My Wife Won Christmas 2024 – And I’m Officially Surrendering

They key to a happy marriage is having an intense rivalry with your spouse. Happy couples should always be tracking who does more around the house, who garners more love and admiration from their children, and other markers like “who remembers more things” and “who had a higher ACT score back in 1990” (for what it’s worth, it was me in the context of my marriage).

Kathy and I have each been in the winner’s circle on various things, and one of our biggest battles is the one-upmanship of who “wins Christmas” or who “wins Mother’s Day/Father’s Day”.  But mostly it’s about who “wins Christmas.”

The problem is, Kathy is an incredible gift-giver. She listens. She watches. And she hasn’t bought something from my Stuff I Want List in years. She doesn’t need a list. Kathy has her own ideas and she absolutely nails it every time.  She has, like, a 100% success rate. I can’t remember a gift from Kathy that I didn’t like or that I wanted to exchange or return. She’s really good at it.  Or maybe I’m a simpleton and easy to buy for. Maybe. But as perfect as the gifts are, I think it’s mostly that Kathy is really good at gift-giving and she really, really knows me – maybe better than I know myself.

I try. But I mostly get her what she’s already asked for and I think she politely returns about 30% of what I gift her. Do not judge her. If you saw the things I tried to buy and “win” …you’d laugh and be on Kathy’s side (ie pajamas that were ugly, too small, and boring).

All this is to say …Kathy won Christmas, again. And I’m announcing my retirement from the Gift-Giving Battle Royale. Don’t worry. I’m still going to work hard to buy her good gifts, and it’s not like I’m going to give her Visa Gift Cards or cash. It’ll be a blend of jewelry and things she’s specifically said she’d like to have and that I’ve noticed and remembered (and wrote it down). But I know I’m never going to win.

AND THE WINNER GAVE . . . 

Ember Mug: I knew this existed but never really researched it. My family often finds abandoned mugs 1/3rd full of room temperature coffee that I’ve forgotten in the microwave. I make a cuppa coffee. I drink it slowly while reading or journaling or just enjoying a relaxing morning. I zap it in the microwave half way thru. Then again. Microwaving coffee changes the taste. The Ember Mug is brilliant …for a guy who drinks coffee like I do. I have 2 cups each morning on workdays. I have 3 cups on weekends. The Ember Mug is a heated mug that will keep a mug of coffee at whatever temperature I want (I choose 135 degrees). Again, I knew it existed but never really researched it. Kathy did. It’s perfect. And it’s a “gadget” with an App and a “thing to figure out.”  Gift score = 10/10.

Stanley Stay-Chill Stacking Pint: I love beer. I love my fire pit. I like beer poured into a pint glass over drinking right from the can or bottle. I bring pint glasses outside by my firepit. At least once a season, I shatter a pint glass and there’s broken glass around my firepit. So Kathy put 2 and 2 and 2 and 2 together and thought, “he says beer is better poured into a glass so it can breathe and I don’t like broken glass so I’ll buy these.”  She did it again.  Gift score = 9/10 (because stainless steel does slightly change the taste of beer)

Scrub Daddy Sponge:  You’re probably asking if I’m really excited about a sponge. Sadly …yes. My daily moment-of-zen happens after dinner cleaning the kitchen (Kathy cooks, I clean). We recently stayed someplace and it had a Scrub Daddy Sponge and it was a smart kitchen device. I learned it was a Shark Tank invention. It’s better than a sponge, or a scrub brush, or a rag. It’s different because it’s (a) soft in warm water and firm in cool for more scrubbing power, (b) won’t smell for 8 weeks, lab-tested, (c) it doesn’t scratch and is safe on over 25 common and delicate surfaces, like non-stick pans and countertops, and (d) it’s dishwasher safe and rinses clean under running water and can be sanitized in your dishwasher. I like the kitchen, after dinner and before bed, to look like we’re ready for company to come over. This sponge cleans and scrubs and doesn’t get stinky. Gift score  = 7/10 (because it’s “zen” but it’s still work)

Plus, she bought pajamas from my favorite apparel brand, Life is Good.

She’s too good. It makes me want to be better. Pay attention. Listen. Think about what she wants and needs and maybe wouldn’t buy herself. Or even better, maybe delight and surprise her with something she’d forgotten she wanted or didn’t even realize she wants.

Kathy’s been saying for years …some people are good at getting gifts and some people are good at giving gifts. She’s great at giving. She knows me so well. I’m humbled.

Under promise. Over-deliver. Delight and surprise. And be able to explain why you think the gift is perfect for that person.

That’s how you win Christmas.