Writer. Ad Sales and Marketing. Social Media Content Creator. Aeropress Coffee. Makes the best salsa in the world.
As I’ve documented on this blog, I was having some sleep issues. Mainly, I’d wake up multiple times at night and have trouble going back to sleep and turning off my brain. Small worries would clutter my brain and then as minutes turned into hours, I’d invent things to worry about.
Some nights, I’m pretty sure I got less than 3 hours of sleep.
Multiple people suggested I try a Melatonin supplement. It apparently sells like hot-cakes at pharmacies and the thought behind it is, as we get older and as we all work in dark offices and under fluorescent lights, our bodies get messed up and lose their sense of daytime versus nighttime. Personally, for the better part of 4 years and these past 3 jobs, I haven’t had a window. Sitting in my office cubical, there’s no difference between 8:30am and 8:30pm.
It’s been about 30 days. I take it 20-minutes before bedtime (per the instructions) and for the first few nights, I didn’t notice anything happening and then …bam. Suddenly, my nights were like spending time at a drive-in movie. I had the most intense and vivid dreams, and I never dream. I read vivid dreams happen when you hit deep sleep.
So my conclusion, based on my dreams, and that I don’t drive to work feeling like a zombie, is that it’s working. Maybe it’s a placebo effect. Maybe some other circumstances and the addition of exercise to my routine, have helped me start sleeping again, or maybe some good things happening at work …who knows.
But it might be the melatonin.
As Lloyd Christmas said in Dumb and Dumber, I think … yes. I think I have an idea. Yes. It’s definitely an idea.
Stress is merely a result of thinking about things we’re not doing or things we think might happen, but haven’t happened. We don’t get stressed about a thing that actually happened because, well, it happened and we’re dealing with it. The solution to eliminating stress in our lives is …wait for it …doing things. More specifically …getting things done.
Recently I was asked to talk about an idea known as InBox Zero, introduced many years ago by Merlin Mann, and while researching the topic and looking for updates, I stumbled across and idea of the Zeigarnik Effect which is the idea you get more done when you do more. OK, it actually states humans are compelled to finish a task they’ve already started. When we don’t finish, we can’t stop thinking about it.
Duh. Seems easy. But we all know it’s not.
Television is popular because it allows us to not do things – another new theory of mine. That TV has adverse effects on us. It scrambles the Zeigarnik Effect, so to speak. For instance, you can’t worry that you haven’t talked to your mother in months or that your pipes are leaking and causing mold to grow in your crawl space when you’re laughing at Jerry Seinfeld and his predicament.
But let’s quick explore the idea (or my understanding of it) of the Zeigarnik Effect. Try a very simple thing today. Make a list and don’t go to sleep until everything on that list is done. Don’t include anything like “climb Mt. Everest” …I mean simply the mundane. Get gas. Buy drain cleaner. Call my tax guy.
Make a list and do everything. I’ll do the same. Guess what I’m checking off right now? Write a blog post.
This is not bragging. This is about being proud of a client who was wiling to take a risk and felt confident in me, my ideas, and my radio stations. And this blog entry is a significant departure from what usually gets blogged about around here. This blog entry is born of working with new clients, recognizing in them what true passion looks like, and realizing, hey …I have that, too.
For too long I wanted this blog to be silly and entertaining, but I found it difficult to write because I don’t actually spend my daydreaming moments thinking of jokes for Letterman’s monologue or writing books about vampires. I tried to bend to a reality where if someone asked me what I would do if money was not an object, I would have a great answer and it would be anything but what I was doing during my day job. Turns out, leaving my chosen profession – radio advertising sales – for 6 months in 2013 showed me I actually love my job, love radio, and I loved me doing that for a living.
So here it is. Is it a risk sharing success stories or philosophies on my blog? You bet it is. Because I might make mistakes and sometimes I might be wrong. But for 16 years, each time I made a mistake, I got better.
To my clients and future clients, I will put my heart and soul into creating for you the perfect radio and marketing plan.
So, here’s what I know, today – great creative will get results. What makes great creative on radio? Something that cuts through clutter and sounds different, but yet sounds familiar enough that it, essentially, is an extension of a conversation the listener might’ve just been having. Or it completes a thought the listener had. Or talks about something they were worried about.
It’s the best feeling in the world when someone trusts me, trusts my knowledge, and believes as strongly in their business as I believe in mine.
Congratulations to Macomb Children’s Dentistry on a great start to 2014 and letting me be a part of your marketing efforts. Here’s the 30-second commercial currently making phonea ring and then something a little extra we did together with “Suzy’s” help.
The radio commercial …
The office tour courtesy of Suzy.
Not sure why I feel the need to preface this with a preamble, but this is something I wrote and had the honor to share with people at my church and school a few weeks ago. And while I’m proud of my faith, my kids, my church and my school, this is not supposed to read as if anything in my life is particularly superior or better than anyone else’s. This is merely about my journey and how I ended up here and how having this particular parish in my life, I believe, has made me a better person.
But I do believe the main premise holds for everyone – if we surround ourselves with good people doing good things, the fall out is much better than the alternative.
Enjoy my little essay on why being Catholic and sendings my children to St. Hugo Catholic School is one of the better decisions I’ve made…
Last year my message about the benefits of a Catholic School education involved talking about the migration patterns of geese. So for those who remember that – honk, honk.
This year, my message is much more to the point: I send my children to St. Hugo’s Catholic School because being Catholic is totally cool.
And what else is cool? The new Pope. And it’s not just me who thinks he’s cool. A little thing called Time Magazine named him “Coolest Person of the Year.”
This Pope is like a headline making machine.
It seems as if every day there’s a new story about the Pope. Each story more incredible than the one before it. When he kisses the face of a disfigured man or sneaks out at night in plain clothes and feeds the poor, it’s humbling. And to hear of Jorge Bergoglio venturing into the poorest, most dangerous areas of Buenos Aires before he became Pope Francis, riding graffiti covered trams …trams, because subway routes wouldn’t even go to the areas where he’d go to pray and perform charity – it inspires me.
But my favorite story is a story I heard only recently. A 12-year-old boy, who’s parents decided there was a better place for him to go to school, moved him away from all his friends and everything he knew and put him in a new school. Then, on what was to be his first day at this new school, the boy refused to go into school at all.
His parents tried to convince him to give it a try, but he wouldn’t budge. His parents were ready to give in and forget the whole thing, even though they knew this school would be better for him. But the boy felt like a stranger. He felt alone. Then something amazing happened. A student who already went to the school walked up to the boy, put his arm around his shoulder – actually, two students approached him, basically fighting each other to welcome this new boy – and the boy told him, “let’s go. I’m your friend. My friends are your friends. So there. You’ve got friends here. This is a great place. You’re going to love it here. You got this.”
Who were these extraordinarily kind, gracious, and generous boys? Is this a story that took place somewhere in the distant past in a far away place, and I’m about to tell you the boy who told him, “you got this,” grew up to be Pope?
No, these wonderfully kind boys belong to my Parish and go to St. Hugo School.
Maybe you knew where I was heading with that. Maybe not.
That 12-year-old boy, who was entering 7th grade at the time, and who refused to even leave his parents car and walk into his new school …he goes here and he’s now an 8th Grader heading off to a Catholic High School.
The other 12-year-old who told him, “you got this?” He’s a St. Hugo 8th Grader, too, and so are all of his friends who just, sorta, naturally live their lives as Jesus tries to teach us every week in the Gospel, and as Pope Francis tells us and shows us we should live. These boys are shining examples of how we look when we truly follow the words of Christ.
I heard this story from the father of that new boy. I wish you could read that father’s entire email. He has a daughter at St. Hugo, as well, and he has equally amazing stories when it comes to her friends. This Dad said, “I’ve never seen anything like that and thinking back on that day, and the year and a half since, I’m happy every day we made the decision for him.”
St. Hugo’s is a school that teaches faith and charity, and when it does, and my kids come home asking for money to donate to relief efforts in Haiti or they reach into their clothes drawers and find things they haven’t worn so they can donate them, it inspires and teaches me, too.
We live in a world where bullies make headlines and the “cool kids” don’t follow rules. Here at St. Hugo, the “cool kids” are the very opposite of bullies …they are peace makers. You’ll see a display in the Parish gathering area showing students who were named “Student of the Month.” Do they get selected because of grades or academic achievement? No. Their teachers catch them doing something, on their own, that shows true charity and kindness and they’re named Student of the Month because they are shining examples of students living in the way Jesus teaches us to live.
Maybe these Students of the Month helped a fellow student with their math or geography? Maybe they saw someone who needed a friend when school and homework were getting a little overwhelming.
Something I pointed out last year I feel like I should point out again. Research shows the #1 influence on your child, like it or not, will be their peers. At St. Hugo’s School, your children’s peers take their grades and education seriously. Parents are involved and care. Your child is rewarded for living as Jesus taught us. They will work hard in charity and extra curricular activities (of which there are MANY), and they will be proud Catholics celebrating our faith and traditions.
In the book, Conversations with Jorge Bergoglio, the Pope talks about the moment he was first called by God to the priesthood, and he’s very mystical about it, saying God left the door open for him for several years. Though I can’t go back to 1955 when Pope Francis says he was called, and then to 1957 when Jorge Bergoglio finally entered Seminary, I have to believe the thoughts in his head weren’t all that different than what you and I have floating around our heads. Self doubt? Questioning whether we should pray more. Or maybe we wonder if a Catholic School really is a better choice. Maybe it does make sense and we should listen to our gut.
Is it your gut? Or maybe something else – or Someone else – gently nudging you to the doors of St. Hugo.
Like God left the door open for Jorge Bergoglio, our door is always open and we’d love for your children, your grandchildren, your cousins, or even your neighbors, who might only need a warm invitation from you, to attend our school and make it stronger. To make our school more capable of giving and making more amazing 12-year-olds who’ll head onto high school, college, and into this world making it a better place … one arm-around-the-shoulder at a time.
I, on behalf of Sister Margaret and everyone at St. Hugo School, invite you to visit our school and arrange a tour. If you’ve ever thought about St. Hugo and a Catholic education as an option for your child, but maybe you’re a little scared, come and see me, personally – or maybe I’ll ask those 8th Graders. We’re giving tours along with many other faculty, parents, and students who love the special gift this school is and let us put our arm around you and say ….you got this.
I probably shouldn’t jump the gun and claim I’ve conquered sleep, already. It’s only been 2 nights, but I might be onto something. Here’s what I’m doing…
Step 1: Planning a bedtime, sleep time, and a wake-up time that gives me 7.5 hours of sleep.
Step 2: 1-hour before my pre-determined bedtime, I stop looking at laptops, iPhone or iPad screens. I will watch mindless TV, however.
Step 3: I bought a sleep mask to create “total darkness” in my room.
Step 4: I make sure all devices are out of my bedroom and the only “glow” comes from the two bedside alarm clocks. But I think I’m going to remove mine because my Casio wrist-watch is sufficient to wake me up at my wake-up time.
Step 5: Drinking tea during my 1-hour pre-sleep ritual.
Step 6: Get into bed a minimum of 10-minutes before my pre-determined bedtime. Do some reading, meditating, praying, or close-up magic.
Step 7: Lights out. Sleep mask on. This happens at my pre-determined “sleep time” (which is different than “bed time” …yes, I’m a 4-year-old, again).
Step 8: When my alarm goes off in the morning at my pre-determined “wake-up” time, I’m getting outta bed without hitting the snooze bar and I immediately exercise for 30-minutes.
I have to say, friends …the first night, I awoke twice (not sure the times because I didn’t look at my clock) yet was able to get back to sleep. Last night, I woke up once, but got myself back to sleep. And yesterday and today, at work, I felt like a 25-year-old with boundless energy, clarity, focus, and an addiction to Instagram. Truth be told that Instagram addiction isn’t new because I felt younger …I love Instagram whether I’m a sleep-deprived 40-year-old who feels 50, or a well-rested 40-year-old who feels like he’s 25, again.
You were all waiting to hear this, right? Well, some of you could probably care less, but I’ve spoken directly with 12 dudes since my initial blog post, by phone and in person. Some offered advice. Some simply said, “when you figure it out, tell me.” Another guy (M.M.) said, “I thought that’s why they invented AMC or The History Channel …I drag myself down to the couch, flip on the TV, and sleep there.” Wise sage W.K. said he flips the TV on in his bedroom and sets the sleep timer while watching old sitcoms and that’s how he gets back to sleep. Then, there’s been at least another dozen dudes who’ve exchanged emails with me about this, or shared articles and links, so I know I’m not alone.
I share because I care. I share because, well, when I blog, it’s writing and I like writing and as weird as this sounds, when I don’t blog for a few days, I stay inside my own head mulling over idea after idea saying, “I should write that” or “that might make an interesting blog post.” Just explaining why I’m blogging about this and, essentially, airing out my oddities and problems, it helps. I wouldn’t blog about this, probably, except that when I initially emailed a few close friends, the response was overwhelming.
Turns out sleep deprivation might be a combination of turning 40, having a family you’re responsible for, dealing with and waking up to a little bit of your mortality, noticing you don’t have much in your savings account, and having to deal with the fact you (I) don’t have a vast fortune and sprawling estate like Oprah Winfrey, Bill Gates, or that Facebook guy. But W.K. said something else (I mentioned him above) …he said to count my blessings, realize how much I do have, to practice completely clearing my mind, and to look at it this way …how many unproductive years and days and hours did I waste in my 20-something years? Same question regarding my 30-something years. And then do the math and think about all I didn’t do, yet all that I did do, and I was doing these things at a snail’s pace in my 20s and 30s as if I had a million vampire years ahead of me. Now, he pointed out, I can take this opportunity to find clarity and looking at the next decade, or two decades, if I vow to stop wasting time and focusing on the useless and pointless stuff I did in my 20s and 30s …just think how much you, me, and he can pack into 20 years.
Seriously. Think about it. But not if it keeps you awake at night. I used to play in 3 simultaneous Fantasy Football leagues. I played video games like it was my job. And all these years later …whether I had or hadn’t spent the time doing those things, I’d be right in this same spot. Now, think about if I had spent the hours I used drafting players and researching free agents to, oh, write a spec script for a sitcom and then figure out where to send something like that? Would I be happier? You bet your Emmit Smith for Michael Irvin trade deal, I would.
40 isn’t old.
Losing sleep is actually bad for you …this Mens’ Health article says too many sleepless nights can cause brain damage. Gulp!
Oh, and I’ve mixed in 30-minutes of exercise each day.
It’s been a good day. Lots of support. Lots of sleep (for two nights, anyway). And lots of time ahead of me.
And because I’m a hypocrite, I’ll still Tweet my random thoughts, cool articles, and links to things I’ve written, which is in stark contrast to W.K.’s advice. But, oh well …that’s the part of life I really, really like. I’m at @donkowalewski if you care to ‘Follow’ me.

Here’s something that I picked up recently …a sleeping disorder. Not sure what brought it on. Might’ve been the mid-life crisis, might’ve been the 2 job changes in a year, might be the pressure of starting a new job and putting my entire mind, body, and soul into it. Or a bad mattress.
I’ll save you the gruesome details (which aren’t all that gruesome), but the problem was never falling asleep, but it was waking up and then trying to get back to sleep. I’d lay awake, some nights, for hours and sometimes for so long, it would be time to wake up and start the day. It wasn’t fun, and the more nights it happened, the more angry I was with myself for not being able to relax and get myself back to sleep.
Then something happened, I complained to a group of friends – all about my same age and in similar points in their career and life-cycle, raising kids, saving for college, and stuff like that. Turns out, it’s not uncommon. This never, ever happened in my 20s or 30s. But now, as I had begun my fifth decade, I was floating through my days on 5 hours or less of sleep.
In 2014, I resolve to figure this sleep thing out. It started last night with an earlier bed time, no computer screens or iPad or iPhone screens, and when it’s time to sleep …total darkness. I even bought a sleep mask.
Last night, it seemed to work. Except that the sleep mask was a little too tight (felt like it was pushing my eyeballs into my skull, which became another source of worry) and it’s electric-green, so my wife and daughter laughed at me when they thought I was sleeping. But I will say, I did fall quickly asleep, and the three times I woke up, I got back to sleep pretty quickly. And I made sure all laptops and devices were outta my bedroom, and I closed my door.
Total darkness!!!
And I don’t know if it’s real or a placebo effect, but I felt more alert today. And even though I missed the Golden Globes, which I selfishly wanted to watch, at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter.
Yay, me! Anyone else ever have trouble sleeping due to an inability to turn off their thinking brain? I’ve talked to at least 2o dudes my age who knew exactly what I was going through.
What are your tips? Tricks? Comment or Tweet at me @donkowalewski.
One of my resolutions this new year is to blog daily? Why? Ya know, I’m not really sure, but I know one thing …when I’m writing and creating, I’m happier. 2013 was supposed to be a great year for me. I was leaving a career of 16 years, and a company I’d been with for 10 years, to take a chance on a young company and it’s start-up, niche division, to build out its sales strategy, sales, and seek my fortune.
I didn’t make a fortune. I left that job. And I’m back in radio, selling advertising, and even managed to be hired back by the company I left. More on both those things in future blog posts.
The point is, 2013 started and I did all the things that self-help books, blogs, and sales gurus tell you to do. I wrote down goals. I created a vision. I showed up every day, with enthusiasm (for a while), and on and on.
It didn’t work. What happened? I guess I wouldn’t be the first person who tried something and it didn’t work, right? Heck, it wouldn’t even be the first thing I tried, personally, that didn’t work.
I’m committed to making 2014 better. But how?
One word: Resolve.
I’m going to have “resolve” instead of a long list of resolutions.
Sure, I have the standard list …get back into running, slowly, avoid snacks after dinner, write daily, show up early to work, read a book every month (I’m going to start with the complete works of Elmore Leonard), call one friend every day, floss daily, write letters, start my salsa business again, and …you get the drift.
But more than all of this, as Jeff Goins recommends, is have resolve. I’ve approached New Year Resolutions like I approach sales, I guess. I maybe thought if I make 100 resolutions and actually stick with 8 of them, well, hey …I changed my life in 8 ways, right? The problem would always be, then, that I’d think about the 92 failures.
Jeff says…
Here’s the bottom line: Without a stronger resolve, you have no hope of accomplishing your resolutions.
In other words, you need to commit. To choose into an intentional process that will make you better. Not a set of audacious goals you’ll never meet.
So that’s my number one, and maybe only, resolution …learn to have resolve. To define what that means and to apply it to my life. Like today …despite the fact I maybe don’t have “writing time” and I had a bad nights sleep and because I don’t feel like I have anything worthwhile to say or write about, I used that as a basis for this entry. And when I hit “Publish”, as trivial as it may seem, I’ll feel like I had a little of that “resolve” to start the day, I won’t be thinking about the “writing I didn’t do” and my guess is it will carry me through the rest of the day.
Follow me on Twitter at @donkowalewski.
Oh, and when I hear the word “resolve” I think of The Police’s “Every Little Thing She Does is Magic” and Sting pining …
“I resolved to call her up, a thousand times a day. And ask if she’ll marry me, in some old fashioned way.”
But, his “silent fears” stop him. Now that’s another blog topic for another day.
As I mentioned yesterday, this past weekend I decided to pick-up Scott Westerman‘s The Spartan Life 2 and read it again. But this time …really read it. And then blog about it. Why? It goes back to that old adage that you should think about a thing, then write it down, and then revisit it again and again. There’s some crazy high percentage that says people who write things down, their goals, dreams, etc …are much more likely to achieve those things.
Another favorite of mine is anything written by Roy Williams, aka The Wizard of Ads. His Monday Morning Memo “blog entry” (even though I think he shuns the idea of a ‘blog’) from this week mentioned “faith.” It’s like someone is trying to tell me something.
Have faith. Be faithful. Trust in faith.
This probably breaks some sort of blogging law, but I could’ve truly copied/pasted Roy Williams’s entire Monday Morning Memo, from yesterday.
Faith is the substance of things hoped for. Happy endings are made of it.
Faith is the evidence of things not seen. It is proof of the invisible.
Hope is optimistic expectation.
Faith is hope with its sleeves rolled up.
Faith is hope wearing working gloves.
Faith is hope yanking the ripcord of a chainsaw.
Faith is hope with a hammer in its hand.
Faith speaks of that which is not yet as though it already were.
Faith requires commitment.
Faith requires commitment and commitment is a choice. It’s not something that arises within you like courage. It’s not something that comes upon you like fear. Commitment is simply a choice.
Isn’t that beautiful?
That word …”faith” was also a main theme in the opening chapters of Scott’s book. And he was quick to point out, “faith” doesn’t necessarily mean religion, but he says “faith” is the most powerful version of belief – I’m paraphrasing him a bit, or maybe I’m telling you how I interpreted his words.
Belief in self. Belief in ones gifts. Belief in ones own voice. Belief, as Seth Godin often calls it, in ones “art” – that thing we do and we love doing it.
I had faith 2013 was going to be an adventure – and it was. Now, I have faith, with the lessons learned in 2013, I will make 2014 a great year. The best year of my life.
I’ll tweet about my best year, and I hope you’ll Tweet at me and mention me as you create your best year ever and I have faith that you will. Oh, I’m on Twitter at @donkowalewski.
Hit it, Mr. Joel!!!

In my never ending quest to find the prefect writing app for the iPad, my journey has led me to Textkraft. It q me of a word processor from the late ’80s or early ’90s. I recall two of my friends got word processors for graudation presents and I remember being a tad bit envious. These looked just like typewriters, but they showed one or two lines of text. Or maybe they showed about 20 words at a time. Anyway, it sounds ridiculous that you’d have to type into a small display and then read back your entire essay or paper in this little window, but when the alternative was typing an entire page and then messing up spelling or grammar on the very last sentence and, thereby making that entire page useless and needing to be retyped, this was a good thing.
Yes, there were computers at the time, but they cost ten times what a typewriter cost, and quadruple what a computer would cost – plus the printer. And those dot matrix things that printed on a spool and were prone to misreading …again. Word processors were awesome.
And, yes, I’m sure every single one of of my high school friends, by their sophomore year (1993 or 1994) had already ditched their word processors, but …what was my point? Oh, yes, this editor and interface reminds me of those word processors because Textkraft kinda has that simple feel.
Yet, when I was done typing this, it was easy to take this text and do something else with it. Blog it, send it to document. Hey, I could’ve sent it to Facebook.
I’ll use it for text only. I like it better than Pages, I think.
The worst thing about having a blog, which I’ve had now for about 10 years, is you can’t hide from anything you’ve said or boldly proclaimed. I’m lucky, for the most part, only about a dozen people read my blog, so it’s not like I’m letting too many people down.