Don Kowalewski
Writer. Ad Sales and Marketing. Social Media Content Creator. Aeropress Coffee. Makes the best salsa in the world.
Living Deliberately. Blogging Intentionally.
There’s this concept called “living deliberately.” It means not letting life just sorta happen to you, but instead, controlling everything that happens to you (that you can). Things like when you wake up, if you exercise, whether you enjoy your job and control your workday, or it controls you (your time, your mind, your sleep).
Do you hit the snooze bar? Then you’re not living deliberately. And I’m talking the figurative “snooze bar” on your life and dreams, projects at work, phone calls to friends, as well as the literal snooze bar and when you wake up. If you want to get up at 6am, get up at 6am. Don’t set your alarm for 5:40 and hit the snooze 2 or 3 times and then get a late start.
Imagine a life where you make deliberate, well-reasoned decisions on just about everything. Wake at 5:15am. Walk the dog and listen to something interesting for a half-hour. Shave. Shower. Floss. Make coffee.
For me? This also includes “writing.” I like myself better when I’m writing. Super blogger guy, Jeff Goins, understands what I mean. It’s why I’m tackling his “21-Day Blogging Challenge.” It starts on October 8th. I guess this blog is my jump-start.
But, Don, you say. I’m not a blogger. It makes no never mind. Blogging for me isn’t totally about my becoming a writer. It’s a brain dump. As Jeff Goins also points out in his entry “Why You Should Start a Blog (Even If You’re Not a Writer)”, by organizing my thoughts and forcing myself to coherently communicate them in writing, they go from some random thoughts inside me head to deliberate, clear ideas I can see and read on the page. Some ideas don’t seem so great once you put them in writing and that’s OK. Other ideas turn out to be better and take shape once you force yourself to express them in a way that someone else could understand.
I’ve blogged for a long time. I’m going to keep blogging. And I will accept this 21-day challenge and see how the thoughts look once they get out of my head and onto my blog.
Follow me at @donkowalewski
Twitter is Great
I talk about how much I love Twitter so much you’d think I own stock. I’ve convinced at least a half dozen people over the years to try it and they’ve almost all fallen in love with it. Not because they like Tweeting, but because you can use it to navigate any passion, hobby, or interest you have. You can use it to passively monitor the industry in which you work, or news in your community, or a hobby you just started.
So, this morning a super cool and motivated peer of mine at iHeartMedia had this idea to form a sales focused book club. For those of you in sales, you know the importance of reading books on sales to make sure you’re motivated and informed and that you keep re-inventing yourself. You know it helps to read books on self-improvement, or books on life balance and motivation. I’ve met very few sales people who don’t read books on sales, watch videos on sales, or attend workshops about selling and the sales process.
What does this at-work book club have to do with Twitter? Well, we picked a book called The Little Red Book of Selling by Jeffrey Gitomer. In it he suggests avoiding negativity and surrounding yourself with positive people and ideas and that is how I use Twitter. Think of it like this …you know you check your phone constantly. You look at Facebook. You send text messages. You check Facebook. You probably check Instagram. You check it in rush hour traffic, at the mall, waiting at stop lights, in line at the checkout, and probably sitting on your couch at night while the TV is on and your laptop is open next to you.
We’re addicted to our phones. Make that addiction count for something. Check twitter and follow things that make you smarter and motivate you, or that can give you an “a-ha moment” every now and then.
I told a guy who loved Fantasy Football to set-up his Twitter and follow everything he could find relating to the NFL, fantasy football tips, and football columnists and news sources he likes. He did. He’s a Twitter devotee. News and info come to him. He doesn’t have to go find it.
Another friend did this as it relates to TV shows and movies. Another friend did this as it relates to the automotive industry.
So, for my book club, I said, “start slow, but follow some gurus and authors you like,” and then I suggested some of the motivational type people and organizations listed below.
Here’s my initial list. You won’t be worse for starting with this list and growing from there.
https://twitter.com/ThisIsSethsBlog
https://twitter.com/TopSalesWorld
https://twitter.com/KeithRosen
https://twitter.com/lifehacker
https://twitter.com/BrendonBurchard
https://twitter.com/salesforce
https://twitter.com/SalesReadiness
Add to this list by leaving a comment. Try Twitter. Fall in love.
P.s. I’m the only male in this book club. So there’s that, too.
Where is the Starting Line?
I’m big on New Year’s Resolutions. In fact, I like resolutions so much, I invented mid-year resolutions that happen on July 1st. And last year, I even executed my first Fall Resolution which included my finding a new job and focus.
But why stop there? What about Weekly Resolutions? Or Daily Resolutions? Is there some magic to having a specific date and time where you’ll start or stop something?
Let’s say I want to start running again and my goal is to get to a point where I can “run” a 5k (as opposed to “briskly walking” a 5K due to my lung issues). Should I wait until October 1st? Or after Halloween? Or should I wait until Thanksgiving? And in the meantime, find the perfect couch-to-5K app that will track my progress and save to buy new shoes and some cool weather running gear? And map out some training routes and get a Garmin?
Or should I just start running? Run until I get winded and tired and then walk, and then try running again?
The answer is …start running. Learn better techniques and make it up as you go along. That’s what I did this morning.
How about blogging? Hey. Look what you’re reading? Guess what? I just decided to blog something. And did it.
How about blowing away your Q4 sales? How about dieting? How about forgiving a friend or relative for something? Or calling an old friend?
I was talking with my friend Nick this morning about a good closing line for a presentation I have coming up and he suggested this very thing. Don’t worry about the past. It’s past. Done. Can’t change it. And usually you can’t fix it. But you can decide, today, in this moment, to be better and do great things.
Here’s the starting line. Did you start? OK …here’s another starting line. Don’t worry if you missed it. Another starting line will be here in a second.
Start now.
A New Thing Every Day
I bought a book about a year ago – Achieve Anything in Just One Year: Be Inspired Daily to Live Your Dreams and Accomplish Your Goals. I read the first 12 chapters and then put it down. Just add me to that statistic that only a small percentage of people actually follow all the way through with any sort of self-help, weight-loss, or Ponzi scheme or program.
It’s time to pick it up again.
If I remember the basic premise, it’s going to take me a full 365 days to read it. The author (Jason Harvey) asks that you only read one chapter each day and do the assignment. That’s it.
Well, you ask, what good is that? Actually, it’s more than “good” …it’s great! It’s brilliant. And I hope I’m remembering it right. But think about it …we all make big proclamations and grand announcements about what we’re going to change and how we’re going to get better and we often do it on January 1st and make a big spectacle about it. This exercise is more self-serving than it is self-bettering (if “self bettering” is a phrase …and if it isn’t, I’m going to trademark it).
Think about it. What if you just changed one thing about yourself each day? And does it really matter when you start? In 365 days, you’d have changed 365 things about yourself. Whoa! When you look at it that way, that’s life-changing. The book, for the record, doesn’t actually suggest you “change” something every day. It’s about “taking action” every day.
Now think about this. Imagine if you were an A+ student and read the book and said, “I’m going to apply this to my work life and home life.” If you read this book and take action at work and at home, now you’re going to take over 700 actions to improve your life and “achieve anything.”
Again … whoa! But I’m a go-getter. I’m going to apply it to (a) my work life, (b) my personal life as it relates to my family, home, and friends, and (c) my new life.
What’s my “new life?” It’s not as drastic as you think …I’m not talking about becoming Batman or quitting my job and buying a boat in Key West and beginning a life as a snorkel instructor. I define (or, that is, I’m working on defining) my “new life” as the life I’m going to have where I perfectly balance my career, my family, and my hobbies and dreams while simultaneously learning how to sleep well at night, eat right, lose my beer-gut, and add years to my life. It’s part physical health and part mental-health.
I stared this little “achieve anything” concept on Monday. Anyone notice anything (other than the two straight days of new pants)? Stick around. Keep watching. You just might see something amazing and I hope to watch you do something amazing, too.
Follow me at @donkowalewski if you want to know what I’m doing every day.
Vacation Lessons
I’m fresh back from my annual week-long vacation in “Up North” Michigan where I rent a cabin with my family on Torch Lake. I’ve been renting this same cabin for, by my calculations, 13 consecutive years. I’m pretty sure I started vacationing on Torch Lake when I was six years old, and save for a few summers in the mid-90s, I’m pretty sure I just spent, what could be, my 30th or 31st summer vacationing on Torch Lake.
I still haven’t won the lottery, started a multi-million-dollar company, or figured out some other way to buy a place on Torch Lake, but that’s OK …I love my week, once a year.
My vacations on Torch have filled my brain with countless special memories and have given me some of the best moments of my life. I’ve dragged a (very) pregnant wife up to Torch, twice. I’ve vacationed with a newborn. My cousin Scott became my best-friend up there. I learned to drive a boat. I’ve run from the northern tip of Torch to the southern tip with my brother. I discovered Billy Joel on the radio up there. I learned to water ski. I’ve vacationed with friends, all my cousins, all my aunts and uncles, my brother and sister, and my father and mother. My mother’s ashes have been sprinkled onto Torch Lake. A few times this past week, I swear I could’ve closed my eyes and opened them and seen her sitting in a folding chair in the shade of the birch trees, reading a book, with a drink next to her, held up by one of those tulip topped spikes that you stick in the ground next to your beach chair.
The list could go on and on.
However, there’ll be plenty of opportunities to be melancholy and reflective. Right now, I want to quick share the big lessons I took away from vacation, this year.
1. Last year’s vacation sucked, because I hated the job I had at that time.
2. “Regret” happens and it sucks. I don’t “regret” anything this year, but last year I spent the whole week regretting things. Last year, I was deeply regretting leaving my previous career and job. it consumed me. But luckily, sitting alone and looking at the waters of Torch Lake in 2013 allowed me to make a plan. Maybe my mom’s spirit was speaking to me in 2013 and was telling me to do all the things I was thinking might make my situation better and she couldn’t wait to see me back in 2014. (yes, I truly believe I feel her spirit when I’m on the shores of Torch).
3. If you can have one crazy idea, you can have another. Last year, while at Torch, I got the crazy idea that I’d try and get hired back into radio and into the same company I had left in early 2013.
4. I sleep really, really great on vacation. Is it because I’m not staring at a glowing computer screen and because I watch minimal TV and my bio-rhythms start to function normally?
5. It’s never too late and you’re never (well, rarely) in a situation so bad you can’t fix it.
6. The water in Michigan’s big lakes is still really, really, cold.
7. I have a great wife.
8. My kids still think I’m pretty cool and they like me.
9. Every day I can spend with my family, and every year I can vacation with them, is truly a gift.
10. I can conquer the world (or at least my small part of it).
11. The waters of Torch Lake have healing properties. I healed a cold within 48 hours and without medicine.
12. I”m happy.
So, there you have it. On this night, the first night back from vacation on the eve of going back to work tomorrow, I’m happy and feel like I can do and handle anything.
Uncluttering
Every now and then, a guy like me, Mr. Inbox Zero, suddenly wakes up to find he has way too much going on and too much clutter in his life. And that “clutter” can be on my desk, in my car, in my bedroom, my garage, my yard, but most of all, in my head.
Clutter creeps up on you, little by little, and you don’t realize what’s happening until it’s too late. Keeping on top of it, daily, and making the effort, daily, is really the only way to manage it …but who does that?
Next thing you know you wake up and the trunk of your car has so much stuff in it, it looks like you’re packed for vacation, your garage has so many bikes and toys laying around, you can’t pull your car in there, you can’t see your countertop in your kitchen, and your to-do list at work looks like something you’re laying out to finish before the end of the year, and not the end of the day.
Here’s what I’m doing. Attacking the clutter as if it were my job. Why? Because when you think about it, it is my job. If I keep my sanity, and keep control, my performance in all aspects of life will improve.
Seems silly, but I’m going to start “un-subscribing” from the dozens of emails I’ve opted in to receive. I’m going to take 15-minutes each Thursday, on the eve of trash day, and just get rid of stuff in my garage and on the shelves I haven’t looked at or thought about in more than a year. Then I’ll do the same with my bookshelf.
When you have clutter, you can’t help but have a cluttered mind and it leads to stress, anxiety, and worry. Your brain can only hold about 7 or 8 things in it at a time, and it performs best when you’re limiting it to 2 or 3 things and not trying to multi-task.
Multi-tasking, by the way, is a myth. You can’t actually multi-task in your mind and you can barely do it with trivial tasks. Seriously, try cooking while talking on the phone. Tell me if at some point you don’t ask the person you’re speaking with to repeat what they just said or if your meal doesn’t come out too salty because you added salt twice.
So, today …while doing my daily tasks, I’m going to ask myself a few questions with everything I touch. Is this clutter? Do I need it, now? Will I need it, ever? And if I throw it away, will I miss it and not be able to ever get it back should I someday be asked for it? Heck, and even if it is irreplaceable, I’m going to consider taking a picture or scanning whatever it is.
It goes back to the simple “touch everything only once” philosophy. Either file it, act on it, or throw it away. Don’t move it from one spot on your desk to another. Same with household clutter. Pick it up and put it away or throw it away. No other option. Like my Mom used to say …when you see something out of place, put it away. Because the next time you see it, it won’t look so out of place. The third time you see it, it belongs there.
Good luck. Tomorrow I’ll revisit my Mid-Year Resolutions.
Follow me at @donkowalewski.
The Cold Call
Part of my job is the “cold call.” The idea of cold-calling, for many (including me), can sometimes create anxiety and fear and nervousness. We consult our cold-call tactics and techniques. We lock ourselves in a small conference room and pull the shades down. We pick up the phone as if our life depends on the next 30-seconds and it’s do or die. Either I call, establish a rapport, charm this person, ask for and appointment on such and such a day at such and such a time “if that works for them.” We’ll drive into work saying, “today is the day I’m going to make cold calls” and then we get to the office and start doing anything and everything that seems more important just to avoid that uncomfortable feeling of being hung up on, ignored, or being told, “no.”
I’ve read every book (and will read many more) I could find on cold-calling and selling and overcoming objections and it’s all useful. I’ve sat through courses and listened to webinars and watched educational videos provided by my companies over the years. I’m still looking for that magic formula that will allow me to pick up the phone, get an appointment every time, go to that appointment and show someone great ideas, and walk away with a handshake and signed agreement.
I’ll look for the rest of my life and I’m pretty sure that won’t happen.
I’m also pretty sure the “cold call” will always be what it is. Cold. Dangerous. Intrusive. And the person on the receiving end of a cold call will never actually want your call. Maybe someday they’ll want to talk to you, but not on a random Tuesday, out of the blue, when they were about to do something on their own to-do list so they can get out of work and get home and to a childs little league game.
I also don’t think business owners and decision makers take courses and read books on “how-to squash the cold-caller.” I’ve just searched Amazon …they don’t have a book for business owners on the subject. The business-owner/decision-maker is just as uncomfortable with the cold-call as the person making the cold-call.
So… the thought for today. Why not just refer to it as a “phone call.” Nothing more. Do we have to make such a big deal out of it? I have a thing or do a thing that might be something you need done or need to do. Let’s just talk about it. If someone called me today and said, “we want to sell you a lawn service for the year,” …I’d say ‘no’ I’m not interested. But if they said, “can I come to your house today and mow your lawn?” …I’d actually say ‘yes’. See, I like mowing my lawn for many reasons. I just do. Call me crazy. But this week has been busy, and it’s rained, and if someone could get to my house today and mow it, I’d happily pay.
See? I’m not never (double negative) going to say ‘yes’, but it depends on my mood and when you call.
Just call. See what happens. It might just be that simple.
Follow me @donkowalewski.
I Love Don Week, Day 5-6
This has been an eventful week, mainly because I have a whole new group of people who are now aware of “I Love Don Week.” And ya know what, I think some of them like it. Some of them think it’s the most ego-maniacal thing anyone has ever done …ever. But other people “get it.”
Did I mention previously that a generous guy I know, we’ll call him J.L., gave me tickets to Fall Out Boy on Monday. VIP seats and free parking, even. And I invited my sister at the last minute and she was able to make it, so spending an evening with my sister was a bonus gift. That was Day 4, but it happened after I had already posted and blogged my list.
Welcome, A.H., G.P., and S.A. to “I Love Don Week”. Gifts are optional, but highly encouraged. For the record, G.P. is baking something awesome for me, this evening, so she has a real shot at winning Rookie of the Year … Breakthrough Artist or something like that.
Tomorrow is the big day, but we’ll talk quick about the awesomness of “I Love Don Week” Day 5 & 6.
I’m stylin’, thanks to my wife. I got two more of those awesome Express dress shirts. I forgot to take pictures, but I will, soon. One is green and grey plaid, and the other is red and grey plaid with thing striping.
Today, I got a U.S. Soccer t-shirt …it wasn’t a jersey like I asked for, but it’s kinda better.
And everyone at work, I think, is pretty excited about it being my birthday, tomorrow.
What else, what else? Oh, yes …my Dad and Grandma Sally stopped by and gave me Maui coffee and a card with money (yes, I’m 41 and my Dad still puts money in a card for me and ya know what …it’s awesome). Funny story …he gives me money in a card, now, because many years ago my Dad took me shopping on my birthday and because I’m me, I headed straight to Nordstrom Rack and went crazy …like “Pretty Woman” crazy buying stuff and when I went to check-out, the lady at the register rang everything and then my Dad pulled out his wallet and paid for everything and the cash register lady raised her eyebrows and “smiled knowingly” and then we were like, oh, wait …I’m his son …he’s my Dad. Wipe that smile off your face.”
So …now, I get a card with money and I know exactly what I’m going to do with it. Head straight to Sur La Table at Somerset and buy some awesome grill stuff.
Bam.
Tomorrow is going to be awesome. My Facebook page is going to fill up with birthday wishes, I have a date-night planned with my wife, and who knows what else is gonna happen. I’m excited.
Thanks to everyone who’s made this a great birthday week and remember, because my birthday falls on a Friday, I’m extending the gift-giving window through Sunday. You still have time.
Hope you’ll enjoy my birthday as much as I’m going to.
Follow me at @donkowalewski.
Oh, and here’s the awesome video I shot at the FOB show. I’ll consider my blog a complete success if someone from Fall Out Boy’s camp asks me to take these videos down.
Paramore opened for FOB.
Pete Wentz gave me good advice.
Pete Wentz walks by me right after he did a number from a stage in the middle of the crowd.
Fall Out Boy’s songs know what I did in the dark.
And that’s it.
“I Love Don Week” Day 4: The List
Real quick …Day 4 got off to a great start with 3 pairs of underwear. Wait, wait, wait …I won’t be talking about my undergarments, I’m just sayin’ …I needed new underwear and got new underwear. For those following along, my “I Love Don Week” has been highlighted with a dress shirt, cheese dip, coffee beans, and underwear.
“I Love Don Week” isn’t glamorous and your gifts for me don’t have to be extravagant.
Today is Day 4 of “I Love Don Week.” You still have 2 shopping days and because I got a late start and my birthday is on a Friday this year, I’ll extend the window in which I’ll accept gifts through Sunday, July 13th.
Stumped for what to get me? Here’s this years list …
- Men’s Skechers GOWalk2 slip-ons. I’m 41. My back hurts almost anytime I move from a crouching or sitting position to a standing position. I need slip-ons. My exercise has truly become “walking” and I’m not ashamed of that (or my everexpanding forehead). Oh, but if you know of a better brand of slip-on walking shoes, be my guest and buy me those.
- Himalayan Salt Block. I got one last year from my bro and sis, and I think I didn’t care for it properly, so it cracked in half. I still use it …I use the pieces OFTEN, actually …but I’d love a new one and would take care of it even better due to the lessons I’ve learned.
- Black shorts (I don’t own a pair …I know …crazy, right?)
- Chazzano Coffee beans
- Haggar dress pants (khaki) …I have this great pair (don’t laugh …Haggar ain’t all bad) and I need more
- White, collared, USA soccer jersey
- A new pillow (I bought two cheap pillows in the last year and both are flat as pancakes …I need a nice one)
- Blazer (aka “sportcoat”) …dudes don’t wear suits as often …I have a gray blazer …I could use a classic blue blazer …like the one from J. Crew shown below.
- Barnes & Noble gift cars and iTunes cards are always nice
- Small shop-vac for cleaning the cars (the wife hates when I drag our Dyson out into the driveway)
- Large golf umbrella
- New brown dress shoes (though, I supposed I could just get my current pair re-souled)
- “Cycle of Lies” …a book about Lance Armstrong
OK. The list could go on and on. I’ll stop there (unless you demand more ideas). Thanks for all those who’ve helped make “I Love Don Week” a great week, so far.
Follow me @donkowalewski.
I Love Don Week, Day 1-3
Can you believe it’s already Day #3 of “I Love Don Week” and I haven’t posted an obnoxious blog post listing all the things on my wish-list for my birthday? Luckily, for some strange reason, my family plays along with the “I Love Don Week” concept and I’ve gotten gifts every day, starting on July 5th.
Real quick for the new blog readers …”I Love Don Week” is the run-up to my birthday, which is July 11th (if you want to put it on your calendar). For the week leading up to my birthday I get gifts and stuff every day. It’s a celebration of all things “Don.”
This year I turn 41.
I kicked things off by changing my “look” and getting a new haircut (see previous post and picture top/left). Whether I was pulling off the look I thought I was or not, I had been trying to cultivate the Brian-Williams-Tom- Brokaw -Peter-Jennings news anchor hair and with the ever expanding forehead, and thinning hair, it just wasn’t happening. So I am kicking off the 42nd year of my life with a short and neat haircut. Four days into this ‘do, and I really, really like it.
Now, onto the recap and plans for the rest of “I Love Don Week”.
Day 1 of “I Love Don Week” was the haircut (a gift to myself) and then a pound of coffee beans from a Grand Rapids roaster, ordered by my wife and delivered by my sister-in-law M.B. and her family. I enjoyed it all long-weekend long. It’s smooth …at least it was smooth Up North using well water. The flavor was distinctly different this morning back using city water. I love the subtle differences the water can have on the flavor of coffee. Oh, and my wife bought a big tub of Win Shuler’s cheese spread. I shouldn’t have this, and don’t have it often, but once a year around my birthday, my wife buys it for me and I make a pig of myself. I dip pretzels in it. Yum.
Day 2 I received decorative magnets for my cubical at work. We have fabric covered metal walls …so thumbtacks don’t work but magnets do. These are cool and thoughtful and will add a little flair to my desk.
And today …drum roll …another cool, patterned shirt from Express. I hope all the junk food I ate over the weekend will still allow me to fit into this “slim fit” shirt.
But the real gift was a nice, long weekend with my family highlighted by tons of fishing, lots of snacking, watching World Cup soccer, being with my in-laws and my nieces and nephews, fireworks (my own show and then watching a well-funded, highly explosive community fireworks display), mountain biking, and …I can’t believe I’m saying this …hanging out with my dog. I’m really starting to like this dog. Here’s the only thing I wish I could change about this dog. She’s a “flight risk.” Meaning …we can’t ever leave a door ajar without having her on a leash or bring her out in the front yard or a field with us, because she’d put her nose to the ground and be gone. This, I plan to fix.
Wow. This blog entry is jumping all over the place. Let me get to the sappy stuff.
The greatest highlight of all was my 7-year-old saying at bedtime last night that her weekend at Grandma and Grandpa’s was, “her #1 best weekend” she’s ever had up there. And as we made the four-hour drive home yesterday, I was thinking the same thing. I felt rested. I felt energized. I felt ready to take on the world. I was not dreading Monday morning and getting back to work.
That is how you execute a holiday weekend …pack everything imaginable into it …enjoy every minute you can with your loved ones or with whatever task or project and try not to let your mind wander …live in the moment …and then when you get back to work, you can live in those moments and maximize them.
Mindfulness just sorta happened for me this weekend, and I’m better today because of it. And because of the gifts. That helps.
Hope your “I Love Don Week” is going as well as mine. My full gift/wish list will be posted later. Sorry for the delay.
Follow me at @donkowalewski.
Don Kowalewski 