Here we are. Day-7. I’ve witnessed a true miracle. You say it’s a predictable result of a scientifically tested product designed to do the thing I hoped it would do. I say MIRACLE!!! The pictures below, if you have the patience to compare them to Day-1 and Day-3, are jaw-dropping.
The most exciting thing for me is that Speedzone was able to kill the two things I’ve never had luck killing …the unidentified spreading weed that’s always on the curb by the street (and that I think comes with the salt in the winter) and the violets in my backyard.
All of them. Dying.
And some places I just sprayed regular ol’ dandelions and they died, too.
Yes, I know everyone’s lawn is fairly perfect this time of year, but I’m off to good start. A better start than I have on May 3rd than most previous years and two tough-to-kill weeds are dying.
Time for a beer.
Here’s Day-3. Stuff is already starting to die. What you can’t hear in these photos are the dandelions and violets saying, “Ohhh! You cursed brat! Look what you’ve done! I’m melting! Melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness! Ohhh! Look out! Look out! I’m going! Ohhhh – Ohhhhhhhhhh!”
In previous years when I used whatever was on sale at Ace/Home Depot/Lowes, I didn’t see this. This is 72-hours later and, I should mention, it poured rain starting about 10-hours after I applied Speedzone.
This excites me for two reasons.
Yes. Another category on this Blog … #Lawn Stuff. When it comes to my lawn, I’m obsessed. Yet, I’m no expert. I don’t have tons of extra money to spend. I don’t want to hire a service (again, the money). I don’t water it daily (one more time, money). I try really hard to avoid chemicals. Just not this year.
My friend, Steve T., works for a company that makes Speedzone. He’s a born-and-raised farm kid from rural Michigan. Growing stuff is in his blood. He actually cares about me and my lawn so one day he said, “hey, stop wasting your time with that watered-down stuff from your local hardware store,” and then gave me all these technical reasons about the why and how it all works and I kinda spaced.
“Just tell me exactly what to do and when,” I said.
So he did. He actually started to build an App. He told me what to do last fall. He told me what to do this spring.
Step 1: Apply Speedzone to all the weeds with a pump sprayer.
I did that on Monday, April 27th. The crappy pictures below show a wide variety of weeds in my lawn. Usually, I’ll spend 4-6 hours pulling all the dandelions one by one and spot spraying the other stuff that isn’t so easy to pull. This year, I’m trying something different.
Pictures below are a combination of Day-1 (before treatment) and Day-2 (24 hours after treatment).
In summary, today’s lessons are (1) have a farm-kid friend named Steve who’s as obsessed with his lawn as you are and is as frugal and (2) get Speedzone and a pump sprayer.
I’ll tell anyone who will listen that the best thing about Coronavirus and our nationwide stay-inside quarantine is that musical artists are bored, not touring, and they need our attention and praise. Those things are their life force. So they’re taking to social media to perform, hold living-room concerts, and more.
I hear tell that many of them are working on new music, working in their home studios, or going into studios and putting albums together. Could be an explosion of new music coming out later this year and into next. That’s good.
Like most 46-year-old dudes, I’m a big Fall Out Boy fan and the boredom of song-writer, founder, and bassist Pete Wentz gave us these two videos. First, a mini-figure Fall Out Boy concert and, second, a collaboration with his buddies Cheap Cuts on their first single. Everyone loves when Pete Wentz lectures us at his concerts, so this is like an entire song of Wentz wisdom.
If I didn’t mention it in most conversations, didn’t Blog about it, and didn’t post about it on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, you probably wouldn’t even know that I’m living a plant-based lifestyle.
“Plant-based” is the cool way to say you’re “vegetarian.”
And when I say I’m “plant-based”, I mean …wait. Ya know what I hate about most Blogs with a recipe? Those Blog posts usually have a thousand words before they get to the recipe. Not me. I’m getting right to the point.
Found a recipe for cauliflower hot wings. I modified some things so they’d be easier to make (and taste better). Here’s how to make ’em. You’ll love them. My non-plant-based family (including my teenage son) like these.
Follow these steps…
Eat ’em. Dip them in ranch dressing (or bleu cheese if you’re a freak).
Amaze your friends.
Feel good you’re plant-based like me.
Trust me. These are good.
Recently I decided I don’t like Brad Pitt. It sucks to say that. Cuz he’s in two of my favorite movies (Fight Club and Ocean’s Eleven). He’s dated some of the most beautiful women ever. He seems funny. But he also has had his problems …with drinking, I think (I’m not going to look it up). He’s had some really bad, public break-ups. It makes him human.
All was good and then, in the past year, he was doing some roof repairs (without a shirt) in the movie Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, looked ridiculously amazing, and then the last straw was his recent appearance on Celebrity IOU.
First. The rooftop scene. The dude is in his 50s. He’s old. And look …
But what really made me hate Brad Pitt was the Celebrity IOU. The premise of the show is something like, “rich, famous celebrity does something really cool and nice for someone special in his life.” In this case, Brad “The Pits” Pitt has a woman that has done his make-up for decades. I don’t even have a make-up lady to make me look good. It seems Hollywood folk need that. Hmmm. Maybe if I had a make-up person who made me look handsome(r) every day, I could look that good. Chicken and egg, thing.
A guy that looks as good as Brad Pitt, I guess, needs consistency and someone he can trust. His make-up lady seems like a super, super lady. A simple woman. A humble woman. She just seems to love what she does. She’s not a millionaire. She has a nice house out in Hollywood and on her property, she has a storage garage. I picture Brad “Jerk-Face” Pitt sitting in her make-up chair, year after year, and his make-up lady probably prattles on and on about how, “someday I’ll convert that shed into a make-up studio and a guest house and you can crash out there when you come over.”
Brad Pitt is supposed to be distant. Aloof. Patronizing in this situation. Upon leaving her chair, not even realize she was talking because she’s so beneath him.
Oh, but not Brad “Look How Cool I Am” Pitt. He “loves” her (his word). He’s “always wished” he could “repay her for everything she’s meant to him.”
So what does he do? Drops a couple hundred thousand dollars in the lap of the Property Brothers and they remodel the garage into the most kick-ass make-up studio-slash-guest house you’ll ever see. Brad “I Probably Have E.D.” Pitt sheds a few tears when he sees it. He helped with some of the work (with his shirt on …actually two shirts …one long-sleeve white shirt under a short sleeve Henley type thing …and it looked cool as F …I’m totally gonna try out that look …) …but I digress.
See what I mean? Total jerk. It’s only fun when celebrities suck and have problems so despite them being better-looking, rich, and envied by all, at least we can always find some way I am better than them. I mean “we” are better than them. I assume everyone feels like I do.
There! It’s officially out in the open. I hate Brad Pitt for being cool, handsome, super-fit, nice, humble, funny, giving and charitable and still with amazing hair in his mid-50s.
Join me next time when I’ll tell you why I hate teachers and puppies – as if it’s not totally obvious. Oh, and feel free to leave a Comment if I’ve missed something else to hate about Brad “Destroyed By This Blog” Pitt.
Still not convinced …watch the clip below. You’ll want to punch him. I warn you.
I saw two things yesterday that amused me. One of them much more amusing than the other. This is a test. Which of these do you find funnier? Both are funny. Don’t feel pressured. But I have a theory and want to know which you find funnier.
Vote as a comment.
The current quarantine around the Coronavirus has me feeling generous. So if you went to Michigan State in the ’90s, you definitely had a pizza from Good Times Pizza. My friend Rick and I believe one of the greatest foods ever invented were the Good Times breadsticks. I worked there for years. I memorized the dough recipe. Of the three pizza places where I worked from 1988 thru 1996, Good Times had the best dough. No. I don’t want to hear about your gourmet homemade doughs for thin crusts. This is a dough recipe for making and delivering hundreds of pizzas in a night.
Ya know what I hate about most Blogs with recipes? Too much preamble. So I’ll shut up and here you go…
You can mix it with a fork, but I hope you have a mixer and this dough hook thingy.
Put the dry ingredients into the mixer. Then mix the 6 Tablespoons of oil in with the hot water and slowly pour it into the mixer.
99% of the time, after 6-10 minutes in the mixer, it’s a perfect ball of dough. Form it into a ball about the size of a mini-basketball and cover it. If you can put it in the oven at 145 degrees or less, it will rise. Punch it down every 45 minutes for an hour and a half. Note: You don’t really need all that punching and kneeding, but it does make it rise better when baking.
This much dough will make two medium sized pizzas and an
order batch of breadsticks.
I use two 15-inch stainless steel pizza pans from Sur La Table (because I’m fancy) and a ceramic pizza stone thingy (I don’t know where I got it). Put a nickel size worth of veggie oil on each pan and smear it around. Then, with oily hands, split the dough into three nearly equal balls of dough (about 1 lb and 1 ounce each). The biggest ball should be the breadsticks.
Watch a YouTube video and teach yourself how to throw dough. But throwing the dough really isn’t necessary. You can just mash it and spread the dough out with your fingers. Then add toppings. My family, as you can see, is boring.
Oh, and this is important. Spread the breadsticks out and then cut them BEFORE cooking them, like you see in the images below.
Oven at 420. Timer set to 22 minutes.
Put the pizza with the most toppings in first on the top rack. All by itself. At the 20 minute mark, put the more boring pizza in. Middle rack. At the 18 minute mark, put the breadsticks in on the bottom rack. Now you start watching. Move them about every 6 minutes. Rotate them. Each pizza will want to spend some time on the bottom rack to crisp up the bottom crust.
At 22 minutes (or when they look done and about to burn), take the breadsticks out. Melt 3 TBSPs butter and 1 TSP garlic in a pan and then paint them onto the breadsticks. Then shake a generous amount of parmesan cheese over them.
Then take the other pizzas out and cut ’em up. These pictures make it look like I used yellow cheese. I didn’t and I don’t appreciate you accusing me.
At the time I posted this, we’re in the midst of a nationwide shelter-in-place because of the Coronovirus so try it. Call me if you have questions. If you fail, try again. You’ve got time. If you’ve got wee little kids …first, I’m sorry. Second, let ’em put the toppings on. Experiment. But trust me, when you get it right, you’re gonna thank me. Pizza hasn’t tasted this good since you ordered it at 3:00 a.m. to your dorm in Akers back in 1995.
This is an irresponsible Blog post with only about 45% accurate information. Nonetheless, I’ll touch on three things…
As I write this (March 20th, 2020), we’re about 8-days into the quarantine work-from-home era. Actually, it’s day-6 (in Michigan). I say this because last Friday I spent the entire day in the office, and so did all my co-workers. On Sunday night (March 15th), I decided I should stay home “for a day or two” and my amazing bosses agreed, and by Monday evening, my company ordered everyone to stay home if they had any “non-essential” roles that could only be done in the building.
Point being …not even a week ago, I didn’t have some of these words and phrases in my vocabulary and I’d never thought of how to survive a pandemic. Now? I’m an expert and the following, exhaustive lists come from posting a few things on Facebook and collecting all the comments as pure fact. Print this out and put it on your fridge.
The next phenomenon, and I’m amused by it, is wordplay around “quarantine” and I wonder how many of these will be in Webster’s Dictionary by the end of 2020?
Prevention Tips from Old Wives
My favorite remedies and health-tips are always those that come via “old wives”. If you’re young and aren’t familiar with an “old-wives tale”, it’s…
Old wives’ tale – DescriptionAn old wives’ tale is a supposed truth which is actually spurious or a superstition. It can be said sometimes to be a type of urban legend, said to be passed down by older women to a younger generation. Such tales are considered superstition, folklore or unverified claims with exaggerated and/or inaccurate details.