The 2019 Christmas List

The snow came early in Michigan, and so too will my Christmas list.

Let’s get one thing straight …I don’t do this for me. I do it for you. I also do it because it annoys (and amuses) my wife. It helps my wife get me the perfect gift (I know how she likely stresses over that). My Christmas wish-list celebrates the holiday spirit of giving, and I know how hard it can be sometimes to know exactly what to give others. I make it easy.

What do you get for the man who has everything? I don’t know. I ain’t that man.

We’re living in a material world, and I am a material man.

Rest assured, none of the products below sponsor me or this Blog, so my list is completely non-biased. Items like the Sorel boots are born of a loyalty for a product that lasted forever and always kept my feet dry and warm. The blue light blocking glasses by TrueDark are well researched and considered the best on the market.

So, without further ado, the tradition continues and I give you my 2019 Christmas Wish-List…

Hollar if you need my shipping address.

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Let’s Play Snow-Day or No-Snow-Day!

It’s time for everyone’s favorite new game show (queue snappy 70s disco music) …

Snow-Day or No-Snow-Day!!!

snow_day_or_no_snow_day

You all know how to play, but for those playing at home, here are the rules…

First, you start to get texts from friends and co-Teachers (I’m married to a teacher, and teachers take this Snow-Day shit way more serious than kids) saying, “have you seen the weather.” Then, you open your Weather.com App and compare it to the Accuweather App, and then you keep texting back-and-forth to make sure what you’re seeing on your App is what everyone else is seeing. You start to check the local TV station websites for up to the minute school-closing lists and for some weatherman to tell you what you already saw on your weather App.

I do none of this because I have a job where they don’t give us snow-days and I take a little delight in telling my entire family that I don’t think they’ll have a snow day. I’m a jerk.

Then, if you’re not bitter and not me, you start hoping for that phone to ring and the automated voice to tell you, “due to inclement weather, School-You-Go-To is closed,” and you wait …and wait, and wait.

Side note …I mean, it’s great that schools can robocall their entire staff and student body, but when a Principal can, essentially, play God and cancel school, he or she should really have some fun with it. I think the Principal should first make a fake-call and say something like, “hi, this is your Principal, and the weather looks grim so, for tomorrow, School-You-Go-To might be closed. Stay close to your phone and put those pajamas on backward. And now, here’s my favorite passage from Old Man and the Sea … everything about him was old except his eyes and they were the same color as the sea and were cheerful and undefeated.”

Add a little flare, right?

That robocall-thing is a cool modern aspect of the Snow-Day or No-Snow-Day game show. In my day, we didn’t get phone calls. We listened to the News radio station and watched TV. The only time the phone rang was when another Mom would hear from a teacher who heard from the neighbor of the Superintendent that school was officially canceled.

Another modern snow-day tracking thing is the Snow Day Calculator App which allows you to enter your zip code, school, city, and the level at which you believe in a higher power,  and the App will spit out the mathematical likelihood that you’ll have a Snow-Day. At the time I write this Blog, there’re 7-inches of snow on the ground in suburban Detroit and another 2 inches will fall by midnight, and Snow Day Calculator says there’s an 80% chance my kids (and wife) will not have school.

Oh, and your school will always be the last one cancelled and as you see schools and districts around you canceling school and you’re still open, you’ll badmouth that school and those people in that city as being soft and weak until your school gets canceled and only then will you concede the storm is actually bad enough that it could jeopardize safety …before that moment, everyone else was overly precautious.

When school is finally canceled, there is joy, dancing, screaming, and drinking (hot cocoa for my kids, wine for my wife). Even though everyone knows all at once, all at the same time, and every phone in our house, including the landline we forgot we had, all ring to robocall the good news, every kid and teacher-wife need to text all their friends and co-teachers to confirm it’s really, really true.

And then everyone immediately begins tracking the likelihood that the next day will be canceled, too.

Oh, another part of this is old-guys like me, and often grandparents and people without kids, will all  reminisce about how kids-these-days are snowflakes and wimpy and, “in my day they never canceled school,” and maybe that’s true, but don’t all old-people and parents want a better life for their children and grandchildren than they had? Well, more snow-days for lesser-reasons is that better-life you wished for.

Stop complaining. Build a snowman. Go see a movie. Because you’re the next contestant on . . .

Snow-Day or No-Snow-Day!

snow_day_or_no_snow_day_2

Stay tuned tomorrow for how I didn’t rake or bag a single leaf this fall.

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Dad Stuff: Right to Left

f1p1o9pfevp6wia.large_I’m right-handed, but starting today, I’m going to do everything left-handed.

Why? To see if it can be done and if I can make myself ambidextrous. I did it once before, with my computer mouse, when carpal tunnel made my right-hand go numb. It was quite the experiment, but I was amazed. I’m now equally adept at using my computer mouse left- or right-handed. I know, I know …brag much. And at one point in my life I taught myself to kick a soccer ball with my left foot – and if you can believe it, I eventually was better with my left on corner-kicks and free-kicks. Never would’ve expected that.

Great thing about the Internet is that I’m not the first one to do this. I’m able to see the benefits or the harm that can be done. Really? It can harm me?

“Although teaching people to become ambidextrous has been popular for centuries, this practice does not appear to improve brain function, and it may even harm our neural development.” -Michael Corballis, professor of cognitive neuroscience and psychology at the University of Auckland in New Zealand

My goal isn’t to learn to write, but simply to give my carpal tunnel’d right-hand a break and experiment. Simple things …use my computer mouse, hold a glass, brush my teeth, one-handed thumb-type on my iPhone. Ya know …important stuff.

This is day-1 of me Resolution-A-Day reboot. More to come.

 

Badass Leaf Blower

A category-5 hurricane has winds of 156 m.p.h. and up.

My leafblower boasts 260 m.p.h power.

I used to have a leaf blower I got at a garage sale and I don’t know how powerful that one was, but I can tell you …it ain’t a brand-new Toro Ultra Electric Blower (and vacuum and mulcher).

It’s electric. It’s badass.

I didn’t know what I was missing with my old one. I liked that one. But this one? Whoa. I used to have to put the leaf blower about a foot from the leaves and it would blow them about a foot. It was perfect for blowing grass clippings off my driveway or leaves out of the flower bed, but when it came to heavy leaves, I often opted for a rake because I could get more done.

My new Toro Ultra Electric Blower will pretty much allow me to blow leaves into my neighbor’s yard and into the road and not bag anything.

Kidding.

Half-kidding.

I stood in one spot and blew every leaf off my 20×20 deck. This evening I got up on the roof and blew all the leaves out of the gutters like the leaves were flower petals.

Leaf clean-up used to be a chore. This year, it’s an adventure. Used to be a battle. Now, it’ll be a triumph.

Exciting times around here.

I’m Co-Host of a Podcast: The Alpha Shift

Fact:  97% of the U.S. population has a Podcast

Fact:  91% of the U.S. population has a YouTube Channel.

And now those #s are 97.1% and 91.1% because I have a Podcast, too. Well, I’m co-host on my friend Dave’s Podcast, The Alpha ShiftLinked below is my third episode (I’ve been on three of the first five episodes) and it’s very special to me because we recorded a year from the day we laid my friend Matt in the ground after his tragic and untimely death on October 10th, 2018.

I hope you’ll listen. We’re a work-in-progress, but we’re figuring things out as we go …in life and on the Podcast.

You can listen on iTunes or watch-listen on Dave’s Facebook Page. Links below. Oh, and if you’re over at iTunes, please ‘Subscribe’ and if you like what you hear, share it or leave a comment.

iTunes Podcast:  The Alpha Shift, Episode 5 – Live Life Like You’re Dying; Relationships are Your Riches

Facebook Video: The Alpha Shift, Episode 5 – Live Life Like You’re Dying; Relationships are Your Riches

Facebook Page:  The Alpha Shift

alpha_shift_ep_5_cover_photo

I Have a Jeep

As I walked out of the grocery store tonight, something strange happened. A man was lying on the pavement of the parking lot, halfway under my car, looking at the underside of my car. It was daylight. Tons of people were around. So I wasn’t scared.

I said, “hello,” and he jumped up and asked, “this your Jeep?”

I said, “yes.”

He said, “man, you know that engine? It’s an AMC. You’ll have this thing forever. What engine is it?”

I told him it was the 2.5L 4-cylinder.

He continued, “oh, that’s great. Easy to work on. Actually makes this Jeep about 400 pounds lighter. And,” he went on, “you’ve got the ultimate theft protection,” and laughed.

“What,” I asked?

“Right there in the dash.”

He paused.

“Stick shift!”

He laughed some more, and I picked up on the fact he thinks most people in 2019 would never want a stick shift. Actually, that’s true.

“And, you saved yourself about $4,000 in repairs because eventually, every automatic transition is gonna fail.”

I added, “and it doesn’t have A/C.”

“Really!??!?!  Smart, smart, smart. Another thing that can’t go wrong. And you got those half-panel doors. Why do you have those in? On a night like this? I mean, if it ain’t rainin’, you should have those out. Those are rare.”

He paused.

“Are you interested in selling this?”

My wife won’t like this, but I quickly said, “no, I’ve only had it a few months.”

“Oh,” he said. “So you’re not the original owner? I should give you my phone number in case you change your mind.”

I didn’t take his number. Again, my wife doesn’t “get” me.

He continued to tell me it was a shame they didn’t make the frame and parts out of nickel, because it will get rusty, but he told me about a product to fix and stop the rust underneat and then said, “if you ever need brakes, write this down  …NiCopp. N-I-C-O-P-P.”

“I’ll remember. I don’t have a pen.”

He insisted, “I have a pen in my car, want me to get it and write it down.”

“Oh, no,” I said.  “Ni Bopp.”

“Niiiiii. Cop,” he said. “Like a police officer. A ‘cop’. Sure you don’t want me to write it down?”

By this time, I was climbing in my Jeep ready to leave. I thanked him for convincing me I made a good purchase, and I think he really wanted to write down “NiCopp” and his phone number in case I ever wanted to sell it. I waved good-bye. He watched me drive away like I was headed off to war and I swore I saw a tear roll down his cheek.

I’m ready to go public with this. I have a Jeep. I’m embarrassed about it. I feel like everyone who sees me driving it …and washing it on the weekend …and detailing it …and ‘Liking’ and Saving Jeep YouTube videos …I think they’re all thinking, “oh, Don’s having a total midlife crisis.”

It’s not like that at all. Or maybe it is.

I’ve had a Jeep for a couple of months, and I really like it. It wasn’t supposed to be for me. I wasn’t looking for a Jeep. Wasn’t shopping for a Jeep. I was looking for a reliable, practical, used-car for my 16-year-old with low mileage and good reviews in Consumer Reports that all my kids could share throughout their high-school years and maybe use it for college. Nothing fancy. Just reliable. And then quite randomly I drove by this black, soft-top, 2-door, stick-shift, clean, good-looking Jeep that was priced well below what any similar Jeep I could find online, and I bought it on impulse.

My teenager refused to learn stick shift (I really thought the idea of driving a Jeep would incentivize her to learn) so now the Jeep is mine.

I’ve wanted a Jeep since I was in college and a frat brother had one and often let me borrow and drive it.  Owning a Jeep never seemed like a smart purchase. I’m 46-years-old. I don’t have a “Jeep” lifestyle of mountain biking, off-roading, 4-wheeling, surfing, camping, or anything like that. I’m not a car-buff who enjoys working on cars (although I keep my cars very, very clean and detail them once a month, at least).

Yet, even before owning my first Jeep, I had hard, fast rules.

  1. Jeeps should be 2-door
  2. Jeeps should be soft-top
  3. Jeeps should be manual (stick shift)
  4. Jeeps should be black

The order changes, but I always said, “if I ever get a Jeep, my Jeep will be…”

Now. I’m obsessed. I like the “Jeep wave.” I have a long list of tweaks and enhancements I want to make to it. I know what my “next Jeep” will be (a purchase that seems inevitable because, while my daughter didn’t want to learn to drive the Jeep …my son …he will learn …that I can already tell).

Plastidip. Black rims. 2-inch lift kit. Slightly bigger tires. Running boards. A hitch for a bike rack or shelf. A better stereo, better speakers, and a subwoofer.

I don’t know what the lesson is, here. Maybe there isn’t one. Or maybe, if you wait, patiently, and don’t impulsively buy everything you want right when you want it, or don’t put yourself into debt with an impractical purchase, or just take a deep breath and count to ten (or count to 26 …the number of years since I first decided that someday I would have a Jeep), you’ll get to a point where you truly know what makes you happy, and you’ll be happy when you get it.

It’s possible I would’ve grown out of my I-Want-A-Jeep phase. Maybe I would’ve decided a car isn’t anything I care about. But now, at 46-years-old, and after seeing grown-men, year after year at the Dream Cruise, fawning over cars, day after day …I get it.

Is it a midlife crisis? Is it my attempt to buy my son’s love? Is it me annoying my wife?

I don’t know. I guess it’s a Jeep thing.

Donnie Jalapeno and YOUR GARDEN

OK. Here’s thinking outside the box. You have a garden. Like many of my friends with gardens, you might have too much stuff.

So, how about you bring some of that stuff and let me make Donnie Jalapeno Salsa with produce from your garden.

I’m not even worried that you know these things are in my salsa …I’ll keep the ratio and the spices a secret.

Bring me all of this, or some of this, and I’ll fill in what’s missing and you’ll be all set.

  • garlic
  • white onion
  • red onion
  • Roma tomatoes
  • Regular tomatoes
  • jalapeno
  • habanero (if that’s your thing)

I’m 100 (it’s how the kids say 100%)

Below is a Ted Talk that punched me in the gut. No. Hit me in the head. No. Woke me up (can I say “I’m woke?”). Benjamin Hardy says alotta stuff, but what I hear is stop doing 30-day fasts, or Whole30, or cleanses, or P90X and just become whatever it is I want to say I am. He calls it the 100 Percent Rule.

Like this…

Don is a healthy guy and always eats healthy food.

It’s that simple. If you think about it, it is. In the video below, I identify with the guy he talks about who decided one day he wasn’t going to be a fat guy, and when a child pointed at him in a store and said, “look at that fat guy,” …because he decided he wasn’t a fat guy anymore, he had to remind himself, oh, right, that’s me. But he was well on his journey to looking like the fit, healthy person he already was in his head.

It’s not about New Year’s Resolutions. It’s not about starting something “right after Thanksgiving” or “right after Christmas” or “losing 30 pounds by the end of summer.”

It’s about when you decide something, do it 100% or don’t do it at all.

  • I walk for half-an-hour at least once a day; twice when the weather cooperates.
  • I don’t eat white bread and food with added sugar more than two or three times a week.
  • I floss daily.
  • I’m the top salesperson at my company.
  • I’m a social media content creator and consultant.
  • I am committed to sleeping and having a sleep schedule because I know how important sleep is to my overall health.
  • I stop looking at my iPhone or glowing screens at 10:00 p.m. every evening (if not sooner) and read a paper page until lights-out at 10:45 p.m.
  • I set my alarm for 5:45 a.m. and I walk briskly (or exercise, or stretch) from 5:55-6:05 a.m.
  • I brush my dog every day and clip her nails weekly.
  • I’m a writer. I write every day.
  • I’m writing a book. It’s a Sales-Self-Help book with one of my best friends.
  • I’m writing a screenplay.
  • I’m going to be on a Podcast. At least once. Maybe regularly. So what if “everyone” has a Podcast.
  • I’m a great father and always working to be better.
  • I’m a great husband who tells his wife, and shows her, every day he loves her.

Can it be that easy? I’m 100% committed to this entire list. Or I’m not.

For me, it makes sense and keeps me centered and focused.

Project 46

Mid-Year Resolutions (and Mid-Life Resolutions)

Two things that have always been my things are my Mid-Year Resolutions and my Projects. Two years ago I kicked off Project44 and it’s been a good guide. Time for an update.

My birthday, luckily, is July 11th, right in the middle of the year. I like to look back on my New Year’s Resolutions and analyze performance. I’ve done OK, but could do way better.

Oh, and don’t worry if you’re birthday isn’t mid-year, like mine …just play along with me. We look to things like New Years day and our birthday, or maybe Labor Day and the first-day-of-school as points on the calendar where we can start fresh. I wanna make July 1st, or the first week of July as a Start Fresh type of moment.

For me, it’s also time for a Mid-Life Review. All of this is dependent on me being lucky enough to live until I’m 92. Hey! Gotta have goals. And if “living until I’m 92” is a goal, it’s time to start doing the things I need to do to get there.

Hence, Project 46 (henceforth known as #Project46). It started quite simply with my friend, Nick Garcia, challenging me to do the #RavenRun (I’m certain he thought I would not). You know about my lung thing, so #RavenRun, for me, is #RavenWalk – 30-minutes of walking every day, rain or shine, sickness or health …period. And I’m on Day54. I haven’t missed and, actually, I’ve ramped up.

#Project46

Do things around the number “46”.

  • Lights out and ready to sleep by 10:46 P.M. (11:46 on weekends)
  • Wake up at 5:46 A.M. (6:46 A.M. on weekends)
  • 46 Push-Ups daily
  • 46 Pull-Ups per day
  • 46 Minutes of Writing per day
  • 46 Social Media posts per day
  • Exercise and stretch for 46 minutes daily (even if 22 minutes in the a.m., and 24 minutes at night …and include the Push-Ups and stuff)
  • Listen (or read) something motivating 46-minutes each day
  • Make calls (cold-calls) at 8:46 a.m.
  • Weight 146 pounds

Stuff like that. Get it? Yes, weighing 146 might not be possible (or healthy) and I will never do 46 pull-ups in a day (even if I did 2 each hour …they are so difficult). But it’s simply about finding your meaningful number and building routines and plans around it. Turning 50? Project50. Get creative. Get living.

Wanna play along and support each other. Below is where I am.

(231) 660-1491 mbl
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Random Stuff: Amazing Household Cleaner Made With Baking Soda, Dish Soap, and White Vinegar

Short and sweet Blog entry here about an amazing household cleaner made with baking soda, dish soap, and white vinegar.

Non-Toxic Bathroom Cleaner Recipe

Making a Non-Toxic Bathroom Cleaner

In a bucket (or even a Tupperware container), start with baking soda, add the dish soap and mix a little, then add the vinegar and bring out your inner child as you marvel at the chemical reaction and foaming action.

Using a Non-Toxic Bathroom Cleaner

Grab a washcloth (I prefer it over a sponge) and clean, clean, clean.

I used it this morning in my basement shower that tends to get mildewy in the hot, humid summer when the A/C is cranking and I just gotta say …wow. It devoured the soap scum (maybe about 10-days since previous cleaning). It whitened the grout (almost in real-time), and I liked how the dish soap kinda made it stay on the surface while I kept wiping in a circular motion. I did the walls. The shower doors. The chrome and stainless steel. And then the tile floor.

Turned on the shower. Used the handheld showerhead to spray everything and it just washed right away and everything looked incredible.

And it smelled lemony. I loved it. No bleach. No harsh chemicals (everything is edible if you think about it). And, because I’m frugal (cheap), I hate how expensive most bathroom cleaners are and this, by my calculations, cost me about $1 (and it’s probably lower than that) based on what I bought to make it.

What To Buy To Make a Non-Toxic Bathroom Cleaner

  • 13 1/2 pound bag of baking soda ($10)
  • 1.32 gallon Heinz white vinegar (I’m sure you can find cheaper)
  • 30 oz lemon dish soap ($1)

I have a pretty large shower stall and I did the entire shower and the doors and had mix leftover to do the floors, and still had to dump some out – next time I’ll go outside and wipe down some of my white aluminum siding with the extra mixture. Or maybe I’ll clean my slop sink in the basement. Or maybe my main sink upstairs.

My next lifehack will be to put a shower squeegee in the bathroom and use it after each shower – I hear that really, really helps a bathroom stay cleaner, longer.

I don’t know what your water and soap do to your shower, but my soap scum tends to almost look light pink or orange-brownish. Sounds more disgusting than it actually is, but that’s what I see when my bathroom goes 10 or 14 days withouth cleaning.

Lung Healthy Household Cleaner

scrubbing_bubbles_marquee-newAnother benefit of this homemade cleaning solution is the lack of toxins. Yes, the surfaces will be clean and there won’t be bleach on your fingers, but I’m a guy with a lung condition, called Bronchiectasis, and for years I’ve deferred all bathroom cleaning to my wife so she can damage her lungs (sarcasm) and not me. But truly, when I do get bold and clean the bathroom with Scrubbing Bubbles, or Scrub Free bathroom cleaner, I wear a breathing mask, and even then, I cough and wheeze. If I don’t cough and wheeze while cleaning the bathroom, afterward I will because those toxic fumes hang in the air.

Not a Mommy Blog

There you go. This is not a Mommy Blog. This is a Dad Blog. I put the good stuff at the top of the article. Most people will never read this far. When I was searching and researching it was so annoying. Half the Blog entries told long stories about why they found a non-toxic cleaner option, told me how many kids they have, or described some ailment they believe was caused by all the chemicals (OK …I kinda did that with telling you about my lung condition), blah, blah, blah.

I tried to make this lifehack, Dad-centric tip easy.

  • Part 1: I started with stating here’s the BEST non-toxic, homemade, vinegar, baking soda, and dish soap based bathroom cleaner (10 seconds to read)
  • Part 2: I told readers how to make it (10 seconds)

***at this point, a reader could leave, bookmark, or Tweet my entry and I’m happy…***

  • Part 3, 4, 5, etc: 10-minutes of all the background for those who really like to read stuff.

Experiment in Attracting Readers to my Category Expert Blog Entry

And finally, another reason I’m posting this is as an experiment. It’s a lifehack. It’s a cleaning tip. It’s a Blog entry with all the right tags and keywords. When someone searches for “homemade household cleaners” or “baking soda bathroom cleaner” or “baking soda dish soap chemical-free cleaner” …or when they search anything about “using dish soap to clean your bathroom” or “Dawn dish soap bathroom cleaner” …hopefully, they land here.

I hope someone leaves a comment and tells me I’m a genius, that they tried this and it changed their life, or actually I wouldn’t mind if some Internet troll decides to tell me how I’m killing all the fish in Lake Michigan because of this homemade household cleaning product.

THINGS I’VE USED IT FOR

  • Cleaning the bathroom. It eats up soap scum and doesn’t have the toxic fumes that hurt my lungs
  • Cleaning gutters and siding. I live in a neighborhood with many tall trees, many of them maples. Without fail, in the spring, when I can’t keep up with the helicoptors (seeds) that fall off those maples into my gutter, a good rain will overflow my gutters and my white gutters and downspots will look grey and dirty. I sprayed this on. Let it sit. And it wiped clean like I was using Krud Kutter. But I didn’t have to wear the breathing mask and gloves like I do with that.

Good luck. Get clean.