Don Kowalewski
Writer. Ad Sales and Marketing. Social Media Content Creator. Aeropress Coffee. Makes the best salsa in the world.
Things I Don’t Do: Pace Myself
As I was walking this morning I thought about my pace. Was I going too fast? Too slow? Was this 1/2-hour walk really worth my time? You’re not pushing yourself, Don! So then I jogged for about 1/4-mile until I got out-of-breath and stopped. I felt defeated because 4 or 5 years go, I didn’t get to easily winded. So I walked faster …arms pumping like I was in a race, but I thought that I must’ve looked stupid so I stopped and just started walking at a normal pace. Yup. Worried about how I looked to other people at 6:05 a.m. when there aren’t any other people seeing me. I could be walking in a bikini and nobody would notice or care. I was both mad and depressed that this was my new version of exercise – brisk walking.
Well, when summer comes and I can get in the pool, I thought, then I can really work my muscles and increase my cardio fitness level. I wish I could play soccer on a men’s league but I can’t run. Why did I quit my bowling league? I really enjoyed that. But that’s not exercise. I’m fat and doughy. Why don’t I have any self-discipline anymore like I used to?
Yes, that was my morning. I took a nice 1/2-hour walk with my dog on a perfect morning (49 degrees, sunny) while an audio book played on my ear-buds, and I spent most of the time beating myself up about the quality and pace of my walk.
Truly. I didn’t hear a word of the audio book because I was lost in my self-loathing and anxiety.
During Lent I was going to try and focus on being mindful of my moments. To enjoy a book when I’m enjoying a book, and not daydreaming about what I’m not doing. To enjoy a walk and some music or an audio book when I’m walking and look around and notice trees, flowers, birds and such. To spend time with my kids and actually be with them instead of on my Twitter or Facebook or phone checking or thinking about work or my writing assigments and anything else my brain tends to gravitate to when it shouldn’t.
Lent is over. I didn’t do so well. In fact, I failed. I listed three things I was going to do …stop talking negatively about people, stop yelling, and being “mindful.” I guess I sorta accmplished two out of three – the negative talking stopped, and I mostly didn’t yell at my kids, but they made it tough, sometimes. Nope …I won’t blame them. That’s on me.
But “mindfulness” was probably my most important, and I failed.
So here’s what I’m going to do. Lent 2.0. Give me another 40 days and nights. I can do this.
Follow me @donkowalewski.
Vortex Pins: Basement Burger Bar
Whenever I see a local TV station or newspaper naming their “Best Burger in Detroit”, I’m a little skeptical. Those are bought and paid for, says the skeptic inside me. Hey. That’s fine. And I’m not saying I haven’t visited a few of those places and that the burgers weren’t tasty – but I always come back to Basement Burger Bar.
Located in downtown Farmington, and in a basement, no less, this always feels like “my place.” As if I’m one of only handful of people who even know the Basement Burger Bar exists. The owner sees me and says, “hey, Don …the usual?”
I nod approval. I sit at the bar and an icy cold beer slides across the surface into my outstretched hand. A cute, but not too cute, waitress who’s worked there for going on 16 years walks up behind me and says, “hiya, doll. We don’t serve your kind, here.”
I turn. We laugh. It’s an old joke I’ve heard a hundred times. It’s like coming home for Thanksgiving.
OK. So it’s not that quaint. Maybe it was at one point, but not in 2014.
Note 1: The waitresses are both “cute” and a few are “too cute.”
Note 2: Nobody knows me there because I’m anti-social (hence I have a blog)
What you get is a magnificent burger. It’s the kinda place you take someone who’s visiting and staying with you from out of town. It’s where you go to have a burger and watch the first half of a Saturday night football game in the fall. Or where you take your kids special when they brought home great report cards. Or let’s say you go to church on Saturday …ya gotta do dinner after, right? How about a burger? Yum.
Basement Burger Bar’s claim to fame is “craft burgers” and “craft beers.” Some call it “craft” …I call them a work of art.
One more great thing …it’s located right next to the Farmington Civic Theater (my favorite theater on Earth) and if you bring in your ticket stub (maybe you skipped church, who am I to judge), they’ll give you a discount.
See? Quaint.
Out late? It’s also a great place simply to grab a drink, with 40+ craft beers on hand.
Let’s eat.
Vortex Pins: Sunflour Bakery
I discovered this place on Fat Tuesday and trust me when I say, though their Pazckis are the best I’ve had in years, that’s only a small part of what makes this place special.
Do yourself a favor. Stop into Sunflour Bakehaus on your way home from work on a Friday and grab a coffee cake for Saturday morning. Trust me. Your whole family is going to have a better weekend when it gets started with these fresh baked delights.
Or pick up a loaf of bread and have them cut it thick for the best French Toast you’ve ever had. Or, heck, just toast the bread (and maybe sprinkle on some cinnamon).
For 70 years, Sunflour has been treating Farmington to, well, treats. But don’t let “70 years” scare you, they’er completely on board with gluten free, whole grains and whole wheats, and carb free …um, OK. It’s bread. Scratch that “carb free” thing.
It’s a perfect blend of a modern bakery mixed in with traditional favorites. It’s charming. And they’re stuff is fresh – like, baked this morning. You can taste the difference. You can smell the difference. When’s the last time you walked into a large grocery chain and smelled something baking and salivated? Happens here, daily.
What’s that they say …think global, buy local? I have another saying I’m fond of …if you’re going to eat, put great food in your mouth.
Ahem, I’m working on it. That wouldn’t sell T-shirts. But we’re not talking about T-shirts, we’re talking about cakes, bread, and baked goodies and Sunflour’s got it.
Vortex Pins: Farmington Civic
Ever notice how taking your kids to the movies gets more expensive with every new blockbuster and the popcorn sucks? Well not at Farmington’s Civic Theater located in charming downtown Farmington.
This is everything you remember and your parents remember about going to the movies, and while some things have definitely changed, some things have stayed the same. The tickets are sold at a ticket window. The popcorn is popped fresh – you can see it, hear it, and smell it. And you won’t be able to resist it.
There are two screens showing movies, and while the tall seat backs in the main theater bring back a rush of memories (of sitting up in the front row at a movie theater when that actually meant something, and the tall seats could keep you hidden from your parents sitting a few rows back), the modern movie visuals have not been sacrificed.
As I tell people, this theater is run by movie buffs who remember when “going to the movies” was an event, but they aren’t about to scrimp on sound and screen quality.
Or popcorn quality. Did I mention the popcorn is great?
Will you be able to check-out the Captain America sequel this weekend? No. But give it a few weeks, and if your schedule and your 9-year-old’s schedule didn’t let you make it opening weekend to the 148 screen mega movie plex, or maybe you just didn’t want to shell out $12 for each ticket, take a deep breath (without going deep into your pockets and bank account), and hit up the Farmington Civic.
Enjoy the show.
Things I Love: Magic
I once taught myself a card trick. I practiced it and practiced it and thought, man, I really have this down cold. Problem was, every time I performed it in front of anyone, they always said, “oh, well, you just had an extra card.”
Crap! And they were right. I’m not a magician. That’s probably a good thing. I don’t believe in “magic”, but I love being fooled. Like, watch the video below. Unless you know how this is done, or fully believe the entire thing was a set-up, you can’t help but be amazed (thanks to U.J. for finding this and sharing it).
So. Magic is magic. It’s a trick practiced again and again so every time the audience is amazed. It’s a trick, and we know it. We know that if the magician explained the entire trick as he went, we’d groan with how obvious it all is. But we give ourselves over to the trick – well, not everyone. Some people obsess about being able to figure out the trick. Like they’re disproving magic …magic being an idea and concept we all know isn’t really real …it’s just a trick.
But we want to be tricked.
And this makes me think a little bit about sales. Specifically what I do …advertising sales. Is the entire process a trick? An act? Some people want you to believe that. But like “magic is magic”, sales is sales, and advertising is advertising. How ironic that I “sell” advertising and ideas that I hope will help my clients “sell” their customers. Some would say I trick them into letting me help them trick their customers. Magic.
Audiences have proven over the years, they like magic tricks. Consumers over the years have proven they like good advertising. And salesmen over the years have proven people like to be sold.
Practice, practice, practice. Hone your act. Make ’em gasp with excitement and awe. That’s magic.
Negotiations and Love Songs
My latest self-help, mind-expanding, skill-sharpening, and world-changing idea will start and end with a book on tape called “The Art of Negotiation” by Michael Wheeler. He calls his school of thought “Negotiation 3.0” which will put me light years ahead of all those Negotiation 2.0 losers. I’ll run circles around them.
I hope his techniques involve running in circles.
Don’t be surprised the next time you ask me for something if I try to give you less. So much less you’ll be insulted. And then you’ll counter offer. And then I’ll counter offer. And we’ll finally agree and you’ll feel good, but what you won’t know, is whatever we agree on is what I wanted all along …negotiation master!
Here’s a few of his YouTube vids. And for those looking for “love songs” …sorry. I got nothin’ for ya. OK. I gotta a li’l something for ya. It’s the fourth video below. Enjoy.
Going Green …Green Vibrance
Multivitamins have been bothering my stomach recently. So, instead, I’ve been having a daily smoothie with spinach in the mornings. When I get smoothies at a place like Beyond Juice, they always put “shots” in them, adding Gingko or Wheatgrass or whatever. I wanted to do that at home and for some reason I’d never really looked hard enough , but they have all these additives at places like Plum Market or Whole Foods.
So, today, Green Vibrance is going to be a part of my life every morning. My smoothie is 1/4 cup leaf spinach, 5 mini carrots, 1/3rd of a banana, 1/4 cup water, 1 cup frozen pineapple, and 1 scoop Green Vibrance.
I’ve read I’ll have all day energy, my hair might get thicker and grow back, I’ll sleep better, stress less, remember more, and be able to bend spoons using only my mind.
And I’m drinking a shot of apple cider vinegar everyday. I don’t know how good it will be for me, but it’s gotta be better than adding McDonalds and a cigarette daily. What do I have to lose?
Mindfully Approaching Lent
I’m not sure who invented Lent, but I’ve come to think of it as the first 40-day Fit Plan, or the original “boot camp.” Seems like the bookstores (or Amazon self-help) has a new book or craze and they always are written around the same concept – that enlightenment, fitness, a perfect marriage, or the perfect dream job is all attainable in 30-days.
I use Lent in this way. To refocus and add or subtract something from my life that will make my life better when the 40-days are up. And I don’t take Sundays off. We’ve all heard it takes 30-days to make or break a habit, so that makes Lent the perfect length.
What are you doing? Here’s my list.
- No more yelling – especially at my kids and family. Maybe you’re like me, or maybe I’m unstable, but I don’t walk around work and yell at people. I don’t go shopping and yell at people. Yet, I find myself too often at home yelling at my kids and wife. How unhealthy is that? The people I, in theory, love the most are the people I raise my voice to most often. We’ll, I started this before Lent and I’m putting extra emphasis on it now that Lent has begun – no raising my voice in anger.
- No talking about people negatively behind their back. I don’t consider myself a gossipy guy, and I could probably chalk it up as human nature or therapeutic, and maybe it’s a sign I have deeper issues, but I’ll be the first to admit I sometimes talk negatively about other people. And it’s nothing sinister (I say trying to justify it), but it can’t be healthy to do it. It’s destructive and pointless. I shouldn’t be burning brain cells thinking about others shortcomings or judgingj them.
- Be “mindfull”. I’m going to practice “mindfulness” as I understand it. Here’s what I do – I think about work too much. I think about chores that I should be doing, or something I should be writing, or someone I should call – while doing other things. Most notable, when I’m spending time with my kids, too often my brain is somewhere else thinking about other things. Why?!?! What a waste of great moments! Three recent examples that make me sad with myself revolved around church, fishing with my son, and my sleep issues. Too many times I come away from church and if you ask me, “what were the Readings and Gospel about and what did the Preist talk about during the Homliy,” I honestly have no idea. So what’s the point of even going to church if the entire time I’m thinking about my to-do list at work, the bathroom ceiling that needs to be painted, and a door knob that needs changing? And another time recently, and often last summer, while fishing with my son – and fishing is supposed to be the ultimate “time out” – I was snapped back to reality when he said, “Dad? Dad? Do you think that’s true?” And it occurred to me he had been talking for many minutes and telling me something amazing and then asked a question, and I hadn’t a clue what he was just saying. I hate myself when that happens and I have to ask him to repeat himself and, this particular time he said, “nevermind.” Stuff like this haunts me and shame on me. Practicing “mindfulness” will help me have less regrets and, thereby, help me sleep at night – which usually consists of me waking up and thinking about regrets like this. Mindfulness is about enjoying the moment you’re in. When I’m fishing with my son … I need to fish with my son and not think about work or funny things to write.
Things I Did: Weekend Writing Wrap-Up
There was a point in my life where I’d have thought a blog entry like this was superfluous, unnecessary, and excessive (just like the two words I used after “superfluous”). I’d have also thought a blog entry like the one you’re about to read (or not read) is an exercise in arrogance. The great thing about getting older is you wise up and realize, who cares, and before long I’m going to be standing in a restaurant yelling at people about why rap music is what’s wrong with America and kids these days (that actually happened at a radio station event I went to this week).
Without further ado, here’s some stuff I wrote this week that’s available for public consumption (and I only wish I could share with you a script I’m writing, but …I can’t …yet). I hope you’ve bookmarked this blog or that you follow me on Twitter at @donkowalewski, or that you look at spunkybean every now and then. But just in case you have a busy life and it doesn’t revolve around me, here’s my weekly digest.
The Bachelor Juan Pablo, Sharleen Quits: As someone commented on Facebook …”weel you assep’ diss rose?” I really hope the women of America are paying attention to what an international heart throb looks like after a few weeks.
American Idol Rush Week Top-15 Girls Perform: Malaya! Malaya! Malaya! Can this awesomely cool nerd win over all of America’s hearts? Can her ridiculously amazing voice trump the pretty faces of a few other ladies? I’m not kidding you. I’ll vote for multiple times every week.
American Idol Rush Week Top-15 Boys Perform: At first glance, it doesn’t seem like there’s an Idol-worthy male performer, but it’s soooooo early. We have no idea who’s about to unleash a torrent of talent on our televisions. I love the quirky Alex Preston, but he lacks mainstream appeal. It would seem one of the Country boys should be the odds on favorite, but they lack a certain boyish charm.
American Idol Rush Week Results (Top-13 Revealed): American Idol and Fox gave us one of the most disjointed hours of television I’ve ever witnessed, and even though at the end of the show I was happy with just about everyone in the Top-13, somehow during the selection and reveal process, I felt anxious and angry and like my favorite show was being torn apart at the seams. Too much estrogen in my diet, obviously.
Things I Do: Persist – And finally, I’m linking back to a little something I wrote here on this blog (it was a slow week). But I read about persistence and someone at work posted a cool graphic about persistence and it all seemed like something worth sharing. It seemed like something worth examining further, or at least a topic worth pointing out. Sure, I’m in sales and it’s what I do for a living. It’s how I feel my family. Type of sales comes in a variety of forms, and I’m currently back to a more cold-call type selling (at least if I want to long-term, sustained existence). I had a nice 12-year run as a more transaction-type, inside seller. Though I’m not really thinking about my sales, as much as I’m thinking about all of us and everything we do in life. The very existence of this blog should tell you “Don wants to be a writer.” So after almost 7 or 8 years of blogging, having ghost-written two books, launched a pop-culture website, and now working on a script, I guess you could say, though I’m not throwing my entire existence into the endeavor, I’m writing …and it makes me happy. Would I love to be J.K. Rowling and appearing on Oprah? Sure, but that would be the happy accident of it all. I mean that. And who knows …maybe that will happen one day and when it does I’ll just say the secret to my success was persistence.
Now, I wrote so much (this was meant to be very brief), my coffee got cold. See you when next I blog about something.
Things I Do: Persist
“Commitment is doing what you said you would long after the mood you said it in has left you” –Don Mincher
Do I? Is it bragging? I can only say that after 16 years in sales and somehow managing to feed my family and (barely) make my house and car payments, I guess I must have at least a little persistence. I could probably have more. I could probably be more focused and make that extra phone call at the end of the day. Stuff like that.
I wonder what percentage of sales people read motivational quotes once. How many read them daily? How many read them, then make an action plan, and figure out how it applies to their clients, prospects, and leads? For example, look at the chart below. Let’s pretend everything on that chart is true. If these percentages are true,
Why do sales people read so many books? Sales is always changing, right? Or is it? I argue that if you find a really, really great and motivating book about sales or creativity or …well, really, any great book written on any great topic of interest to you …if you read it over and over again, it will have the same results as reading a new book on a topic every month.
Luckily for the next “expert” or “guru”, most of us keep chasing sales and keep chasing this idea that sales and closing sales will eventually become easy …if we just learn the right thing or read the right book.
There is no magic bullet, but this is close.
Don Kowalewski 