Don Kowalewski
Writer. Ad Sales and Marketing. Social Media Content Creator. Aeropress Coffee. Makes the best salsa in the world.
This Is Going to Sound Like Bragging and Now What?
I’ve had a great Lent. Easily my best Lent ever. And not just because I sacrificed and dieted and feel great, but because I did all the things I did for the right reason. And didn’t cheat. Here’s my confession … I always cheat at Lent. I sneak a burger on a Friday. I take Sunday’s off from whatever I’ve given up. And, then I always find other excuses …like, hey, I’m not eating bread, except for St. Patrick’s Day …and on Pancake Saturdays. Oh, and Sundays.
But this time, by some divine inspiration, I stuck with the Whole30 and the results have been dramatic. Astounding, in fact. I was inspired by the journey of m5carolin, I won’t lie.
I weigh 155 pounds as of the writing of this. I began lent at 167 pounds. I haven’t had a breathing issue or wheezing or coughing in weeks. I tried on a pair of pants, today, with a 30-inch waist. Someone at work told me, “if you lose anymore weight, we’re going to have an intervention for you and your eating disorder.”
Yay, me. I’m not bragging …I’m just proud of myself, and I happen to have a blog.
Now the question is …now what? Easter is Sunday and I have every intention of eating all the great food that comes with Easter, including the fresh baked bread smothered in butter. I make no apologies. And, probably Monday or Tuesday, I’m going to have the thing I’ve been craving for almost all of Lent …a small Hungy Howie’s pepperoni and mushroom pizza and an order of Howie Bread. And if nobody’s looking, maybe for lunch on that Monday or Tuesday, I’m going to have a huge Penn Station Philly Cheesestake and fries.
Then what? Well, I want to stay this way. I think I’m going to continue to be good and disciplined. I hope the face-stuffing I have planned doesn’t unravel all the work I’ve done in the same way a guy who’s managed to quit smoking has a single cigarette and then is right back to his pack-a-day ways. With God as my witness, I think I can do it. I think I can have Easter Sunday, and then a really bad bender on Tuesday, and get right back to this “whole living” …which also includes no snacking and no eating after dinner.
That’s my promise to myself. Never become addicted to bread, pasta, sugar, and processed food again. I’ll pick a bad meal or snack on the weekends only, moving forward, but Sunday through Thursdays are going to be “whole”.
Hope you had a good Lent. I had the Best Lent Ever.
Shirt Test
I’ve fallen in love with Mizzen+Main shirts. But at $125 …ouch. Yes. I can justify the cost because if I get 4 of 5 of them at $500 total investment, and wash and wear and never take another shirt to the drycleaner again, in theory, they pay for themselves in a year. Then I read some online comments and someone suggested the $32 Old Navy Slim-Fit No-Iron Signature Shirt is almost the exact same shirt. I’m ordering one tonight. White. I’ll report back.
The Whole30 Success and Myth
This Whole30 thing is a huge success. I think it’s the first diet I’ve ever tried where I was able to resist cravings. I’m able to resist a piece of pizza for lunch while listening to the radio in my car. I’m able to resist the donuts in the break room. I’m able to resist snacking in the evening. Is it pure will-power? I think, as I’ve proven throughout my life, that I don’t have much will-power …but …maybe by going “whole” and working and fighting like hell to eliminate all grains, sugar, and any foods with chemicals on the label, the random cravings that often spell my doom, those cravings that hit me at about 9:30 at night …they haven’t been as strong.
Don’t get me wrong …if you told me, oh, hey, you missed this chapter where The Whole30 says after twelve days you should have a high-fat, high-carb day to jumpstart your metabolism, I’d probably head to Hungry Howie’s right now and get myself a small cheese, mushroom, and pepperoni pizza and a whole order of Howie Bread, and I’d eat …it …all. Then, I’d buy some chocolate chip cookies and eat all of those, too.
I make no apologies. I like food that tastes good.
But here’s the thing …when I broke the rule and stepped on the scale today on Day 28, I was under 160 pounds and …wow!
The Whole30 works!
The Best Podcast I’ve Heard in a While
I believe in Divine Inspiration. I believe that sometimes, when I pray (and I believe in prayer because, well, at the risk for making my readers uncomfortable, I believe in Jesus and God and I believe there is some good in praying to them), someone is listening and sometimes, whomever that is listening – Jesus, God, Angels, spirits – guide me. Trust me, I don’t have the whole theology thing figured out …not even close …but I believe I’ve been guided at times.
I feel like Divine Inspiration was in play when, after recently skipping a few of Tim’s podcasts, I noticed Tim Ferriss, of 4 Hour Work Week fame, had Seth Godin on his podcast. If you don’t know Seth Godin … you should. OK, let me put it this way …if you don’t know Seth Godin, and you’d like to take my advice, listen to Seth on Tim’s podcast. You can get it on iTunes, stream it by clicking here, or just go to this blog. You’ll learn who Seth is, how he’s been successful, you’ll hear two successful dudes riffing back and forth, and I think you’ll want to start being a better version of yourself.
There you go. Someone simple, today. You can knock this out on your commute (seriously …turn off Sports Talk or News Talk for a round-trip back and forth to work …trust me …Trump will still be crazy, tomorrow, and nothing all that exciting is happening in NFL free-agency).
More about the Tim Ferriss podcasts in my next post.
A Too-Long To-Do List
I pride myself at being the model of efficiency. At times …I really am. At times, I feel in control and in that state of “flow” where I feel like Neo at the end of The Matrix when the bullets appear to be moving so slow he casually leans out of the way as they harmlessly pass by.
Today, however, and for about the past two weeks, those bullets are hitting their target …me.
How does one dig out? How does one regain control and get back out in front of deadlines and projects and ideas?
This is probably an age-old dilemma. My to-do list is longer than I have hours in the day. My cognitive load is at it’s breaking point.
Cognitive load is a term most often associated with individuals learning something. I’m not in training or anything like that, but I think it can also apply to the modern-day worker who is trying to succeed at work while also succeeding at home as a father, as a husband, while simultaneously trying to pursue a passion-project (writing, golf, model train, pick-up soccer game, exercise, etc).
Last I checked, each day is only 24 hours. Seven of those hours need to be for sleep, leaving 17 hours for everything else. Eight solid hours should go to the job, right? For me, an hour is spent commuting. Hmmm. So that leaves 8 hours for me.
When I put it that way, I guess that’s lots of time. What do I do with those 8 hours?
Many time management experts say a person, a person who feels crunched for time, should journal all their activities in a day …including the social media stuff and small talk. This exercise does one of two things …(1) it forces you to waste less time when you feel guilty logging something like, “stood and watched the coffee brew in the kitchen for 4-minutes,” or, “wiped down and dusted my desk at work for 3-minutes,”. Or, this exercise (2) shows you all the things you do and how you don’t group and cluster the activities, so you essentially are your own worst enemy.
Today. I will journal. Actually, all this week, I’ll journal. First thing on the list …7:55 a.m. – 8:20 a.m., blogged.
It’s Getting Easier – The Whole30
It’s the 24th day of Lent and the 24th day of my Whole30 experiment. I remember reading the first few chapters of that book a few weeks ago and what jumped out was the painstaking detail the authors put into describing each day of the Whole30 and how people feel each day. It was doom and gloom. I thought to myself, well, this must be for people who are grossly overweight, horribly out-of-shape, and can’t even find the produce section at the grocery store.
Me? I’m barely 10 (or 15 pounds) heavier than I want to be and most medical experts wouldn’t even call me overweight. I rationalized when I start eating only good food, I’d be happy.
I won’t compare myself to a drug addict or alcoholic, but I’ll say this …NOT putting sugar, bread, or booze into my mouth has been torture. Ever bump into someone who’s only a few weeks into the process of quitting-smoking or cutting-back-on-coffee? If you have, that person is grumpy and irritable. Family members will tell you how difficult it was for them coping with the person quitting smoking.
I have been very, very irritable these past few weeks. I’ve cursed (under my breath) my family as they eat fresh bakery bread, when they pop popcorn on the stove and drizzle butter over it, and when they bake and eat cookies …oh, my daughter makes incredible peanut butter cookies, and I often have eaten four or five at a sitting with a big glass of milk. I’m so happy when I’m eating cookies and milk. That’s my fix.
So here I am on day-24 and for the first time in, I’d say, a decade, I’m not hearing McDonald’s, Subway, Five Guys, or Potbelly (or my new discovery, Penn Station) calling to me in the 11 o’clock hour right before lunch. When donuts and bagels get delivered to the office by clients, or the boss brings them in …I walk right by and don’t feel like I’m the victim of something.
This is good. It takes time. I think my body and mind were (and still are) going through detox. In the past, stress and guilt could be wiped away by a quick run to Speedway for a .75 cent pack of Nutty Bars. Or maybe two packs. Sometimes if I had a little cash in my pocket, I’d head to the bakery section at Busch’s market and buy a six-pack of these amazing chocolate chip cookies. Or I’d head to Little Ceasers for a bag of breadsticks. Soooo good. Soooo garlicky. And I leave the office for the, oh, 45-minutes it takes to go grab a snack and “clear my head” …but it’s not actually a solution in any form.
Whoa. Did I tangent, or what?
The point of all this is simple . . . it gets easier. Ten years ago when I said I’d try and join my wife and run a 5K, the first time I ran (run-slash-walk), it was hard. I felt so weak and defeated compared to the 18-year-old me who’d neglected his body for more than a decade. And then it got easier. And eventually it turned into my competing in some triathlons.
Now I need to turn those lunch-time runs for carbs into something better . . . because clearing my head or getting away from my glowing monitor for a few minutes isn’t a sin. I need to use that time to do something in the positive, and not stuff my face with tasty food.
15-minutes a day. It’s all it takes. Start something. And each day, it gets easier.
Do One Thing for Lent
Maybe my challenge with Lent in the past is I try to tackle three, four, or five things. Heck, this year I have a list of seven things. It sets me up for failure. Simplify. Simplify. Simplify.
Lent is working for me, this year. I confess, to you my brothers and sisters, that I typically suck at Lent. I talk a big game and put on a big show, and then kinda fail and falter and even forget what the heck I gave-up in the first place. And when I say, “forget,” …I mean I block-out certain thoughts and justify that I did pretty good and, hey, I didn’t eat after dinner in the evening 30 out of 40 days. Good enough. I fall back on the idea that Sundays during Lent are a “free day” and act badly then, too.
Not. This. Year.
For some strange reason (maybe divine inspiration) I’m resisting temptation to eat bad things. I’m praying at night with my children. I’m staying off Facebook.
It comes down to something I heard just today on Tim Ferriss’s podcast (with Seth Godin). It’s a concept called “coginitive load” and the best way I can explain it is that “multi-tasking” is a myth, it can’t be done, and by multi-tasking or taking on too many tasks, everything suffers.
Seth Godin (in his May 2014 blog) puts it this way . . .
“Cognitive load slows us down, distracts us and diminishes the quality of the work we do.”
I’m simplified Lent and it’s working. I’m doing one thing. Not eating any food that’s not “whole” or “natural”. Praying daily I stay strong (double dipping on that one, as I’m praying with my kids and asking God three times a night). Whether you believe in God, praying, or just want to call this “meditation”, it’s all healthy and encouraged by thought leaders and gurus. Meditation or prayer. A mental moment to look inward.
One thing. Eat right. One more thing. Not checking Facebook (actually pretty easy when I deleted all the shortcuts and apps from my devices). One more thing. Pray nightly with my children. Heck, I say ‘good-night’ to them, and talk about their day, so it wasn’t much to add quick prayers.
And one final thing. Write daily.
One thing. Every day. Little by little. A better me.
The Whole30 Is Killing Me!
OK. The Whole30 is not literally killing me, but I feel tortured. There’s so much I cannot eat. I know it’s for my own good, but I’m suffering. I don’t know if I can do this. Aren’t “Dad Bods” a trendy, sexy thing? Why do I want to be skinny, sleep better, be more mentally alert, and breathe better? Dumb idea.
I complained in more detail at my Medium blog. Read it here: https://static.medium.com/embed.jsWhole30 Diet is Making me Grumpy and Bitter
Why did I do this? I have no answer. How much do I want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on white bread? Oh …more than I’ve wanted anything every in my life.
Torture.
Lent Day-11 Update
The thing about Lent is that it’s a little different than say, oh, New Year’s Resolutions, because when it comes to Lent, you make a promise to Jesus and God. Now, while it’s true those two are pretty well documented as the forgiving type, part of me thinks I should try a little to hit my goals.
Let’s take a look.
Eliminate Facebook and replace those moments with something more fulfilling.
This is the easiest one. I deleted the app from my iPhone and iPad. I deleted the Facebook button from my Chrome Toolbar. As much as I love social media, I didn’t think this would be so easy. As much as I love Facebook, my life is unphased by missing out on where people went on vacation, what they think about the election, and who ate what for lunch and which new restaurant.
Train my dog 15 minutes a day (3x 5-minute sessions)
OK. If I’m being honest, it’s happening once a day. But the change in my dog is noticeable even after a week-and-a-half.
Don’t eat or snack after dinner
Done. Easy. Oh. Wait. Had popcorn with a movie on Friday. Had ice cream Saturday night. Oops. OK. Ten Hail Mary‘s and I’m back at it.
Write/blog for a 1/2-hour daily
I’m doing this, and then some. It feels great. I’m better when I’m creating. Seems silly, but it exercises my brain and stretches my imagination and that benefits my life and the people in it.
Call 2 friends or family members each day
Haven’t called a soul. Gonna have to really pray on this one.
Pray at bedtime with all three of my children.
I’m definitely doing it with the younger two, but the older one and our routine is she watches a show and then comes and says goodnight and goes to bed. I haven’t made her plop down on the couch and pray. This, too, I need to work on.
Do nothing non-work-related withing the 8:30 a.m. – 5:30 p.m. window and do nothing work-related in the remaining hours of my day.
Check. I’m locked in.
As I fast, begin things, and eliminate things, will ask myself, as Pope Francis is encouraging us, how can I help others with this?
With this, I may have bitten off more than I can chew. I stopped eating in the evening but haven’t figured out how that can help anyone.
40 New Business Appointments
Currently at seven. Seven booked in 11 days. I need to put the hammer down and accelerate the process to get there.
I feel pretty good, but I won’t give myself more than a C+ or B- on this status report. Room for improvement, I say. I’ll do this and I’ll be better for it.
Today I Started the Whole30 and Medium.com
Another fad diet. If The Whole30 is a fad, so be it. It sounds like a great way to eat. Mainly, it’s about cutting grains and sugars and I hope to see increased energy, better sleep, improved breathing, and maybe a few pounds off my 5’5″ frame.
I also started writing stuff at Medium.com. You know me, if it’s new and seems interesting, I wanna try it.
Here is my post. It’s pretty much exactly what I’m writing here. It claims to be a simple interface with writing and content as it’s main focus, and isn’t concerned with making it a perfect, revenue generating blog. It’s about the writing. OK by me. I’m good with a blogging site that’s more about the writing, as “writing” was a Lenten promise I aimed to keep. Ahem …11 days into Lent, I’m not setting the world on fire. But …it’s not about what I did or didn’t do yesterday, but what I do, today.
I started the Whole30, today. I found another place to write (medium.com to go along with my Tumblr, Twitter, Snapchat, and Instagram …I gave up Facebook for Lent). I wrote a blog entry.
Today. I’m a follow-through kinda guy.
The World Revolves Around Me?
No. The world doesn’t revolve around me. Did you see the question mark in the blog title? Sometimes, however, I feel like the choices I make are completely egomaniacal and force the people I love (mainly my wife) to bow to my selfish demands. Like, here’s two things I want to do which will burden her (hmmmm, I guess this entry should be called, “how far can I push my wife until she divorces me?”):
- Crazy Idea #1: Bedtime @ 10:00 p.m., leading to wake-up time 5:00 a.m. (a solid 7 hours of sleep and a day that begins with a trip to the gym).
- Crazy Idea #2: Do the Whole30 diet (which will alter how she cooks for the family and shops for the family)
And these are just two crazy ideas out of at least a dozen I have.
Is it selfish? To say, “I want more sleep so I have more energy and focus, and I want to get up early and exercise so I feel better, sleep better, look better, and live longer,” and then say, “I want to revamp my entire diet and all my bad eating habits so I have more energy and focus and so I feel better, sleep better, look better, and live longer?”
Is that selfish? I’m guessing many people would look at this and say, “well, what’s wrong with that? It’s not like you decided you wanted to be an Olympic bobsledder and spend 3 hours a night training and leaving her with the kids.” But those people don’t know how badly I messed-up Valentine’s Day this past weekend. I really f’d up. Maybe I’m just naturally a selfish jackass and that’s the first thing I need to work on. Hmmm. I’ll ponder that in a future blog post: A Fine Line Between Me and Everyone Else.
Moving on ….I have other Crazy Ideas. I want to get back into ghost-writing (including writing a book for M.K.), finish that script* I always talk about finishing (I’m talking to you, K.V.), write more for spunkybean, and listen to more music. Ahem. Yes. I mean simply listening to music. I wish I had more “me time” to do simple stuff …like read a book, or listen to a new CD. And I mean really, really listen. Listen uninterrupted to the lyrics and the subtle nuances that the artists put into certain songs.
Where will I get the time? Well, if I can simply give up all the time I spend with my wife, even though I can partly justify my behavior to being a better version of myself, for my wife, and living longer so I have more years with my wife, what good is it if I slap her a high-give twice a day …once during the busy morning routine of getting everyone outta the house and once in the evening when helping with homework, doing various daily chores, and putting the kids to bed at 8:15, 8:45, and 9:15, and then myself to bed at 10 o’clock.
Oh, and what about quality time with the kids? Where do I get that time?
Or maybe I overvalue the idea of “daily quality time,” and should focus more on planning for quality time. That’s another blog entry: What is Quality Time?
You’d think a guy with a blog all about himself and who loves Twitter and Snapchat and Facebook (except not right now during Lent) is comfortable with the world revolving around himself and that I don’t have much regard for anyone else. But I swear to you, it’s not true.
I guess I have a Crazy Idea #3: Have a Great Marriage (while being a ultra-driven, Type-A, healthy, inspired, exciting version of myself).
* Writing the script for a TV Pilot is Step-1. Once I show Hollywood I can write a story, script, and dialog, well, then I’ll be ready to get the ultimate feel-good movie idea out of my head and onto paper and …bam …I’ll, be famous. Or, it’s not so much famous, but I’ll feel really great and happy because I’ll have done a thing I’ve been thinking about for 8 years. Hell, I’ll just be happy if I write the whole script and get it into the hands of someone who knows something about storytelling and script writing and someone tells me, “no” or any feedback. Because right now, Steve Carrel, Bob Odenkirk, nor Andy Samberg have no idea this incredible, funny, and clever movie role is even available.
Oh, and this is the best song from 2015. Don’t argue.
Don Kowalewski 