Dad Stuff, Part 10: New/Best Water Bottle

Like all other decisions in my life, the decision of my “next water bottle” has taken a good, solid six months of research, hemming and hawing, denial, and finally … pouncing on a great deal.

This thing is perfect. I don’t care how much my wife and daughters laugh and say, “you got a tiny water bottle because you’re a tiny person.”  At the moment, I like this water bottle more than I like them. No. I love this water bottle. I tolerate them. Harumph.

I had a Swell bottle, but it was too tall for the water dispenser on my fridge and those Swell bottles are really only for cold beverages. I had a clear plastic bottle, but even the nicest plastic breaks down.

Enter the Zojirushi SM-KHE48 16 oz. stainless mug (which for me is a bottle). And it’s perfect because…

• Full-sized ice cubes can go inside
• It’s smaller, thin, and goes in any cup holder
• Guaranteed for 5 years and can be exchanged for any reason
• Keeps hot things hot for many, many hours
• It slips nicely into the water bottle holder on my backpack (the Swell was too tall and top heavy)
• It fits into the water dispenser opening on my fridge
• The entire mouthpiece can be disassembled and thoroughly cleaned weekly
• Has a super sweet spring-loaded flip-top lid
• Is black
• Will add 7 years to my life

Again, the wifey and the oldest daughter laughed, but it holds SIXTEEN OUNCES. Looks are deceiving. Even I didn’t believe it so I measured out sixteen ounces of water and poured it in and I’ll be damned …it holds sixteen ounces.

“Don,” you ask? “Did it really take you six months to pick out a water bottle?”

Yes. Yes it did. At first I thought, “Yeti,” and that would be that. But I didn’t like their shape or their cost. Then I thought, “TJ Maxx,” and if I’m patient, eventually I’ll find exactly what I’m looking for and I’ll be done. But TJ Maxx never ended up having what I was looking for. Then I thought, “are you really going to spend more than $20 on a bottle that holds water and don’t you have drinking glasses all over your house, and don’t you stay inside your house all day and night?”

Then my Dad gave me a gift card for my birthday (um, yes, I’m 47 and he still gives me a little birthday money and …so what!?!?!) and I finally pulled the trigger.

Now, I know in my heart that all stainless steel water bottles are made in the same place and every company just buys the same bottles and slaps their brand on those bottles. I know there’s only about 100 different designs. But I like to think there’s a design team at Zojirushi and this “Business Traveler” or “Middle Aged Hiker” design was the result of 100 engineers and 50 market research people locking themselves in a room and writing on the white board things like, “trail hiking,” and, “airports.”  And they said things like, “it needs to be perfect for a carry-on and for the outdoor enthusiast who wants to keep carrying-on.” Multiple engineers were fired when they came up with a design that was, “good enough.” And you know how they have those big stadium events with cheering fans when they announce a new iPhone? I want to believe when they announced the Zojirush SM-KHE48, the CEO came dancing onto stage amidst fireworks and Metallica’s “Enter Sandman” and everyone went ballistic when he revealed the latest in their line of stainless steel mugs and drinking bottles.

My water bottle arrived. It’s perfect. It’s actually more than perfect. So if you want your water drinking life (and maybe your mobile coffee drinking life) to be perfect, you might really like the Zojirushi (once you wash off the China virus …did I just say that …shame on me).