Don Kowalewski
Writer. Ad Sales and Marketing. Social Media Content Creator. Aeropress Coffee. Makes the best salsa in the world.
Things I Think: You’re Not Doing Anything Until You’re Doing Something
If you have a great idea for a book, but haven’t written a book, you don’t have a book.
If you have a great idea for a business, but haven’t outlined a business plan and started checking things off a list, you don’t have a business.
Until you put your foot on the base of Mt. Everest and then start walking upward, you’re not climbing Mt. Everest.
If you really love your wife, and you don’t tell her (and show her) you love her, you don’t love her.
If you really want to lose weight, but are sitting watching TV, you’re fat.
I talked to a guy today who wants to write a book. He really wants to write a book and he’s cobbled together a boat load of his blog entries, Facebook posts, his Tweets, documents, and articles clipped from the paper. He’s been working on this for four years. Someone told someone told someone that I could help him. And I will.
His book and his story is amazing. But more amazing is he wasn’t just sitting there, watching TV, saying to himself, “ooooh, I wish I could write a book.” He was doing something. He could, for the last four years, look people in the eye and say, “I’m writing a book.” Because that’s exactly what he was doing. He didn’t quit his job, rent a cabin in the Colorado mountains, buy himself expensive coffee, and wait for the perfect writing conditions to happen …he just kept doing little things, moving it forward.
Between me and you, he’s got the book pretty much written. It just needs a little spit shining.
His latest “little thing” was to talk with me. He has either (a) the most shocking, crude, and bare bones tell-all book that will trash all the people who’ve done him wrong over these past four years or (b) we’ll write an incredible novel, based on a true story, that will make people shake their head and say, “there is noooooo way that happened.”
I hope I get to write it, either way. Because if I do, I’ll be doing something.
It’s about stories. Tell stories. Help people tell their story. Tell your story.
My more boring stories, like what I saw while sitting at a red light, is updated all the time at @donkowalewski.
Things I Did: Guest Blogged at MomRunsHalf
If you came here looking for something funny, inspiring, or relating to One Direction, you’ll have to check back tomorrow. Tomorrow I’m going to introduce the concept of a “Fight Club Resume.” Oh …make no mistake. You’ll want to check back and see what I mean by that.
For today, however, I’m going to redirect you and ask you to read my sister’s blog, MomRunsHalf, because I wrote a guest post for her (only two weeks too late) and she posted it. I’m flattered.
“Ask yourself, what’s in my way? And then walk around it.” -Me
It’s a tale I’ve told a hundred times, but it bears repeating. I’ve seen the lowest low, and I forget how lucky I am despite a few set-backs. What I try to explain on that blog is that “fear” isn’t really what holds us back, it’s just something we make up as an excuse for not doing something. As I blogged about last week, a dream of “playing point-guard in the NBA” isn’t a real dream for a 40-year-old guy like me who stands all of 5’5″. Sitting around being sad about the fact I’ll never play point-guard in the NBA is just stupid. Because I’m not honestly defining my dream. I need to make my dream a “goal.” It’s not that I actually want to play point-guard in the NBA, but that I love and want to play basketball. Period. I could coach. I could join a rec league. I could go to the open gym by my house every Tuesday or the open gym at my kids’s school and play pick-up basketball.
It bears repeating …are you dreaming too big just so you can convince yourself your dream is impossible?
I want to be best-selling author = I want to write and I have a story to tell.
I want to be a chef at the hottest restaurant in New York = I want to cook.
I could keep listing things. Our “dreams” might or might not come true. But we can achieve all our “goals.” We can “do anything” we want. Play basketball. Write. Cook. Play guitar.
Again, my story is on full display at MomRunsHalf. Please read it and tell me what you think. And check back to my sister’s blog every now and again, because she’s interesting, has recipes and stuff, and auditions all sorts of running and exercise products.
You can always reach me on Twitter, because I love Twitter like a member of my family. I’m @donkowalewski. ‘Follow’ me. I’ll follow you back.
Things I Wonder: What To Do with Endless Possibilities?
We all understand the world is full of endless opportunities, right? Nowadays, there’s hardly an idea too big to dream? I’ve come to grips I’ll never play point-guard in the NBA, mind you, but I’m not willing to concede I can’t be a mini-salsa mogul, that I can’t write a few books (and maybe some will sell), and that I can’t turn my writing “hobby” into an “income.”
Knowing that you can have multiple dreams and projects going simultaneously, and each has no ceiling in sight, what do you do with those endless possibilities?
Think of your life as a to-do list. You and I make “to-do lists” at work, yes? We make them for projects we need to get done around the house, right? Or we make a packing list before going somewhere. We make the list, we check-off items, and we work until the to-do’s are done.
Make a to-do list for your life (but please don’t call it a “bucket list” if you’re under the age of 60, OK?).
Now, the rest is simple. Start checking things off.
Things I Love: Other Bloggers
You’ve heard of “Follow Friday” on Twitter, right? For those unfamiliar with Twitter, “Follow Friday” is your chance to share with other people on Twitter your favorite Tweeters. Maybe you love your fitness coach, your OB-GYN office, or your home builder and you really enjoy their Tweets. Maybe you don’t reTweet stuff, often, but you really look forward to certain Tweets for whatever reason. Perhaps your favorite person on Twitter sends out some great parenting or health tips. Maybe someone else Tweets out clever quotes? Basically, for whatever reason you like following a particular person or brand on Twitter, you Tweet out to your followers a message with hashtag-FF (#FF) and because these people follow you, maybe they’ll follow your friend or your favorite Tweeter.
It’s a great courtesy. And just because I decide on one particular Friday to #FF (follow-Friday) three or four Mommy Bloggers that my sister follows, it doesn’t mean I have to follow them forever. However, maybe I’ll find these new Tweeters interesting or funny, or they’ll have a really creative blog, which is exactly the type of person I like to follow on Twitter.
Does this make sense to those of you who’d never heard of it? For those of you familiar with the #FF thing, did I explain it right?
Anyway, each Sunday, I’m going to start my own awesome tradition …”Share it Sunday.” I write for 5 blogs, and follow dozens of others, and read all different blogs all the time. It’s inspiring. Sometimes you sit there blogging and wonder, “why am I doing this? who cares? nobody reads, anyway.” But remember, you’re probably not blogging in order to get 100,000 readers. You’re blogging because you (a) love writing and (b) love whatever topic you happen to be writing about.
I love when I see people telling others about their passion.
Without further ado, here are the three best blogs I read this week.
This is my sister. Even if she wasn’t my sister, I think I’d love her blog. Maybe I don’t try any of the recipes, and maybe I can’t run 1,000 miles each week like she does, but it’s fun to see what motivates her and keeps her running and eating healthy. As far as a Mom Blog goes, hers is exactly what a Mom Blog should look like and sound like. She’s cool because she said at the beginning of the year she was going to start blogging, and unlike so many people who start and then sputter out, she’s there every dang day.
I met Kurt at a bloggers club here in Detroit. I love his blog because sometimes I forget about certain bands I have hidden away in my massive collection of MP3s and this guy reminds me to, hey, listen to some Buddy Guy or, hey, I’ve never heard of Cherie Currie, and then I got check ’em out on YouTube. Occasionally, I actually go and buy their music. Plus, it’s nice to see a guy like me, in his 40s, who refuses to grow up and become lame and boring.
I’ve been writing various stuff for 6 years. My writing is on again, off again, at times, but when I ran across Rochelle Melander, aka The Write Now Coach, I started writing more consistently, writing without fear, experimenting a little more, and basically with a ton more inspiration. She’s there in my email every week with tips and advice, she does monthly interviews with authors and writers who, I feel, are just like you and me. It’s part of her Always Write! series. Visit her site and you can listen to many archived interviews. If you want to write, and maybe you need help, check her out.
There you have it. Is it a cop out for a Sunday blog entry? Is it a shameless attempt to have other bloggers talk about me, or share my work? Is it a veiled lesson to my writing clients about how to use Twitter?
All of the above. Thanks for reading. Your readership inspires me. And if you wished you knew what I eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, then you should follow @donkowalewski.
Things I Love: Anticipation
Last night right at bedtime, my daughter’s iTouch started blowing up with quick hits from her friends that the teacher lists were posted and everyone was declaring which teacher they would have for the 2013-14 school year. She came running down from her bedroom (where she should’ve been fast asleep) saying, “so-and-so has so-and-so as a teacher,” and, “this person has this person,” (I’m leaving off names to protect the innocent).
My wife got just as excited and within moments our living room resembled the MSNBC newsroom on an election night, with text messages and emails flying back and forth, sticky notes on the walls tracking who had who as a teacher, and my 3rd grade son and his friend were brought into the mix. There were reasons to dance and high-five (the discovery a good friend had the same teacher), and some other reasons to reflect on what could’ve been (a friend was given another teacher).
Overall, it was exciting, I have to admit. I had to play the role of “Dad” and pretend to believe “all the teachers are good” and “I don’t think I really care if your BFF isn’t in your class, I send you there to learn and not hang out with your friends,” but deep down, the excitement was contagious and I was reminded what excitement for the future looks like. I was no different as a kid …once I heard the class lists were taped up on the door of my school, I’d haul ass on my bike up there to look. Heck, I might’ve ridden up there more than once, just because.
Anticipation is a powerful emotion for motivation. Christmas morning breeds buckets full of anticipation. The night before a great vacation brings anticipation.
What follows anticipation? That’s the thing …nobody knows. Anticipating who your teacher is and who’s in your class happens when you don’t know what’s going to happen, and you dream and wonder. Will that trip to Maui or Disney World be the greatest thing you’ll ever do in life, or will the airlines lose your bags and will it be 100-degrees in Orlando? Will your BFF be in your class, and will you both have the “nice teacher”, or will you be split up?
A life full of anticipation should tell us something – life is full of unknowns. The “unknown” breeds anticipation. Will this new job be my golden ticket? Will this conversation with this very beautiful woman lead to love, romance, and a magical life together. Will writing and finishing that book idea lead to a best-seller?
Truth is, we don’t know, and when we can’t bring ourselves to deal with anticipation, it is only then that we fail. My kids will have a great school year, and it doesn’t matter their teacher or who’s in their class. Christmas morning will be great even if there isn’t a puppy under the tree, yet again. As the wise father, I know this when it comes to my kids. But do I know it for myself?
I’ll never “anticipate” what a publisher or editor will say about my book(s ) until I actually finish it. I’ll never know if the 8 or 10 writing projects I want to try will succeed until I actually pick up the phone and call.
It’s time I start putting myself into situations where I create anticipation. How about you?
I keep asking for people to keep in touch with me over on that thar Twitter. Will you meet me there? @donkowalewski is my handle. Or ‘Like’ my Facebook Page.
Thanks for reading.
Things I Will Do: Write a Manifesto
I’m a little slow, so I only recently saw the Holstee Manifesto. The story goes (as I remember it from skimming an article briefly, yesterday, or maybe it was a Tweet with a link) these three friends were fed up with the corporate world and were going to start their own company, doing something, but before they did that, they sat outside on a bench near Grand Central Station and made sure they were all on the same page, philosophically. So they wrote the thing I embedded at the bottom.
It got me thinking …I need a manifesto.
man·i·fes·to [man-uh-fes-toh]
noun
a public declaration of intentions, opinions, objectives, or motives, as one issued by a government, sovereign, or organization.
Writing a manifesto is not as easy as you think. I’ve had to cross out things like, “I’m going to play NHL ’94 on Sega Genesis with my college friends for, at least, 2 hours each day,” and, “Double Stuff Oreos are the perfect food for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a late night snack.” Trust me, they were out of place. You’ll see when I post my manifesto.
Have you ever thought of writing a manifesto? Or have you ever written your obituary or the words you want on your tombstone and worked your way back to where you are, now? That’s another popular idea with the self-help folks. If you’ve got nothing to do this weekend, why not give it a try? Once you weed out the Sega Genesis and Oreo stuff, you’ll probably be pretty amazed at what’s left over and what’s really in your heart and soul.
Things I’m Doing: Making Donnie Jalapeno Salsa, Again!
Get excited.
Donnie Jalapeno Salsa RIDES AGAIN!
It’s August in Michigan. The farmer’s markets are bursting with fresh Michigan grown onions, roma tomatoes, cilantro, and all the other yummy ingredients needed for what I believe is the absolute perfect salsa. At least 27 people agree with me.
So. If you want some salsa, leave a comment, hit @donniejalapeno or @donkowalewski on Twitter, comment on any of my Facebook posts, or email me.
You might ask …where have you been? Well, it’s a funny story. There was this thing, called “my free time” and I was sorta missing it. I know, that doesn’t make me sound much like an entrepreneur, but I wasn’t able to strike a good work-work-side-job-work-life- faith-family balance. So I stopped staying up until all hours making salsa.
However, people have kept asking, “when are you making salsa again?” And they keep asking. Which is totally flattering and I just made some for my family when we went on vacation, and for my sister when she had a party recently, and people still love it.
And I still love it. And I love making it. And I love starting sentences with the word “and.”
Donnie Jalapeno is back. The orders are already rolling in and I LOVE IT! (have I mentioned I love it?)
Again, there’s a dozen different ways you can order yours …you might have to pick it up (or meet me somewhere not far from my house …I’m at the Maple/Lahser or Maple/Telegraph area). It’s sooooo good, you know it’s worth the drive.
PLACE YOUR ORDER by email, calling me, texting me, writing on my Wall on Facebook, Tweeting at me (see above), or grab my arm when you pass me in the street.
Flavors = Hot!, Original, and Mild.
$5 for 16 ounces, $9 for 32 ounces.
For those who’ve never had Donnie Jalapeno Salsa, trust me. The discovery of the perfect salsa was a labor of love. Think of the best salsa you’e ever had at a restaurant, and the best you’ve ever had from a store, and that great salsa you once had on vacation in Mexico.
It’s all that combined, but only better.
I’m making salsa next week on August 22nd (it’s a Thursday) for Friday pick-up/delivery and again August 23rd (Friday) for Saturday & Sunday pick-up and delivery.
Then the next week I’ll be making salsa on Wednesday 8/28 and Thursday 8/29 for Friday pick-up delivery and so you’ll have it for whatever your doing on Labor Day.
Viva la Donnie Jalapeno!
Let’s Tweet back and forth about my salsa @donkowalewski.
Things I Have: Goals and Dreams
I’ve been reading (listening to) Peter Walsh’s Lighten Up, as I think I’ve mentioned a few times here. I’m on my second listen, in fact. I’ve asked (am forcing) my wife to read it. She picked up on one of his themes …dreams versus goals. She and I talked a little about them, and differentiating the two isn’t exactly easy.
Why?
I think it’s because sometimes a dream can start as a pipe-dream (something that could NEVER happen), but can evolve into a regular dream (something that COULD happen and some other people are doing it). Then, some “dreams” suddenly become ideas that need plans because they don’t seem all that far fetched and before you know it …poof …a dream has transformed itself into a goal and you had darn well better start taking steps toward that goal or you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life.
Here’s a ridiculous “dream”: Someday I’m going to play point guard for an NBA team.
Why is that ridiculous? Because I’m 5’5″, I’m 40 years old, and I’ve never really played organized or competitive basketball. However, I love basketball. I love the NBA (not really, I mean, I used to, but the NBA is pretty boring, but still …playing point guard on an NBA team is about as outlandish a goal as I can come up with). Is my dream really to somehow be a part of the NBA, to work for a team, or the NBA itself? I’ll bet they have a careers section on their website if I looked. Or is my “dream” to play point guard and some basketball, for fun? Either way, the “dream” can suddenly adjust, be tweaked, and now either of those outlandish ideas can become “goals.”
I could coach a youth basketball team. Volunteer at a basketball camp by my house. Apply to be an assistant coach somewhere at a small local university or college. I could start a blog about basketball. I could join a team looking for players in a beer league, for starters. The list goes on and on.
If you have “dreams”, find a way to turn them into “goals.” My buddy Dennis suggested this road map for my “dreams”, recently. He suggested that today, I think of something I can do to forward my new business (write an email to someone, call someone, incorporate myself, sketch a business plan, created a list of potential customers, etc.). Or think of 3 things I can do by the end of the week and then do all of them by the end of the week. Then think of 5 things I can do in August and then do them all.
He’s 100% right. If you told me three years ago that by the end of 2013 I’d have four writing clients who pay me to write for them, and that I’d have a portfolio and writing resume that features a full length concert guide (book), multiple blogs, and various other articles, I’d have said, “oh, right, and maybe I’ll play point guard in the NBA someday, too.”
Dreams can become goals.
If you like Twitter and want to know when I think of something clever in the middle of the day, I’m at @donkowalewski.
Things I’m Doing: Making a Brand New Ending
I’m writing on the blog today to let you know I’m not writing on the blog today. How’s that for a riddle? People keep blogs for all sorts of reasons. This blog here? I’m going to journal my next 30-, 60-, and 90- days, my next six months, and all the months I’ll need to make it as a writer.
When you think about it, because I have a blog and a few writing clients, I’m already, technically, a writer. But you and I both know what I mean. I mean, I’m not yet a guy sitting in a coffee shop in Key West, plunking away on my Macbook secretly “making a living” writing articles for my clients, chapters for my next book, and asking other speakers, celebrities, and personalities if I can’t also write for them.
Yes. That’s the goal. Take the family to Key West. They go off and do Key West tourist-type stuff. I find a coffee place that serves dried bananas with my coffee. And I’m “at the office.”
It’s going to happen. My journey started Saturday morning after meeting with the way-smart D.J. Its’ funny …well, sad, actually …that he spelled it out so perfectly. I’m the only one who doesn’t believe in me.
#AmWriting #IBelieveInMe
“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” -Carl Bard
“Take time to reflect on your story–the story of your life. If not you may lose the thread of your life, your source of identity, and your purpose.” -Mustard Seeds
Also, I’ve kept a journal off and on since I was in high school. I usually used a typical spiral notebook or a composition journal, even though I knew Moleskins were the true, artsy, gold-standard. Lo and behold, Moleskin has a free app for iPad (and iPhone) and its brilliant and makes me feel snobby. I love it.
Things I Do: Wash My Cars and Mow My Lawn
What’s a “chore” if you don’t actually dread doing it? My wife would tell you its a mental problem. For me, there’s something very relaxing about mowing the lawn, pulling weeds a little as I go, and taking great care to make sure the edging looks clean. Is it escapism? Is it pride? Is it because I’m cheap? I won’t say it’s one of those, “if you want a job done right, you have to do it yourself,” type things, because my lawn is certainly not a work of art (I follow a simple weed n feed schedule and struggle with summer blight and crab grass every damn year).
Definitely, I’m cheap. I still can’t bring myself to pay someone $30 for an hours worth of work, even if the trade off is recapturing an hour and a half of my time. Wait …let’s call it “fiscally responsible.” Maybe it’s because I was raised by a guy who always mowed his own lawn and had an incredible lawn. Like, perfect. He never outwardly obsessed over it, but my Dad had an amazing lawn. In fact, when we moved, he seeded our new lawn himself …and he did it without and underground sprinkler system. Now that I think back on that, that might be one of the most amazing things he ever did.
Yikes. Have you ever gotten elbow deep into a blog entry and forgot where the heck you were heading with it and the point you were trying to make?
I think I’m asking …do I mow my own lawn and wash, vacuum, and detail my own car because I’m cheap, because I’m fiscally responsible, or because it’s yet another “chore” I can do that allows me to escape and daydream? And if it’s the third reason, is that a bad thing?
No doubt, my kids will always start helping me wash the car, so it’s good bonding (but they get bored at about the 10-minute mark). When they see me mowing the lawn, I think its good for them to see me working and taking pride in my house, and they help by picking up sticks when I ask, or sweeping the clippings off the driveway. I tell myself that, if they don’t grow up to have Bill Gates’s or Lebron James’s bank accounts, they’ll remember, hey, they grew up without a lawn service, without weekly trips to Jax Car Wash, without a cleaning lady, and with parents who clipped coupons and took them to the cheap movie theater and snuck candy in that was purchased at the discount pharmacy around the corner?
That’s what I saw growing up, and I turned out all right(ish).
This week we started “chores”, “jobs”, and will begin paying out weekly allowances to all the kids, and maybe this will all reveal itself to be a genius master plan. Thoughts? That’s another blog entry.
I don’t know about you, but washing the car with the Tigers game blaring from the radio speakers on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon (minus the timeless voice of Ernie Harwell of course) is a vivid and beautiful memory of my Dad – or while he was tinkering in the garage on his work bench, or fixing something, or changing the oil on our cars. His lawns …again …another great memory and, in the case of the new lawn I mentioned above, amazement. So, while I’m not actively engaged with my kids while doing this stuff, and they simply ride back and forth in the street on their bikes while I mow, or they run around in the fresh cut lawn, or play in the yard while I mow, I’m there. Should I feel bad? Or is that almost as good as if I hired someone to cut the lawn and used that hour, instead, to ride my bike with them, or throw the football around?
For now, I’m going to keep washing my car, mowing my lawn, and doing my own landscaping, hedge trimming, gutter cleaning, and house washing …because I enjoy it. And maybe someday I’ll figure out why, exactly.
Do you like Twitter? Cuz I do. And I’m always around @donkowalewski.
Don Kowalewski 