More Shelf Elf

I think a really good Shelf Elf idea would be for the kids to wake up and find their elf was running a cock fighting racket in our basement. But have you priced roosters, lately? And while I find nothing morally wrong about staging a fake cock fighting event, stealing roosters isn’t something I’m willing to do.

I’d steal guinea pigs and wouldn’t bat an eye, and possibly I’d steal a cow or two as part of a fraternity prank, but not roosters.

I’m uncomfortable with the amount of times I’ve used the word “cock” on my blog, now, and I apologize to the regular readers for having to endure any salty comments from readers who were here expecting something different.

We went with a classic, tried and true “Elf fishing for goldfish crackers” gag because, we’ll, my kids don’t have Pinterest and haven’t seen this, yet. I feel bad for the guy who first thought up the “elf fishing for goldfish cracker” pose …I’ll bet 95% of all Shelf Elves have done this one. He’d be a rich man if you could patent something like that.


Next up, on Saturday night after the Spartan football team won the Big Ten Championship, my wife fashioned a elvin (or is it “elfish”?) sleeping bag from a wine skin and took a Pom Pom from the American Girl corner. In hindsight, we should’ve taken a couch from the Barbie corner and burned it and flipped a Barbie car over. The kids wouldn’t have gotten the joke, but our friends on Facebook would’ve laughed.


And finally, last night, Shelf Elf was playing some piano. What the kids can’t see going on here is that our Shelf Elf, known as Sugar Cookie, used to be a great song writer at the North Pole and he once wrote the most popular song on the elvin pop charts! but despite a rather eclectic and indie style, he’ll always be known as a one hit wonder and he’s been trying forever to write his next big chart topper.

Only 15 more days of this madness. Stay tuned.


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