Mary Lou Knew the Right Way

People who knew my Mom would not have considered her “opinionated”, but instead I think she was “resolute.”

Been typing away at this Blog entry for a little over a month. Her birthday was January 23rd. She would’ve been 78 years old. This October, she will have been gone for 20 years.

Opinionated means someone feels very strongly about their position on a topic, but that position is not absolute and can be argued.

Mary Lou was resolute. Resolute means she was unwavering.

For Mary Lou, there wasn’t your way of folding a shirt and her way. There was a right way to fold a shirt.

• Fold shirts (and all clothing) immediately upon taking them out of the dryer and when they are warm (almost hot) to the touch.
• Ideally, have a clean, large, flat surface on which to “hand smooth” the shirts at each step
• Whip each shirt 2 or 3 times.
• Hold the shirt at the shoulders (front facing away from you) and fold the shirt lengthwise so the shoulders match up.
• Lay this 1/2-folded shirt on a flat surface and smooth it flat with your hand.
• Fold the sleeve 90 degrees.
• Fold the shirt in half so the neck of the shirt touches the bottom
• It should almost be a perfect square

The above is applicable to short sleeve t-shirts, polo shirts, sweater, and sweatshirts. On the long sleeve items, the sleeve is folded at 90-degrees, then down 45-degrees (don’t even try to suggest to me the professional center-folding technique we see in clothing stores is the “right way” …because it’s highly inefficient in the real world and with clothing that’s been worn and washed 100+ times).

Mary Lou had systems. Her systems were perfect when utilized. She applied this to:

• Making beds
• Setting a table
• Wrapping gifts
• Baking brownies and frosting them (and her frosting finishing technique made each tray a work of art)
• Handwriting and penmanship
• Grammar (both written and spoken)

I think I’ll devote future Blog entries to each of those items. Both as a public service so you know the right way to do things and also so my kids can know a little extra piece of my Mom (their Grandma).

My Mom was widely considered one of the nicest, most generous people on the planet. Some (my Dad) might even say “too nice.”  But on some of these small things, there was no wiggle room.

Opinionated people don’t want to help you. Opinionated people just want you to hear what they think. Resolute people, like my Mom, just want to make your life better and easier and full of well folded t-shirts, sweatshirts, Polos, and sweaters. Resolute people understand there’s a reason we all follow certain traffic laws or why there are rules for board games. Because there is a correct way to do things. And those ways are for your own good.

Being resolute is a virtue I admire. I had a boss who believed in Inbox Zero, and a friend (who’s become very successful) who was doing Inbox Zero before it was called “Inbox Zero.” Both were resolute about this habit. Deep down, I knew it was the correct way and I finally put it into practice, and it’s 100% better than any other option.

My Dad and I are resolute about certain lawn mowing and maintenance rituals (sharp blades, clean cutting decks, superiority of mulching, weeding, and watering).

I am resolute that phones have their place, but should not be seen in a meeting, during a lunch or meal with friends or family, or at any time when interpersonal, in-person interactions are happening.

It’s OK to be resolute. But not always opinionated. It’s my opinion that a working-person’s evening should be sacred family time. People give enough time to their employer (let’s call is 8:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m.). It feels like the evening should be “your time” or “my time.”  This is an opinion, of course. Because there are hundreds of variables that might make this difficult or impossible.

Resolute sounds like this …at some point in your day, you should unplug, disconnect and spend some time on yourself or with other people or hobbies that you care about. Even 15-minutes is better than nothing.

Keep your opinions to yourself or, if you do share an opinion, be prepared that someone might offer another opinion.

But don’t be afraid to be resolute. In fact, be resolute and identify the things you are resolute about.

Just don’t ask about the Mary Lou’s “underwear basket”.