Don Kowalewski
Writer. Ad Sales and Marketing. Social Media Content Creator. Aeropress Coffee. Makes the best salsa in the world.
Lesson in Perseverance from the Honey Badger
What is this blog? Sometime it’s me talking about myself and what I got for Christmas and for my birthday and shamelessly just loving myself and stroking my own ego. But sometimes, I hope it’s amusing and interesting. And other times, I hope it’s educational and inspiring. This blog wouldn’t easily by re-purposed for a book or movie, but I’m OK with that.
Today, I post a video of the amazing honey badger which, I think, is amazing in and of itself, because that honey badger is wicked smart (to be read aloud as “wickid smaaaht”).
But the second reason I’m posting it is because there’s a “sales” lesson in the video. There’s actually a “life” lesson in there.
How hard are you willing to work for what you want? Are you willing to spend every waking moment looking for ways to accomplish your dream or finish a big project or chase down an idea? To get that dream job? To hit your ideal weight goal and be healthier?
The honey badger in this video wants one thing – he wants to escape his confinement and explore. He’ll stop at nothing to get out and be free.
When I want my dog to stay out of a room, I balance a big couch cushion in front of the restricted area and that’s enough.
Are you like my dog? Am I like my dog? Is a fluffy couch cushion enough to stop me? Or are you and I like the honey badger? Willing to do whatever it takes to get to our goal? And when the rules change or the obstacles become more difficult, will we adapt and adjust?
Today. I am a honey badger. Are you.
Follow me at @donkowalewski.
I Won Christmas!
I won Christmas. But not in the same way I usually win Christmas, which I usually measured statistically with measurable metrics like “most gifts” and “cost of gifts” and “percentage of list.” But not this year. This year, I measured it in here (pointing to my heart) and up here (pointing to my head).
We live in a material world and I try my best to fit into that world, worrying about (a) me, (b) myself, and (c) what other people think of me. I typically want other people to base their judgments on the things I have and the money they believe that I have. For most of my life, this worked out just fine. I walked around picturing everyone jealous of me.
Then, I approached 40 years old, then I turned 40, and then I went zipping right into my “40s” (the decade, not the beer bottles) and it all changed. I started to realize, nobody cares, Don. Nobody thinks about you and envies you as much as you hope they do. They have lives and families and concerns of their own.
I had to shift my entire world view. And with that came new (and probably healthier) perspective. Which brings me to my Christmas list.
My sister has laughed quite a bit about my Christmas wish-list. Everything on it was practical and boring (to the outside world). Usually my list is filled with items that make the outside world think I’m doing all sorts of awesome things …like dressing in high fashion and expensive clothes, or exercising and being awesome, or into expensive hobbies because I’m soooooo upper middle class. Not this year. My list, in a nutshell was (a) keep my feet warm, (b) help me sleep, (c) replace something I had and used up, and (d) drink – in style.
Guess what? When you ask for things, and get things, that enrich the lives of those around you, it’s actually way better.
My new world view is shifting to, if I get this, I can make Person(s) A happy by __________.
I got waterproof Bogs (slip on shoes) rated to 20 degrees below zero for walking the dog or for quick chores outside. This makes my life better by walking more. Makes my dog’s life better by walking more. Makes my wife’s life better because I don’t track dirt and mud into the house. Yes. I have running shoes. But on a 35 degree rainy day when the neighborhood is all puddles and wet grass, having these quick slip-ons is brilliant.
I got warm, boot high socks. I didn’t even know I wanted them, but my wife did, and they are cozy and warm and when it gets really cold (which I’m sure is coming soon), my feet will be warm (while walking that damn dog the kids wanted so badly …do you see them walking the dog? 10-9-8-7-6 …OK …I’m better).
I got a “#1 Dad” wallet, which means all my hard work in 2014 elevated me from “All American” to #1. Woo hoo! It’s probably because I bought this particular daughter a dog, come to think of it.
I got Bedphones. Hey. I have trouble staying asleep. I was trying to fix it by (a) reading in bed whenever I woke up (which meant a 1/2 hour or more of wakefulness in the middle of the night). Or (b) I tried heading downstairs and sleeping in front of the TV, which meant bad sleep in the glow of a TV (that’s horrible). I (c) tried getting up and making lists (of the things I was worrying about). That didn’t help. But I found the best idea was to have a few (boring) audio books ready on my iPhone. When I wake, I quickly pop in the headphones, set the sleep timer for 30 minutes, and then try like hell to stay awake and listen. But when the book is something like the epic “John Quincy Adams” biography and it’s detailing the letters he received from his mother about how to dress in public …trust me …it’s a cure of insomnia. Sorry, history buffs …it was interesting, but not that interesting. Ear buds hurt my ear canals, so I read about these Bedphones wish are soft and lay gently against my ears, but not in my ears, and I can sleep on my side or back and I can’t really even tell I have earphones on.
And lastly, I got a new sea salt block for grilling and cooking (which I love and love doing it for my family and I love when my wife says, wow, this tastes so good), and my Secret Santa at work got me a growler (32 ounce beer bottle) which I can get filled at local breweries. I’m not a “craft beer” guy, and rarely will I pick up a bottle of micro brew, but the style and flair of bringing a growler into a brewery and having them fill it up …OK …so this was the one gift that still screamed, “look at me …I do cool things. Envy me.” The growler is cool.
Can this non-selfish, and non-ego gratifying outlook on gift-receiving last into the rest of my life? Not sure. But for now, getting things that improve my life and improve the lives of those around me …it feels pretty good.
What if I really adopted the motto …help others in order to help yourself. That sounds like a pretty good resolution. And I’ll hope, maybe, somebody reads this blog entry and doesn’t see it as self adulation, but maybe they say, hey, me too.
Follow me at @donkowalewski on Twitter.
Goal-setting for 2015
I think something might be wrong with me because when I look ahead to 2015, one of my big goals is to organize my names, phone numbers, mailing addresses, and email addresses. I guess you’d call that “my Contacts.”
Yup. That’s my “big goal.” It’s exciting times in the world of Don Kowalewski.
It’s about getting organized. It’s about re-connecting with people and taking control. And, yes, I’m starting with my Contacts.
See …I have Outlook at work. I enter names and contacts in Outlook and mostly they show up on my phone. But sometimes they don’t. And when I meet people and enter names and numbers on my phone, they sometimes show up in my Contacts in Outlook. But what I’m going to do … seriously, I can sense how excited you are …I’ll use Yahoo! Contacts as my main entry point because I’ve run some experiments and it’s pretty good. If I enter a name and address there, it shows up unduplicated in both my iPhone and iPad. Doesn’t show up in my Outlook desktop, but that’s OK. It’s rare I’m not living-on and working from my phone.
Oh, and for your Google maniacs? Yes. I tried. And it didn’t sync as smoothly.
Why is this my goal? Well, because in our annual Christmas card mailing, with my job changes, I realized I lost many, many addresses. In the last 15 months of transition, I’ve lost contact with many, many friends. And I don’t like myself as much when I turn into a recluse. And, yes, I’ve also considered the fact that none of these people have called me which means either (a) they are in the same boat as me and are busy or lost my # or (b) don’t like me.
But I’m also not going to sit around worrying about who doesn’t like me. Because I like them. And that’s what matters. My old friend Pete came to Michigan twice, and I didn’t even pick up the phone and call him and say I’m sorry I was going to miss him this time around. My other great friend Matt …well, I haven’t talked with him in a year and a half. Shit. I haven’t called my cousin Scott about his big move and promotion or my li’l-brother-from another-mother, Nick, to thank him for guidance and counsel over these past 15 months.
I guess you could say my goal is to start a habit. Start a habit of calling people when I think about them. And this all goes back to my idea that God and angels whisper in our ears all the time, but we don’t always listen. We think we’re going to see a burning bush or the sky is going to open up and the voice of God will thunder down. But what if God just sends angels to whisper little things like, “call your old boss.” Or, “write a quick blog entry.” Or, “tell your Dad you love him.”
Has a random thought or person ever jumped into your head? Ever wonder why it jumped in there? Ever thought maybe an angel whispered it in your ear and you should do something about it?
Note: An angel might’ve just whispered the Knight Rider theme song in my ear, which means sometimes random thoughts are just random thoughts, or some angels are pranksters or really pushing me to think deep.
Focusing on and organizing my Contacts seems frivolous and small. But from a small goal, who knows, maybe big things will happen. Like …I want to lose 10 pounds in 2015. I could do it by mid-January by drinking a million gallons of water, eliminating all carbs, and doing some P90X. But couldn’t I also do it by forcing myself, twice a day, to take my dog for a 30-minute walk and skip snacks in the evening? Two daily walks and skipping snacks is small, minor stuff. But if I do it, by the end of 2015 I’ll have walked for 3,650 hours (exercise, activity, fresh air, healthy dog) and at a typical average walking pace, I’ll have walked 12,000 miles.
I hope I did that math correctly (3.5mph x 3,650 hours).
I’m going to connect and reconnect with more people. I’m going to organize my Contacts. I’m going to have a great 2015.
Follow me at @donkowalewski and tell me what you’re doing. #OneSmallThing
Oh, and put this in your head, today. You won’t regret it.
A Christmas Tree Saved is a Christmas Tree Earned
We started a new tradition last year. We went to a tree farm in northern Michigan and chopped down a tree and brought it home. Tied it to the roof of our van, we did. I didn’t have string, so I borrowed some “line” from my father-in-law. It was “rope” now that I look back.
We’ve always gotten a real tree. Usually we go to a tree lot in the suburbs of Detroit and pay way too much (ahem, $90 anyone)? But it’s all about the charm of letting the kids run around and hide in between the trees and stuff like that. Then we pay too much for a wreath, etc. So, we thought we’d save some money (half, actually) and hit a tree farm. The kids still had a blast and the only complaint from last year was that I walked, saw in hand, half a mile into the tree lot before I found the perfect tree and then I had to drag said tree a half mile to my car. Oops.
This year wasn’t much different. Maybe I only dragged this really big Douglas Fir about a quarter-mile. I was noticeably less out of breath. But this year, I didn’t have “rope.” I had brought a roll of my own twine.
Did you know not all twine is made equal?
Well, I mention I’ve always bought “real trees” to demonstrate I’ve tied many trees to the top of my vehicle over these past 16 years of marriage. Never had a problem. There’s not much to it. Three lines are all I’ve ever needed. One at the base. One at the top. One around the middle just for good measure.
But with inferior twine, well, it’s a different story.
About a 1/2-mile down the highway after leaving the tree farm, I heard a “whoosh” and looked in my rear-view mirror and saw a fat Christmas tree bouncing and rolling down the right lane of I-127. And behind that tree, dozens of car (turning into a hundred cars) all slamming on their breaks. Me? In the blink of an eye? I became that a-hole that backs up traffic for miles. I pulled over to the shoulder and while everyone was backed up, merging into the left hand lane to avoid my tree, I backed up a few hundred yards back to my tree, put my hazard lights on, then ran into the highway to retrieve my tree.
My bad luck was slightly muted by the fact there was a snow-plow guy who pulled over to help and he put on his flashers. Truth be told, this guy was too helpful and not at all afraid of the cars whizzing by at 60 or 70 m.p.h. just a few feet from my vehicle (with my family inside) and me climbing all over my car trying to get the tree back on. He even kept kinda stepping into the right lane of the highway. He was far too confident that everyone would be paying full attention and not texting and driving.
Me? I wanted to tie the tree on at the minimum level needed to drive, slowly, about a 1/2 mile up to this house/driveway just off the highway. He wanted to make knots worthy of Boy Scouts or sailors of the 1400s.
He and I tied 6 lines to it and then I insisted we “get off the road” and I bid him farewell. I proceeded to the driveway, as was my plan, and then used the rest of my entire roll of twine to secure the tree (which was now on my roof fat-side/bottom-side forward). But when a guy stops and is helping you and puts himself in harms way, I wasn’t about to ask him to turn the tree around.
Three lines is usually all I need. On this day, after the incident, I had about 17 ties going across and around the tree. Gulliver himself wasn’t as securely tied down.
And I made it home, but all I could think the entire way home was, “if this tree flies off my roof, can I be convicted of manslaughter?” And while I slowly drove 65 m.p.h. in the right lane, I kept seeing other people coming from tree farms and their trees were secure in a netting type bag.
The lesson here? Maybe it’s worth the $40 to just buy it in the neighborhood or maybe I need to learn to tie knots.
All I can say is this …the tree has earned it’s place in our living room.
Switching it Up
December 2nd. One month left in 2014. It’s the final push for whatever I said I was going to do this year. You?
My right hand has been going numb recently. I’m moving my computer mouse to my left hand. I’m going to scroll through Twitter and Facebook on my phone using my left hand or my left ring finger.
I’m going to start getting up at 5:30 a.m. every morning and (a) taking the dog for a 45-minute walk (weather permitting) or (b) do a half-hour of this Insanity Workout DVD collection I bought at a garage sale.
I’m going to make myself go to bed at 10:00 p.m. every night.
I’m going to blog every day about something.
And I’ll be getting a jump start on 2015. Too many people use this final month to say, “well, I’m going to just play out this year and then next year I’m really going to ______, and ______, and _____.”
But why not start, now? I’ve blogged about it before, but starting workouts now and eating more fiber now will make it much easier on January 5th (the day I predict most people will officially and earnestly start all the great things they have on their to-do list for 2015.
Not me. Not you. Let’s start, now! Call it a year-end push. Call it a 2015 jump-start. Call it habit-forming (ya know …they say a habit takes 30 days to create or destroy). Call it a 2015 sneak peak.
Oh, I like that. It’s a sneak peak at how awesome I’m going to be in 2015.
I’m going to be using my mouse with my left hand in 2015. Bam! Call me Mr. Awesome!
Can you top left-hand mouse-usage? Whatcha got?
Advertising Myself (Brand Me)
The picture says it all, so there’s no real reason to support it with a blog entry, right? Well, this is a blog, so …ya know. I’m gonna blog something.
The picture is my “why?”
Why do you waste time blogging, Don?
Why do you love Twitter so much, Don?
What good is all this extra writing doing for you? What’s this about you ghost-writing?
What if you spent the time you spend blogging and engaging on social media just working?
I guess I’ll answer your question with a question? Do you have hobbies? Do you golf? Do you scrapbook? Do you gamble or play fantasy football?
Without a creative outlet, personally, I’d be less than what I am. It’s a hobby. And I like to think, maybe someday, the stars will align and – boom, poof – I’ll have 10,000 readers and a publisher will all but beg me to write a book. Or that won’t happen, and I’ll just have a buncha blog entries that explained who I was and what led to who I am.
I am a radio advertising professional. I love radio as a medium. I am a writer. I am a ghost-writer. I am a blogger. I am a part time social media consultant. I am a content creator.
I enjoy it. And, something happened along the way – I learned to market myself. It’s made me a better version of the person I try to be in my day job.
It’s about passion. Want to know my passions? Want to know what excites me in the middle of the night and gets me out of bed and running to my iPad to jot down a “great idea for a blog entry?”
I want to know what does that for you.
Follow me at @donkowalewski.
What Can I Do Before the End of the Year?
Here we go. 60 days remain in 2014. What did you want to accomplish? Here’s what I have left to do before the end of the year.
- Reorganize my Twitter
- Reorganize/update my Yahoo! Contacts (and sync with my iPhone)
- Finish the script for the television pilot that my friend and I have a green light to pitch.
- Write my book (well, write any book)
- Lose 15 pounds (not easy with Thanksgiving coming up)
- Blog at least every other day
It’s nothing earth shattering, but I find as the resolutions and to-do lists pile up and as the “stuff not getting done” piles up, I feel like I’m failing and drowning.
But, it’s the home stretch. I want to look back at 2014 as a big year full of steps forward and progress towards my dreams.
Ya know how runners have a good pace and then at the end of the race they dig deep and run to near failure, pushing toward the finish line …this is that last 1/2 mile of the marathon (please don’t do the math and tell me that 26.2 miles, if it were a year, means each month is about 2 miles and the true home stretch is actually just the last two weeks).
I’ve just passed the last water station, my best 6 running songs just came on my iPod, and I’m picking up the pace. I’m going to finish strong.
Ready, set, go.
All American
Where did I go wrong? What could I have done better? I got this mug (pictured at the top) at Christmas from my 7-year-old daughter and I should be flattered, but instead … I’m troubled.
Did she walk right past the “#1 Dad” mug, and have to reach behind the “World’s Greatest Dad” mug to find this one? Did she at one point stand at the Secret Santa shop holding a “Superdad” and “All American Dad” mug in each hand and then decide, “well, he’s not exactly ‘super‘.”
I would’ve even been OK with “Dad of the Year” knowing I have to keep working hard and take nothing for granted.
What does “All American” even mean?
Or is it some sort of anti-immigration statement being made by this particular mug manufacturer or by my 7-year-old. And if so, who’s been letting my 7-year-old daughter watch Fox News?
And am I first team All-American or second team?
I know some of you might think I’m reading too much into it, but that’s what I do. I suppose I should just love it unconditionally as it came from a tiny 7-year-old heart that was so proud to give this to me because I love coffee and the mug says “Dad” on it. But coffee doesn’t taste as good when you know you’re not quite worthy of a “#1” or “Greatest.”
What now? What should I do now that I didn’t receive the proper praise and affection I wanted?
There’s a lesson here. And, yes, I know my 7-year-old wasn’t trying to send me a message. This wasn’t a performance review via a mug.
But what if it was?
It’s great to be recognized for your efforts and achievements. But sometimes you aren’t. And you have to be OK with that. If you are putting your heart and soul into something and nobody says, “thank you,” or, “golly gee we appreciate all your contributions to the team,” … we all need to learn to move on. And similarly, when we get a mug that says, “3rd Best Dad” or some review that doesn’t point out how great we are or how special we are, we need to learn from that. We can get better in those moments.
If you’re told you’re the “best” or the “greatest”, what then? Do you stop?
Again, my 7-year-old wasn’t firing a shot, but I can still use it as motivation. How can I ensure I’m “Best Dad Ever” or “#1 Dad” in the future? What if I spent more time playing board games or sitting and doing puzzles on Saturday morning instead of watching my son play Xbox while I click around on my iPad next to him? What if I tell my oldest daughter “I Love You” more than I currently do and what if instead of just saying, “I love you,” I mixed in a, “I love that you _______,” or, “I love you because you _______.”
Our next show-stopping performance doesn’t have to be to cross the Grand Canyon on a tight rope. It can be simple, little things. And just like it was a simple little thing that formed the Grand Canyon, one bucket of water at a time for thousands of years, so too will your life be as a “Greatest Dad Ever” or “Employee of the Year” or “Executive VP.”
Do something extra, today. Invent a new action today that will take a relationship or a project to a new level.
And have a cuppa coffee.
Follow me @donkowalewski on Twitter.
What Do You Love?
I blogged today. Just not here at Kaleidoscopic Raygun. Instead I blogged over at spunkybean, the pop-culture website I sorta co-founded and then sold for a bag of magic beans. I did one really great thing while running spunkybean – I found two of the most dedicated and talented writers I’ve ever met. Both reliable to a fault. And even when I flaked out and fell off the planet, they have been writing tirelessly and endlessly and that site is still going.
I used to write a ton about American Idol, and I wrote a lot about The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, and right now I’m writing a weekly column about Survivor.
I tell you that so you realize I’m still alive in Jeff Goins’s 21-Day Blogging Challenge. There were no rules on where one blogs. In fact, I’m kind of overachieving because I have multiple blogs.
Where is the life-lesson in this entry, you ask? It’s that you should pursue a passion or have a creative outlet to help keep your life in balance. For some, it’s golf. For some, it’s scrapbooking or photography. Whatever it is, we need something that makes us feel alive. I get sad when I see people having fun with a hobby and then quit, because dream-crushers make them feel less-than for having a hobby like photography or blogging. And sometimes these dream crushers are the same people who waste countless hours on things like fantasy football, golf, or great shows on HBO.
Nobody makes fun of someone who is into model trains? People don’t usually make fun of people who are 40 years old and play in a band.
For me? Blogging and writing is my garage band. It’s my golf league. And along the way I’ve picked up some clients who want me to write things for them. I’ve had the chance and been asked to speak to people. And from time to time someone comes up to me and says, “you’re really funny,” or, “you’re very inspiring,” and maybe that sounds egomaniacal, but I love that.
I blog about a TV show. I have fun doing it. Some people read it every now and then and like it. I guess that’s what shooting par must feel like.
Where’s your fairway? What are you shooting for? What do you daydream about when you’re not thinking about a deadline at work or how you’ll pay for your kids college? Me? I think about things it would be fun to write about and what might make someone think or smile.
Make someone smile. No …wait …make yourself smile. And that’ll make me smile.
Learning Something Every Day
Inspiration can strike at any time. Today it happened for me at the dry-cleaner just after 7:30 a.m. when I picked up my shirts and a suit.
My dry cleaner had a little newspaper sitting there by the cash register. At first I laughed. I thought to myself how foolish and what a waste of time it is for a company to publish a little newspaper.
But then a headline jumped out at me and the article that followed blew me away.
I wash my bed sheets weekly. Check. We wash towels in our house, it seems, daily because the standard practice of my three children are to just drop them on the floor after they’ve been used and by the time my wife or I find those towels, they sometimes already smell musty, so into the washer they go. Oh, and my one daughter has no concept of “my towel” and will use whichever towel she can reach.
But …the pillow? Should be washed weekly(ish)? I thought I was good replacing my pillow once a year, but according to the cleaning experts at my dry-cleaner and their intrepid reporters, I’m laying my head down nightly on a germ factory and dust mite cemetery.
Today begins my 21-Day Blogging Challenge with Jeff Goins. My goal is to take simple things and blog about them, and offer a lesson.
What did I learn today? Respect other’s voices. Hell …I’m a guy with a blog and was part of founding spunkybean, a website about TV shows. And I want people to read and marvel at my wit. This newspaper at my dry-cleaner is someone else’s fun/good idea. A co-worker telling me about their commute or their recent conversation with a client …there’s a reason they’re telling me and I should listen.
I’m going to do a better job of respecting others voices and their stories. I’m going seek opportunities to learn and grow in more moments in my life.
So today, I didn’t just learn I should wash my pillow more, but I should lower my defenses and open my eyes and ears more.
Will you do the same?
Follow me at @donkowalewski
Don Kowalewski 