’s 100% right. If you told me three years ago that by the end of 2013 I’d have four writing clients who pay me to write for them, and that I’d have a portfolio and writing resume that features a full length concert guide (book), multiple blogs, and various other articles, I’d have said, “oh, right, and maybe I’ll play point guard in the NBA someday, too.”
Dreams can become goals.
If you like Twitter and want to know when I think of something clever in the middle of the day, I’m at @donkowalewski.
Things I’m Doing: Making a Brand New Ending
I’m writing on the blog today to let you know I’m not writing on the blog today. How’s that for a riddle? People keep blogs for all sorts of reasons. This blog here? I’m going to journal my next 30-, 60-, and 90- days, my next six months, and all the months I’ll need to make it as a writer.
When you think about it, because I have a blog and a few writing clients, I’m already, technically, a writer. But you and I both know what I mean. I mean, I’m not yet a guy sitting in a coffee shop in Key West, plunking away on my Macbook secretly “making a living” writing articles for my clients, chapters for my next book, and asking other speakers, celebrities, and personalities if I can’t also write for them.
Yes. That’s the goal. Take the family to Key West. They go off and do Key West tourist-type stuff. I find a coffee place that serves dried bananas with my coffee. And I’m “at the office.”
It’s going to happen. My journey started Saturday morning after meeting with the way-smart D.J. Its’ funny …well, sad, actually …that he spelled it out so perfectly. I’m the only one who doesn’t believe in me.
#AmWriting #IBelieveInMe
“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” -Carl Bard
“Take time to reflect on your story–the story of your life. If not you may lose the thread of your life, your source of identity, and your purpose.” -Mustard Seeds
Also, I’ve kept a journal off and on since I was in high school. I usually used a typical spiral notebook or a composition journal, even though I knew Moleskins were the true, artsy, gold-standard. Lo and behold, Moleskin has a free app for iPad (and iPhone) and its brilliant and makes me feel snobby. I love it.
Things I Do: Wash My Cars and Mow My Lawn
What’s a “chore” if you don’t actually dread doing it? My wife would tell you its a mental problem. For me, there’s something very relaxing about mowing the lawn, pulling weeds a little as I go, and taking great care to make sure the edging looks clean. Is it escapism? Is it pride? Is it because I’m cheap? I won’t say it’s one of those, “if you want a job done right, you have to do it yourself,” type things, because my lawn is certainly not a work of art (I follow a simple weed n feed schedule and struggle with summer blight and crab grass every damn year).
Definitely, I’m cheap. I still can’t bring myself to pay someone $30 for an hours worth of work, even if the trade off is recapturing an hour and a half of my time. Wait …let’s call it “fiscally responsible.” Maybe it’s because I was raised by a guy who always mowed his own lawn and had an incredible lawn. Like, perfect. He never outwardly obsessed over it, but my Dad had an amazing lawn. In fact, when we moved, he seeded our new lawn himself …and he did it without and underground sprinkler system. Now that I think back on that, that might be one of the most amazing things he ever did.
Yikes. Have you ever gotten elbow deep into a blog entry and forgot where the heck you were heading with it and the point you were trying to make?
I think I’m asking …do I mow my own lawn and wash, vacuum, and detail my own car because I’m cheap, because I’m fiscally responsible, or because it’s yet another “chore” I can do that allows me to escape and daydream? And if it’s the third reason, is that a bad thing?
No doubt, my kids will always start helping me wash the car, so it’s good bonding (but they get bored at about the 10-minute mark). When they see me mowing the lawn, I think its good for them to see me working and taking pride in my house, and they help by picking up sticks when I ask, or sweeping the clippings off the driveway. I tell myself that, if they don’t grow up to have Bill Gates’s or Lebron James’s bank accounts, they’ll remember, hey, they grew up without a lawn service, without weekly trips to Jax Car Wash, without a cleaning lady, and with parents who clipped coupons and took them to the cheap movie theater and snuck candy in that was purchased at the discount pharmacy around the corner?
That’s what I saw growing up, and I turned out all right(ish).
This week we started “chores”, “jobs”, and will begin paying out weekly allowances to all the kids, and maybe this will all reveal itself to be a genius master plan. Thoughts? That’s another blog entry.
I don’t know about you, but washing the car with the Tigers game blaring from the radio speakers on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon (minus the timeless voice of Ernie Harwell of course) is a vivid and beautiful memory of my Dad – or while he was tinkering in the garage on his work bench, or fixing something, or changing the oil on our cars. His lawns …again …another great memory and, in the case of the new lawn I mentioned above, amazement. So, while I’m not actively engaged with my kids while doing this stuff, and they simply ride back and forth in the street on their bikes while I mow, or they run around in the fresh cut lawn, or play in the yard while I mow, I’m there. Should I feel bad? Or is that almost as good as if I hired someone to cut the lawn and used that hour, instead, to ride my bike with them, or throw the football around?
For now, I’m going to keep washing my car, mowing my lawn, and doing my own landscaping, hedge trimming, gutter cleaning, and house washing …because I enjoy it. And maybe someday I’ll figure out why, exactly.
Do you like Twitter? Cuz I do. And I’m always around @donkowalewski.
Things I’m Doing: Lightening Up
As I was reminded on vacation, I have a dang good life. I reminded myself of that, anyway. I worry about things that aren’t truly, truly important. This blog has become some sorta sad and motivational head-trip. I’m sorry. All I really want to do it talk about The Bachelorette, coffee, my hair, and …well …me.
Thank you, book on CD …and thank you Peter Walsh and everything you’re programming into me in Lighten Up.
Am I the only man on Earth who cried while watching these past two weeks of The Bachelorette? I highly doubt it (even if some guys were crying because they can’t believe they’ve reached a point in life where they are transfixed by this show, which is totally a chick show).
My recap of the 2-part finale will be up on spunkybean, soon. Worry not.
Yesterday, someone said, “love your hair,” so, again …life is good.
Follow me @donkowalewski if you wanna do that Twitter thang.
Things I Did: Took a Vacation
I needed a vacation. I needed time with my kids and my wife. I needed to clear my head and stare at the water for a while. I needed to cruise around a lake on a pontoon without sunscreen while holding an icy cold and watered down beer in my hand.
It allowed me to re-focus. To reflect. To meditate. To ponder.
Today on Facebook and Twitter, I shared this quote…
“The purpose of our lives is to be happy.”
It was attributed to the Dalai Lama. Or maybe it was my uncle, last week. Well, Dalai Lama said it, but my uncle showed that it can be true. I’m not sure about everyone, but I get very, very sad when vacation comes to and end. I always do, but was more sad this time. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m inherently lazy and wish I could win the Powerball, or if it’s because I’m not happy with my purpose.
I don’t mean to say I expect life to be like a permanent vacation. I’m just saying, I think life could be (and maybe was) more fulfilling before and will be again.
“Love what you do and you’ll never work a day in your life.”
My semi-retired uncle said he always enjoyed vacation, but he never dreaded going back to work when it was over (except for a brief 15-month period when he had an impossible-to-win assignment). My dad, similarly, has always maintained that he enjoyed his 37 years more than he didn’t enjoy it …and the man worked 60 hours weeks in 100+ degree heat for years and spent years working a 2nd or 3rd shift and only briefly passing my mom in the hallway like ships in the night.
Is it about the work I do, or how I do it? This is what I pondered all week, and I came to a very clear and obvious answer. It was obvious to me, my wife, my old friends, and the sea gulls flying over the water.
This was a great vacation for many reasons. Mostly, because I got to spend every waking hour with my kids. Second, because I think I defined my purpose.
Things I Wonder: Why Am I Afraid?
All day long I pick up the phone and call people who (a) don’t know me, (b) probably don’t want to talk to me, or (c) will be rude to me. And if I make 10 phone calls, 9 will end in disappointment. But that 1 good call …thrilling. Inspiring. It so far outweighs the other 9 calls that I think, “wow, what a rush …I’ll make 10 more calls right now!”
But only after I quick grab a coffee. And quick stop into my co-workers office to chat. And only after I return a few emails. And then, well, I’ll make those next 10 calls tomorrow.
Why I am afraid?
It’s not real fear. It’s not the fear you’d feel if a bear was chasing you through the woods. It’s not the fear you’d feel if your house was on fire and you couldn’t find one of your children.
In fact, I shouldn’t even call it “fear”, now that I think about it. A better way to describe it is “mildly uncomfortable.” But you know what? Before I pick up the phone, make a call, get ignored, thrown into voicemail, hung-up on, or someone tells me “no” or “not interested”, I’m a good guy. After I hang up the phone, I’m still a good guy. Before the call, my life is good. After the call, my life is good.
Why am I afraid?
The other night, I watched Jarhead. It freaked me out. It made me feel like a pretty big pansy, actually. Oh, boo, hoo, hoo …I make phone calls and sometimes people hang up on me. I try to sell stuff and sometimes people say, “no.” I need to get myself a copy of Jarhead and whenever I feel too uncomfortable, I’ll pop it in and remind myself for 200+ years, a buncha men have fought, died, and come back home injured or messed up in the head so I can sit around making phone calls all day, and the worst thing that might happen to me is that I’ll hear someone tell me “no” or hang-up rudely.
Why am I afraid?
For almost two years, I’ve been playing the “poor me” card about not being able to run because of my Bronchiactisis, but the truth is, I wasn’t doing anything. I wasn’t running. I wasn’t walking briskly. I wasn’t swimming. I wasn’t doing jumping jacks or sit-ups. Because of my lungs? It’s the excuse I used, but truthfully, I had no idea if running or heavy exercise would hurt me or not. Sitting and doing nothing was easy and ensured I wouldn’t feel “uncomfortable.”
Is that what stops all of us? I’ve read it countless places that “avoiding pain” is a stronger motivator than “finding joy” or “experiencing pleasure.”
In my life I’ve had moments of bravery, but never sustained. It’s time to put it all together. Write that book (even if it sucks when I’m done and people who read it tell me so …guess what …I’ll have written a book …and for sure, a half-dozen people will like it and be proud of me). Run those 5Ks (even if I do end up hurting my lungs again, maybe it will be a chance to have doctors look again and fix it for good, this time). Pick up that phone (knowing the person might hang up, but for goodness sake, just tell them what I’ve got and how awesome it is and show them how excited I am about it).
Do things. Are you afraid? Don’t be.
Don Kowalewski 