My New Favorite Song

I don’t know anything about Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats, but imagine my surprise when I heard the song (video below) on a local alternative radio station. I wouldn’t think this song belongs on an Alt Rock station, but I’m O.K. with any station that wants to play a song this great.

Enjoy.

Hey. Sometimes my blog can just bring a smile to your face because I share something cool.

Back to the Future?

Seems fitting that I post this today, which is the actual day Marty traveled forward to in Back to the Future 2.

Fitting? Yes. Because my management team at work asked us to write a speech to ourselves, from our future self, telling our present-day-self the things our present-day-self should do now in order to end up with a successful 2016. So, it’s all about time travel.

I tried to be clever and make a David Letterman-style Top-10 List. For the younger kids on the sales staff, they might’ve not even known David Letterman invented top-10 lists and they’d think my idea was even more clever. It’s all about impressing people, right?

This top-10 list, I thought, would be funny and get a few laughs. So I came up with the following.

10 …TEN new accounts in 2016.
9 …NINE hours of work each day.
8 …EIGHT appointments weekly.
7 …SEVEN out of 10 clients returning as annuals or growing
6 …SIX multi-market closed deals!
5 …FIVE days of exercise weekly
4 …FOUR new accounts of $50K+
3 …THREE event sponsorship deals
2 …TWO new $100k annuals
1 …ONE helluva year.

But I have to admit something. It left me uninspired. Was closing with “one helluva year” going to bring the crowd to it’s feet? It felt like I was given an assignment, wrote something, and just checked another to-do off my list. My managers told me to “do this” and I did it.

Check. Task complete. Onto the next thing.

penny 2015

And that’s when I noticed a penny sitting next to my notebook. So random. So there. Just a penny …sitting there. And it hit me. Don! Stop going through the motions. Your future-self is trying to tell you something. He won’t inspire you and you won’t achieve great things with some lame top-10 list that’ll be forgotten the minute you get done speaking (if everyone didn’t already drift off in the middle of your speech).

The penny was a message. From my grandmother (d0 you know that story?). From my mother (another story). From my past-self (in the hospital wondering if I’d live or die) to my future-self to my current-self.

Recently, I’ve started to let the pressure and stress of my job creep into my regular life. My job is all I think about. When I drive home. When I drive to work. When I lay in bed. When I wake up at night and stare at the ceiling. When I am reading a book to my kids. When I drive on a road trip. When I walk my dog. When I’m eating a good sandwich. When I’m showering. When I’m pumping gas.

You get the point. I hired in two years ago …yes …two years, and I was reminded of that when a manager put a birthday hat on my head recently. Regretfully, I’m not the guy they hired. That guy they hired? They hired him because he had joy and enthusiasm and spirit and they hired him to bring that TO WORK EVERYDAY.

With that in mind, my future-self made a NEW top-10 list that WOULD ACTUALLY INSPIRE present-day-me. And it’s about bringing JOY and passion back to my real-life and, in turn, back to my work-life and THAT is how I’m going to attack my to-do list and make a successful 2016.

Why is my 2016 going to be successful? Here’s why . . . counted down from 10 to 1 . . .

Oh. Wait. First, let’s start with ZERO! Zero texting while driving! Zippo. Zilch.

Now, back to the top-10…

10 …TEN hugs daily (even people who aren’t “huggers”)
9 …NINE good, quality, real conversations daily …clients, friends, family, co-workers, or hell, the check-out lady at Kroger.
8 …EIGHT o’clock, at my desk, ready to work (and not talk about traffic jams or last night’s game)
7 …SEVEN hours a week writing, blogging, or making salsa and marketing it
6 …SIX o’clock, HOME! Living. Enjoying my family. To my bosses …the math works out. 8:00-5:25 is a 9 hour and 25-minute work day (with a ½ hour lunch)
5 …FIVE minutes of quiet reflection (or prayer) each day
4 …FOUR days a week of exercise (everything will be a little better if I’m healthier)
3 …THREE good, informative, client phone calls daily … Meaningful! That adds up to 150 great phone calls a year.
2 …journal or acknowledge TWO things I’m grateful for each day …or, if it’s a person, tell that person(s) I’m grateful for them
1 …it will ensure I have ONE great life and ONE great year.

And that’s it. Thanks, future-self. I needed that.

Never Give Up!

Most times I would write a full blog entry describing what I took from this video, but I’m at a loss for words. Trust me, however, the football game and MSU’s improbably victory is only a metaphor and completely minimized in the face of the real message here.

Am I Superman, Yet?

Can you believe it’s been 30 days since I declared I was going to be Superman? Well, Lex Luthor is still on the loose …if that makes sense.

But I am down two belt loops and 7 pounds and charging towards 160 and 155.

I could easily beat myself up for all the crap I haven’t done from that blog, but ya know what? Not today.

What’s that saying? “Adopt an attitude of gratitude?” Sure, I had a couple of crappy weeks at work. But in my job, “crappy weeks” weren’t the result of my getting caught embezzling from the company, and I’m not in charge and didn’t have to downsize people out of their jobs right before the holiday, and actually my “crappy week” didn’t even involve a review or performance assessment from management. I’m in sales. For the better part of 22 months, I haven’t had a “crappy week”. But as anyone in sales will tell you …crap happens. All I gotta do now is roll up my sleeves and increase my activity.

The gratitude I need to focus on was my 11-year-old son saying, “I’d like to learn to mow the lawn and would you pay me?” And as I left the house this morning, hearing him yell from the basement that he installed the latch on the bathroom basement and, “it’s working.” And now he’s thinking he might like to play Travel soccer (which is a serious decision that comes with serious commitment) and that’s pretty exciting, too.

Quick aside …I make my kids play sports to have fun. Rec league is fun and silly and gives them a chance to hang with their friends. So to hear my son say that, maybe, he’d like to get into a more serious league and learn to play better …well, that’s another growing-up moment (to go along with his handyman services and his desire to earn money helping me with the lawn each week).

Oh, and one more thing …this kid has been wanting an iPad Mini for the better part of a year and this entire year has been about watching him save. Watching him forgo certain purchase decisions in order to keep saving money for an iPad Mini, and to watch him ask for gift-cards for his birthday versus Lego sets and XBox games. I’m proud to say, this weekend, we saw the iPad Mini 2 on sale at Target and he had done the necessary planning, saving, and waiting and he’s now a proud owner of a Mini iPad. 12 months in the making.

Back to the soccer thing. Sports is different for every kid. I might remember my childhood differently, but you couldn’t keep me off a soccer field. That was my sport. Sure, I really liked basketball, but I’m short and got cut. I liked football, except for the part where people smash into me. Which is the whole part. I liked baseball, except for the part where one kid throws a ball inches from me and I’m supposed to swing a bat and hit it. Which is a big part of baseball. But I loved soccer. Not sure why I didn’t play Travel when I was a kid, but I think I would’ve liked it.

The point of all this is, overnight it’s like my little boy is growing up. Doing chores and asking for chores. When not fighting with his sisters, he’s looking after them. He’s figuring out what he likes to do. And he’s going to work hard at his chores, his schoolwork, and maybe his sports (soccer).

I’ll be in charge of pushing him and focusing him. I’ll tell him to focus and eat right and get a good nights sleep.  The question becomes, will I live and embody those same messages?

I’ll tell him …be nice to your sisters. Am I respectful and loving to he and his sisters and, more than anyone, my wife?

I’ll tell him …do your chores and don’t complain. Will I hunker down at work, roll up my sleeves, and do my job and not complain?

I’ll tell him …listen to your coaches and teachers. Will I listen to my managers, bosses and my wife and parents when good advice is given me?

I’ll tell him …hey, when  you get involved in all these things …soccer, school, chores …sometimes Xbox and Minecraft take a back seat. Will I prioritize and do the things I need to do and will The Daily Show, Stephen Colbert, and the MLB Playoffs take a back seat?

I’ll teach him. Will he teach me?

I like to think, yes, he will, and together we’ll win.

Attitude of gratitude? You bet! I’m grateful for that son of mine. Time to show him just how grateful I am.

Follow me at @donkowalewski.

Perfectly My Dad

Hopefully my Dad doesn’t see this (because he might think I’m making fun of him), but if he does, hopefully he knows that this is such a perfect encapsulation (is “encapsulation” a word?) of his spirit and part of why we all love him, I had to blog about it to make it a permanent memory. Back in March, he and his lady-friend (“lady-friend” is what seniors, a widow and widower in this case, call their girlfriends and boyfriends because, really, people in their 60s and 70s should have a better way to describe someone they’re dating and/or living with than “girlfriend” or “boyfriend”. And I’m glad they didn’t go with “she’s my crush”) went to Florida and my Dad is apt to check-in while traveling (ie “we’re safe in Atlanta” or “we’re hitting the road tomorrow at 6am with plans to drive straight through”). Dad likes when we kids (my brother, sister, myself and our spouses) “check-in”, and he gives us the same courtesy.

There’s a whole back story, too. On the eve of their trip, there was some weather coming. “Snow down south.” And he and Sally had been watching the weather. When I talked with my Dad the day before to say “have a good trip” he told me they were getting on the road at 4:00 a.m. Well, as it turns out, and what this email doesn’t tell you is he and Sally barely slept that night (worried about the weather) and at 2:00 a.m., both not able to sleep, they hit the road. AND THANK GOODNESS THEY DID (a little sarcasm there) because the weather was as bad (or worse) than anticipated and the email I’ve cut & pasted below, along with my Dad’s monitoring of the trucker chatter on his CB radio, confirmed the early-early (too-early) start to the trip was the best thing they could’ve done (a little sarcasm there, too).

Oh, yes. The CB radio is really the best part of this. For my entire life, my Dad travels with a CB radio and monitors the truckers because their chatter and conversations are better than any smartphone app, or map, or news and weather report on the radio. He knows where cops are and speed traps are. He knows where back-ups are (he and my mother have re-routed us off and onto highways many times in our travels based on hot-tips from truckers). Truckers can tell my Dad the exact weather at any exact moment and he loves when the truckers are talking about some reckless driver or somebody broken down on the side of the road and he can pick a new lane and avoid any slowdowns or trouble.

And I’m not “making fun” of him. I love it. Right after my wife and I got married, he bought us a CB Radio and I never used it. But damn it, now, I wish I hadn’t sold it at a garage sale. I think I’d actually use it. For good and for nostalgia and entertainment purposes.

Here’s the email.

Well, we got to Perry Georgia about 5:45 checked in and went to our favorite restaurant The Swanson.  It’s a great little restaurant in a small old house and has some great southern cooking and hospitality.  Not expensive and comfortable portions.  We have yet to have anything we didn’t like.  I had grilled pork chops and collard green soup.  Not bad.
We drove thru some rain and mild fog, but listening to the truckers it was hitting louisville with an inch of ice and following with 6 to 12 inches of snow.  We managed to scoot south and be just ahead of it
 
Love, Dad and Sally
My Dad claims, after the fact, that he purposely was over-descriptive of the food offerings as a little jab at my Aunt, and maybe in this case he was, but my Dad has absolutely spent some time talking about little places they’ve stopped to eat or places they eat at regularly. So, whether in jest or not, it’s something he does.
At any rate, that email is my Dad and it’s a great part of him and come hell or high water, someday, I’m eating at The Swanson.

I Think I Just Ended a Two Year Battle with Writer’s Block

I blog because I like to write. I’ve had blogs of all shapes and sizes for, oh, about 10 years. Yup. Believe it. My first blog was on Blogger and called “Donniego” which was “Donnie” and “Ego” combined because I thought blogging was nothing more than stroking ones own ego and I ironically acknowledge that. But, everyone thought it was “Donniego” and pronounced Don-E-aygo, like it was Spanish, and nobody really got it.

So I changed the blog and moved from Blogger to BlogSpot and started “Don’s Ego” …much easier. Except in the URL line it looked like http://www.donsego.com and, once again, everyone thought it was some sorta Mexican or Spanish slang or something. I got hateful comments and lots of comments in Spanish.

Fail.

Then I started, with some friends, spunkybean and wrote about TV shows and such. It was fun. And I started Kaleidoscopic Raygun, which was really going to be my million-dollar idea because I thought, with a name that vague yet specific, it was brilliant. Well if “kaleidoscopic” means “rarely posts” …well …nailed it!

I wrote about everything. I didn’t care. And I wrote motivational blog entries for a motivational speaker. And I wrote for a real estate guru. And I wrote a book about Coachella. And another book about working out and eating lean. And wrote for an OBGYN office, a heating and cooling company, and a home builder. And for a site that pays people to help other people populate their blog.

Basically, if you gave me a topic, I’d research and write about it.

Then I stopped. Stopped writing and couldn’t think of anything to write. And I thought my writing sucked (which is the #1 rule writers are supposed to follow …your work doesn’t suck). And I’d start. And then stop. For two years. Nothing.

But I must’ve eaten a good sandwich or finally got my meds balanced because, suddenly, I can’t stop writing. It feels great. It’s creating. It’s making me creative. I feel alive. I get my thoughts outta my head and onto the Interweb and I don’t care if its good, or bad, or anyone reads it.

Hell. I had a horrible two weeks at work and many would be like, F’ this crap. Instead, I’m like, “well …bring …it …on!” What doesn’t kill me (like a gun toting madman, or tornado, or cancer, or some other unspeakable tragedy) only makes me stronger. Time to put up or shut up. And, hey, even if it looks like I have a few bad months ahead of me …it’s not going to last forever. And you know how I know that to be true? Because …I just wrote it.

If you like this blog and me writing about myself, keep checking back. Maybe some of me will sound like you and my writing will connect. Maybe not and you’ll laugh at me. But …please read. Comment. Hang out. Try my salsa.

Thanks for reading.

Always Searching for the Next Perfect Breakfast

My breakfast is usually the following:

  • 1/2 cup warm water
  • 1 tsp Macca powder
  • 1 tsp Chia seeds
  • 1 scoop Green Vibrance
  • 1 tbl spoon apple cider vinegar
  • 1 tbl spoon melted coconut oil
  • 1 tbl spoon melted grass fed Kerrygold butter

And I use it to wash down 200mg magnesium tablet and a baby aspirin. And then I enjoy a cuppa coffee.

Is it balanced? Does it lack protein? Does it taste good?

Other days, I’ll have an egg and diced spinach (and sometimes some lean turkey sausage).

But I’ll try this granola dust – soon.

Things I’m Doing: 30-Days to Superman

When did this happen? I suddenly am tipping the bathroom scale at 171 pounds, I get winded going up one flight of stairs, am struggling to fit into my 32-waist pants, and I’m on the last hole on my belt (I had been at the 3rd hole). I still don’t sleep as well as I’d like, I’m not writing, I’m not making and selling salsa, and my car is messy. My carpel tunnel is really bad in my right hand, probably because of my new laptop and the touch-pad mouse.

I gotta get right. I gotta get up early and get walking and then migrating that into true, heart-pumping, muscle-building exercise.

I gotta stop eating after dinner. Hell, I am so determined sometimes to stay-awake, eating is really just the tool I use to keep myself awake. I’m proud to say I’ve never fallen asleep while chewing. Big accomplishment, right?

I’m going to use a mouse when using my laptop, and use it with my left hand.

I’m going to stop “sneaking” off for fast-food at lunch and stop justifying it by calling it “carb loading” for a workout I don’t ever get to.

I’m going to drink more water.

I’m going to plan my meals and make sure they’re rich on protein and leafy greens, and less filled with carbohydrates.

It’s back-to-school season. It’s as good a time as any to turn over a new leaf.

I’m going to blog everyday because (a) I enjoy it and (b) I’m an egomaniac who thrives off people reading the things I write and having them say “well said” or “great post” or “very funny.”

I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but I’m going to do it.

I’m going to say interesting things on YouTube, too …to go with my blog.

I’m going to research HGH (Human Growth Hormone) and if it’s not illegal or it doesn’t have adverse health effects, I’m going to look into it.

And how do I figure out what my “percent body fat” is? Because if I can lose weight (get myself to 155 in a healthy way and tone my muscles), I’m going to buy a new, hipster suit.

OK. There’s more on my list, but even as public as I am about things, there’s a few things on the list I won’t write about here on the blog. But there’s more.

Ready. Set. Go.

 

Can’t Unsee This

i want to hate Tom Cruise, but I can’t (feel my face).

http://youtu.be/CW1_dUBzJV8

Things I Love: My Wife

me and kathy 1

Happy_New_Year.JPG*** Warning *** *** Cheese and sentiment to follow ***

Mostly I blog about myself. Or I blog about things that interest me (coffee, things I buy, coffee techniques, cool stuff I find and rave about, etc). And this isn’t really any different, but it’s a little different.

Today’s my wife’s birthday. I’ve been lucky to celebrate 23 of those birthdays with her. Meaning, we’ve been together a long time, and what an amazing time it’s been!

Let me start with …HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

I blog about my Bogs and my Bedphones, sure, but if you took those things away from me, I’d survive. Yes. I’d have wet feet on my morning walk when it rains or snows. And I’d have some trouble falling back to sleep when I wake at 2:00 a.m. But if you took away Kathy (that’s my wife’s name) from me, I wouldn’t be able to walk at all and I’d probably never sleep. I’d be a ship without a rudder. A car without a steering wheel. An empty vessel.

Kathy keeps it all together. I have three great kids, which I would20130806-093811.jpgn’t have without her, and they’re pretty good kids and Kathy deserves 70% of the credit for that. She keeps the house running. She makes sure dentist and doctor appointments happen, that everyone gets signed up for everything they need to do, be it school, dance, sports, or whatever. She does the grocery shopping so we don’t eat Jimmy John’s every night. She makes sure the kids have shoes and clothes and clean clothes (sometimes folded and put away), and packs lunches and makes dinner and plans play-dates and sleepovers and all the kids’s birthday parties and, really, all our parties.

Just a quick aside on parties . . . I always have ideas like this, “hey, let’s have people over. I’ll cook ribs.” Cooking ribs is not “having a party” …it’s cooking ribs. Period. Apparently there needs to be plates, drinks, cups, side dishes, emails and texts sent to organize and then, based on head count, decide on the right amount of food and apparently, this costs money . . . so when I dream up the idea of having people over, all I’m really doing is giving Kathy another big planning project.

Kathy handles all our finances, too. Oh, and she recently added a full-time job to the mix.

She’s everything to all of us and when it’s her birthday (or birthday week) she usually asks, “don’t spend alotta money. I don’t really need anything.” Smart. Balanced. Unlike me and my obnoxious “I Love Don Week” annual spectacle.

This essay on all that Kathy does for the family could ramble on. I’m missing things, I’m sure. Like that everything she bakes is incredible (and it’s why I can’t ever lose these last 10 pounds) and she’s an amazing daughter to her parents and I hope like crazy my own daughters are watching so that when I’m old and grey, they bring the grand kids around and cook me food. I’d like to also think my dad enjoys calling Kathy his daughter-in-law . . .except when they might play a board game together. But …ahem …this isn’t that kinda blog entry.

Everything I’ve said so far is great. But as I opened with, this is my blog and my blog is about me. Let’s talk about how my wife is a blessing to me. I’ve said it many times to many people, Kathy is responsible for me. My parents did the work and heavy-lifting for the first 19 years of my life, and then came Kathy. Loves me unconditionally, I know, because I give her plenty of conditions where some might say I am “un-lovable.” She makes me want to be my best. She listens and lives with my crazy ideas, plans and schemes and sometimes, smartly, squashes them, and sometimes fixes them and makes them work. She holds me to a higher standard for myself than I would if left to my own devices. She’s beautiful. In fact, she’s far more beautiful today than she was 23 years ago when I met her. She makes me a better person every single day (and I’m not sure I return the favor). 10990621_347220702129815_1061918557_nShe believes in me when I don’t believe in myself. She cooks me food and baked goods (I mentioned that, right?). She makes me want to learn to play the guitar and take voice lessons so I can write and sing her a song. She’s the lady I’d like to take to dinner, tomorrow. She’s the love of my life and I hope she can sense how much I love her every night when she’s reading on her iPad in bed and I’m listening to a Podcast and flipping through a magazine and we’re not talking and I drift off to sleep. Romantic, right? Was talking with good-friend M.B. yesterday and hilariously (or not so hilariously), he kinda said the same thing about he and his wife – life is good, life is busy, and life is full of many blessings, but maybe at times our spouses are taken for granted a bit.

I have this blog entry. I tell you how great my wife is and that you should wish her a happy birthday. And yet, we live together, and maybe I don’t say it enough . . . or show it enough. I bought her a folding bag-chair, a new water bottle, flowers, and a jewelry holder. And tomorrow we’ll go out for a nice dinner. But what I’m going to really give her is more love – because she deserves it. On my birthday, or Christmas, and all other days, she’s the best gift I’ve ever received. Time for me to be the best gift she’s ever received.

And there you have it …the Kathy Birthday Manifesto. I could write a book about this amazing lady. I’ll end with this – happy birthday and I love you*.

* “you” referred to Kathy, but, OK …if you’re reading this, I thank you and love you, too.