Don Kowalewski
Writer. Ad Sales and Marketing. Social Media Content Creator. Aeropress Coffee. Makes the best salsa in the world.
Do You Want to be Happy for the Next Three Minutes?
It’s funny how a couple of nights ago I sat through a lecture about the meaning of Advent and how it relates to the four levels of happiness. No where during this hour-and-a-half-long presentation did the speaker address where on the heirarchy something like this Boyz II Men-Fall Out Boy collaboration fits in.
I’m pretty sure it’s at a higher level than is shown on the chart above.
Enjoy.
A Holiday Memory – The Correct Way To Hang Certain Ornaments
Anyone care for a Mary Lou story?
Something’s been nagging at me, lately. I have all these memories of stuff, and I like to write, and a few people (family members) have said on more than one occasion, “you should put all those stories together and write a book.” Let me give you my two main excuses for not doing it. (1) I don’t think anyone would read a book that’s filled with 4 wedding toasts, a speech I gave in college, 5 eulogies, and then 5 or 6 stories on top of that. (2) I tend to embellish things and I would regret if my memory of something has been distorted over time and my version of the stories turn out to be only 75% accurate (or less). Not like I’m saying I’d write a story about my “Uncle Stephen” and then everyone would be like, “Don, you don’t have an Uncle Stephen.” It’s more like I’d remember a single memory and try and fill in details, but the details of a specific Thanksgiving might blend together multiple Thanksgivings and possibly a Christmas and, well, what good is a story like that?
But here’s a story I know is completely accurate. My Mom (Mary Lou, for those of you new to my blog) loved Christmas. Our house was madness. Multiple tea kettles, a snowy old-time village of miniature light-up houses all over the place, a model train that drove through that miniature village, specific mugs that only came out between Thanksgiving and replaced the every day mugs, and candles and runners, and Christmas art that replaced the year-round art on the walls and a giant Santa head that hung over our fireplace. And much . . . much . . . more.
Even my Dad got in on the act and when we moved to West Michigan. We lived in a neighborhood that prided itself on elaborate light displays. It was the type of neighborhood where, on most evenings, cars would drive through the streets at 5 miles-per-hour gazing at hundreds of houses decorated to the max. Well, coming from Sterling Heights, I seem to recall we had lights outside, but nothing like what my Dad did in Kentwood. He rigged lights that were in the shape of a two-story Christmas tree in front of our house. It was like a May Pole, but with Christmas lights.
I suppose some wives would frown on an upstairs window being ajar an inch for more than a month, allowing heat to escape and for a crazy snowy-ice-dam to form on the soffit vent and in the gutter, but for the sake of a quality outdoor light display, Mom didn’t mind.
The Mary Lou story that I’ve taken with me into my marriage (and I realize this might not be my Mom’s sole invention or theory) and am passing along to my kids is this – any glass or crystal ornament should be hung directly in front of a light on the tree. It’s imperative. When we were younger, we’d all help hang ornaments and in typical childlike fashion, every ornament was hung at the bottom of the tree, no higher than 4 feet (as high as we could reach). Then, later that evening, once we were all in bed, Mom would go to work re-arranging the ornaments to perfection. A properly ornamentized tree should be equal parts novelty ornaments, religious ornaments, meaningful souvenir ornaments (likely from an exotic travel destination), mixed with a blend of standard, solid color ornaments (in our house, it was burgundy and gold) to match the color scheme of ones home. The burgundy and gold should be a pure 50/50 mix and no single color should dominate any quadrant, nor the top-half or bottom-half. And most importantly, as I’ve mentioned, glass or crystal ornaments must be hung in front of a twinkling light to highlight them and make them shine.
I can only imagine, now, if she came to my house and saw an ornament hung incorrectly, she’d probably move some ornaments around when we weren’t looking.
She loved Christmas. I think most everyone could agree on that. Only someone who loved Christmas and celebrated it as a season of giving would spend the better part of 200 hours shopping for the perfect gifts to wrap (perfectly wrapped, I might add) under a perfectly decorated tree.
Thansk, Mom, for loving Christmas and loving us. 
A Good Ballad Can Still Be a Hit
Sometimes I wonder if we’ll never have crooners and ballads as part of the Billboard Top-40. I remember the ’80s (and early ’90s) when Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Phil Collins, Michael Bolton, Celine Dion, and Boyz II Men clogged up the Top-40 and Top-10 with huge, soaring ballads. Now? It’s all Fetty Wap and Ariana Grande.
Yes, this is the type of thing I “wonder” about when driving in my car alone. And I “wonder” …how much water is too much water and should I buy a book of crossword puzzles to help ward off Alzheimer’s?
But then, a song like Adele’s “Hello” comes along and it’s impossible not to love it. I mean it. It’s impossible. Show me someone who says, “I don’t really like Adele and don’t understand what all the hub bub is about,” and I’ll show you a damn dirty liar. It’s like when someone says they don’t care for bacon. Um. Sorry. The human taste-bud isn’t that complicated and the human taste-bud scientifically and empirically is, via evolution, designed to like salty meat. We homo-sapien human beings have only been reading, writing, farming, and speaking for about 10,000 years (actually, I’m not sure if we’ve had farming technology for 10,000 years, but whatever), and that’s not enough time for evolution to take away our animal instincts of craving meat for survival.
I’m not scientist.
Anyway …the point is …just as all humans like bacon, so too do all eardrums like Adele’s voice. Our ears like birds singing, babbling brooks, lightly falling rain, and Adele.
Ballads still have a place in this world. And sometimes, children’s instruments and Jimmy Fallon have a place in a ballad.
What Life is All About…
Wanna know what life is all about?
When I was in elementary school my parents took me out of school early on the Friday that Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom hit theaters. Could I have waited and seen a 7 o’clock show that evening? Certainly. But for this past 30 years, that was an amazing, fun memory. It’s just stuck with me. And we don’t have to argue about how Temple of Doom was cheezy and not all that great. I was in 5th Grade. Maybe 6th Grade. And I got to leave school early …on a Friday … to see a movie before anyone else.
Flash forward to 2015. Earlier this evening my son and I went down to our local theater and bought tickets for “opening day” for Star Wars. He danced when we left the theater with still forty days until we can actually see the movie. He sang the Star Wars theme song as we walked back to the car with tickets in hand. And we have tickets for the 2:30 show on Friday, December 18th. I’ll pick him up from school at 1:30 – a full two hours before his classmates will get out of school (for the Christmas break, even).
If it all goes right, whether the movie is good or bad …it’ll be a day, maybe, he’ll remember for the rest of his life as I have remembered that day all those many years ago when I was skipping out on the last few hours of school and watching Indiana Jones float down from an airplane on an inflatable boat and watching a man have his heart pulled from his chest. That kinda stuff sticks with a person. Not the heart-pulling-from-chest stuff …although that was probably the most gruesome thing I’d seen up to that point in my life.
No …what stuck with me was this …life is long, hard, and tedious at times. Remember to have fun.
If you see my boss …tell him (or her) that I have some intense sales meetings on the afternoon of December 18th. But, if you see me that Friday, you’ll see the geeky me having a ton of fun with my eleven-year-old son.
May the Force be with you.
Lung Update, or I Might Be a Hypochondriac
It’s been four years since I saw my Pulmonologist and I’ve had some ups and downs with my lungs and my coughing. I remember his words four years ago when he said, “you’ll always have this and it could get worse, but it probably won’t.” He told me to get a pneumonia shot every four years, to make sure I get a flu shot every year, and whenever I catch a cold, call him and he would call in a prescription for antibiotics.
“What about the wheezing,” I asked? He said it will happen, and will be worse in the evening. He was right.
“What about the coughing up blood,” I asked. He said that, too, will happen and as long as it’s not more than a teaspoon at a time and subsides in twelve hours, then it’s nothing to worry about. He was right, except every time it happens I can’t help but worry a little.
“What about the exercise and the 5Ks and the triathlons,” I asked. He said, hey, that’s probably not a great idea but we’re not trying to get you into that extreme shape, but try some moderate swimming and fast-walking. If you swim or walk briskly for a half-hour a day, you’ll be in the top 10% of fit and in-shape people in the U.S. and healthy. And, he said, walking is a non-impact exercise and is actually much better for you knees and back and all that. I’m sure he’s right. But it sure makes me feel like I should be busting out an A.A.R.P. card and walking around the local mall.
So today he listened to my lungs, made me do some breathing into a tube, measured my oxygen levels, listened to my chest and back, ran some tests that might prove or disprove I’m asthmatic, and did a chest X-ray. He listened to my stories and theories and symptoms and worries and said, “I think you’re fine.”
He ruled out asthma. He ruled out the night time coughing is from the bronchiectasis. He thinks it might be a post-nasal drop. He wants me to breathe into a meter three times daily and measure the strength of my breath and oxygen levels but he suspects they’ll be like it was today – perfect. He thinks my chest-pains is just from coughing and sleeping on my side – and is not my heart. Oh, yeah …he tested my heart. He wants me to take a mild Allegra at bedtime and really thinks that’s going to make a world of difference.
So, that’s it. That’s the update for those of you who were wondering, hey, what’s up with Don’s lungs. Once again I’m being told not to worry, everything looks and sounds good, and that wheezing and coughing? Try some Allegra.
I kinda hope this is one of the last times I’ll ever have to Blog about my lungs. But stay tuned. I go back in 2 months to assess the Allegra experiment.
My New Favorite Song
I don’t know anything about Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats, but imagine my surprise when I heard the song (video below) on a local alternative radio station. I wouldn’t think this song belongs on an Alt Rock station, but I’m O.K. with any station that wants to play a song this great.
Enjoy.
Hey. Sometimes my blog can just bring a smile to your face because I share something cool.
Back to the Future?
Seems fitting that I post this today, which is the actual day Marty traveled forward to in Back to the Future 2.
Fitting? Yes. Because my management team at work asked us to write a speech to ourselves, from our future self, telling our present-day-self the things our present-day-self should do now in order to end up with a successful 2016. So, it’s all about time travel.
I tried to be clever and make a David Letterman-style Top-10 List. For the younger kids on the sales staff, they might’ve not even known David Letterman invented top-10 lists and they’d think my idea was even more clever. It’s all about impressing people, right?
This top-10 list, I thought, would be funny and get a few laughs. So I came up with the following.
10 …TEN new accounts in 2016.
9 …NINE hours of work each day.
8 …EIGHT appointments weekly.
7 …SEVEN out of 10 clients returning as annuals or growing
6 …SIX multi-market closed deals!
5 …FIVE days of exercise weekly
4 …FOUR new accounts of $50K+
3 …THREE event sponsorship deals
2 …TWO new $100k annuals
1 …ONE helluva year.
But I have to admit something. It left me uninspired. Was closing with “one helluva year” going to bring the crowd to it’s feet? It felt like I was given an assignment, wrote something, and just checked another to-do off my list. My managers told me to “do this” and I did it.
Check. Task complete. Onto the next thing.
And that’s when I noticed a penny sitting next to my notebook. So random. So there. Just a penny …sitting there. And it hit me. Don! Stop going through the motions. Your future-self is trying to tell you something. He won’t inspire you and you won’t achieve great things with some lame top-10 list that’ll be forgotten the minute you get done speaking (if everyone didn’t already drift off in the middle of your speech).
The penny was a message. From my grandmother (d0 you know that story?). From my mother (another story). From my past-self (in the hospital wondering if I’d live or die) to my future-self to my current-self.
Recently, I’ve started to let the pressure and stress of my job creep into my regular life. My job is all I think about. When I drive home. When I drive to work. When I lay in bed. When I wake up at night and stare at the ceiling. When I am reading a book to my kids. When I drive on a road trip. When I walk my dog. When I’m eating a good sandwich. When I’m showering. When I’m pumping gas.
You get the point. I hired in two years ago …yes …two years, and I was reminded of that when a manager put a birthday hat on my head recently. Regretfully, I’m not the guy they hired. That guy they hired? They hired him because he had joy and enthusiasm and spirit and they hired him to bring that TO WORK EVERYDAY.
With that in mind, my future-self made a NEW top-10 list that WOULD ACTUALLY INSPIRE present-day-me. And it’s about bringing JOY and passion back to my real-life and, in turn, back to my work-life and THAT is how I’m going to attack my to-do list and make a successful 2016.
Why is my 2016 going to be successful? Here’s why . . . counted down from 10 to 1 . . .
Oh. Wait. First, let’s start with ZERO! Zero texting while driving! Zippo. Zilch.
Now, back to the top-10…
10 …TEN hugs daily (even people who aren’t “huggers”)
9 …NINE good, quality, real conversations daily …clients, friends, family, co-workers, or hell, the check-out lady at Kroger.
8 …EIGHT o’clock, at my desk, ready to work (and not talk about traffic jams or last night’s game)
7 …SEVEN hours a week writing, blogging, or making salsa and marketing it
6 …SIX o’clock, HOME! Living. Enjoying my family. To my bosses …the math works out. 8:00-5:25 is a 9 hour and 25-minute work day (with a ½ hour lunch)
5 …FIVE minutes of quiet reflection (or prayer) each day
4 …FOUR days a week of exercise (everything will be a little better if I’m healthier)
3 …THREE good, informative, client phone calls daily … Meaningful! That adds up to 150 great phone calls a year.
2 …journal or acknowledge TWO things I’m grateful for each day …or, if it’s a person, tell that person(s) I’m grateful for them
1 …it will ensure I have ONE great life and ONE great year.
And that’s it. Thanks, future-self. I needed that.
Never Give Up!
Most times I would write a full blog entry describing what I took from this video, but I’m at a loss for words. Trust me, however, the football game and MSU’s improbably victory is only a metaphor and completely minimized in the face of the real message here.
Am I Superman, Yet?
Can you believe it’s been 30 days since I declared I was going to be Superman? Well, Lex Luthor is still on the loose …if that makes sense.
But I am down two belt loops and 7 pounds and charging towards 160 and 155.
I could easily beat myself up for all the crap I haven’t done from that blog, but ya know what? Not today.
What’s that saying? “Adopt an attitude of gratitude?” Sure, I had a couple of crappy weeks at work. But in my job, “crappy weeks” weren’t the result of my getting caught embezzling from the company, and I’m not in charge and didn’t have to downsize people out of their jobs right before the holiday, and actually my “crappy week” didn’t even involve a review or performance assessment from management. I’m in sales. For the better part of 22 months, I haven’t had a “crappy week”. But as anyone in sales will tell you …crap happens. All I gotta do now is roll up my sleeves and increase my activity.
The gratitude I need to focus on was my 11-year-old son saying, “I’d like to learn to mow the lawn and would you pay me?” And as I left the house this morning, hearing him yell from the basement that he installed the latch on the bathroom basement and, “it’s working.” And now he’s thinking he might like to play Travel soccer (which is a serious decision that comes with serious commitment) and that’s pretty exciting, too.
Quick aside …I make my kids play sports to have fun. Rec league is fun and silly and gives them a chance to hang with their friends. So to hear my son say that, maybe, he’d like to get into a more serious league and learn to play better …well, that’s another growing-up moment (to go along with his handyman services and his desire to earn money helping me with the lawn each week).
Oh, and one more thing …this kid has been wanting an iPad Mini for the better part of a year and this entire year has been about watching him save. Watching him forgo certain purchase decisions in order to keep saving money for an iPad Mini, and to watch him ask for gift-cards for his birthday versus Lego sets and XBox games. I’m proud to say, this weekend, we saw the iPad Mini 2 on sale at Target and he had done the necessary planning, saving, and waiting and he’s now a proud owner of a Mini iPad. 12 months in the making.
Back to the soccer thing. Sports is different for every kid. I might remember my childhood differently, but you couldn’t keep me off a soccer field. That was my sport. Sure, I really liked basketball, but I’m short and got cut. I liked football, except for the part where people smash into me. Which is the whole part. I liked baseball, except for the part where one kid throws a ball inches from me and I’m supposed to swing a bat and hit it. Which is a big part of baseball. But I loved soccer. Not sure why I didn’t play Travel when I was a kid, but I think I would’ve liked it.
The point of all this is, overnight it’s like my little boy is growing up. Doing chores and asking for chores. When not fighting with his sisters, he’s looking after them. He’s figuring out what he likes to do. And he’s going to work hard at his chores, his schoolwork, and maybe his sports (soccer).
I’ll be in charge of pushing him and focusing him. I’ll tell him to focus and eat right and get a good nights sleep. The question becomes, will I live and embody those same messages?
I’ll tell him …be nice to your sisters. Am I respectful and loving to he and his sisters and, more than anyone, my wife?
I’ll tell him …do your chores and don’t complain. Will I hunker down at work, roll up my sleeves, and do my job and not complain?
I’ll tell him …listen to your coaches and teachers. Will I listen to my managers, bosses and my wife and parents when good advice is given me?
I’ll tell him …hey, when you get involved in all these things …soccer, school, chores …sometimes Xbox and Minecraft take a back seat. Will I prioritize and do the things I need to do and will The Daily Show, Stephen Colbert, and the MLB Playoffs take a back seat?
I’ll teach him. Will he teach me?
I like to think, yes, he will, and together we’ll win.
Attitude of gratitude? You bet! I’m grateful for that son of mine. Time to show him just how grateful I am.
Follow me at @donkowalewski.
Perfectly My Dad
Hopefully my Dad doesn’t see this (because he might think I’m making fun of him), but if he does, hopefully he knows that this is such a perfect encapsulation (is “encapsulation” a word?) of his spirit and part of why we all love him, I had to blog about it to make it a permanent memory. Back in March, he and his lady-friend (“lady-friend” is what seniors, a widow and widower in this case, call their girlfriends and boyfriends because, really, people in their 60s and 70s should have a better way to describe someone they’re dating and/or living with than “girlfriend” or “boyfriend”. And I’m glad they didn’t go with “she’s my crush”) went to Florida and my Dad is apt to check-in while traveling (ie “we’re safe in Atlanta” or “we’re hitting the road tomorrow at 6am with plans to drive straight through”). Dad likes when we kids (my brother, sister, myself and our spouses) “check-in”, and he gives us the same courtesy.
There’s a whole back story, too. On the eve of their trip, there was some weather coming. “Snow down south.” And he and Sally had been watching the weather. When I talked with my Dad the day before to say “have a good trip” he told me they were getting on the road at 4:00 a.m. Well, as it turns out, and what this email doesn’t tell you is he and Sally barely slept that night (worried about the weather) and at 2:00 a.m., both not able to sleep, they hit the road. AND THANK GOODNESS THEY DID (a little sarcasm there) because the weather was as bad (or worse) than anticipated and the email I’ve cut & pasted below, along with my Dad’s monitoring of the trucker chatter on his CB radio, confirmed the early-early (too-early) start to the trip was the best thing they could’ve done (a little sarcasm there, too).
Oh, yes. The CB radio is really the best part of this. For my entire life, my Dad travels with a CB radio and monitors the truckers because their chatter and conversations are better than any smartphone app, or map, or news and weather report on the radio. He knows where cops are and speed traps are. He knows where back-ups are (he and my mother have re-routed us off and onto highways many times in our travels based on hot-tips from truckers). Truckers can tell my Dad the exact weather at any exact moment and he loves when the truckers are talking about some reckless driver or somebody broken down on the side of the road and he can pick a new lane and avoid any slowdowns or trouble.
And I’m not “making fun” of him. I love it. Right after my wife and I got married, he bought us a CB Radio and I never used it. But damn it, now, I wish I hadn’t sold it at a garage sale. I think I’d actually use it. For good and for nostalgia and entertainment purposes.
Here’s the email.
Well, we got to Perry Georgia about 5:45 checked in and went to our favorite restaurant The Swanson. It’s a great little restaurant in a small old house and has some great southern cooking and hospitality. Not expensive and comfortable portions. We have yet to have anything we didn’t like. I had grilled pork chops and collard green soup. Not bad.We drove thru some rain and mild fog, but listening to the truckers it was hitting louisville with an inch of ice and following with 6 to 12 inches of snow. We managed to scoot south and be just ahead of itLove, Dad and Sally
Don Kowalewski 