2023 Kowalewski Christmas Letter

The Fifth Kowalewski Christmas Card Letter

The Kowalewski Family Christmas is celebrating its 5-Year Anniversary and what started as a little prank on my family has become a major production. Back in the letter’s first year, I (Don) wrote the original letter, secretly, and snuck it into the annual family Christmas card, and it was all fun. Now, the letter is an all-family, multi-step, and fully-inclusive effort. First, I spend a week at a remote location writing the first-draft. I compare the new letter to previous year’s letters. Then, the entire family comes together and Don reads the letter out loud. The family takes notes. I leave the room. The family deliberates and compares notes, invites Don back into the room and then give him direction on what can remain in the letter and what must be cut or rewritten.

It’s stressful. It’s demanding. It involves yelling and shouting and slamming doors and storming out of rooms, which I assume is normal for anyone writing a Christmas Card Letter, but as you read the 2,000 words that follow, I think it’s worth it and you hold in your hand the best-Kowalewski-Christmas- letter-EVER!

***Full Disclosure: I used a liberal amount of AI (Artificial Intelligence) to write this. It’s 2023. Why wouldn’t I? For those of you over 60 years of age, AI is the thing you’re scared of and will lead to robots enslaving humans. For those under 30, AI is what does your homework and writes your term papers. For me? It’s fascinating and I personally want to wish the merriest of Christmasses to my future robot overlords.

AI Prompt #1: write a 5,000 word christmas letter about a family of 5 where the dad is a successful salesman, the mother is a teacher, the 20 year old daughter is a college student, the 19 year old son is a pre-med student, and the 17-year-old daughter is top of her class and everything is amazing always
AI’s Response #1: “nobody wants to read a 5,000 word Christmas Card Letter …how about 2,000 words?

See? AI is smarter than I am. And let’s get started with the DI (Don Intelligence) stuff.

Jimmy graduated Brother Rice as Salutatorian and is a pre-med Freshman at Michigan State living in Holmes Hall. At the (re)writing of this Christmas Card letter, he passed all his first-semester classes and seems to have enjoyed his classes, the semester, and will be going back after Christmas. During this fall semester, we were lucky that long-time friends, Alan and Amy, have a son in the MSU Marching Band and Amy and Alan love tailgate as much as we do (maybe it’s just Don and Alan). So we tailgated for every home football game and saw Jimmy (and Marylin) pretty much every weekend (LOVED IT). For the next three years if you find yourself on campus for a football game, we’re at Adams Field (just south of Yakely Hall) and you should stop by.

AI Prompt #2: what should you include in a Christmas Card Letter to make it better than everyone else’s Christmas Card Letter
AI Response #2: you shouldn’t compare your letter to others, but if you must, make sure to list people by name

Notice I mentioned tailgating on football Saturdays but didn’t mention the football team or football games. Ahem. Here’s hoping next year I can say something nice about MSU football, again.

Marylin is in her third year at MSU as a Human Development & Family Studies Major. As mentioned in past letters, she knows exactly what she wants to do after college and it’s inspiring to see her work so hard toward that goal. She’s doing a double Minor and it’s hard to believe she’s officially an upperclassman, pursuing internships and fellowships, and starting to talk about what life will look like after college. When she’s not studying, doing the sorority thing, and hanging out with her boyfriend, she’s working at a daycare. I’ll say it again, she’s one of the hardest working kids you’ll ever meet.

Ada is a high-school Junior and the college-decision-making process has begun. Her college plans seem to be “get as far away from Mom & Dad as possible” so that took us on tours of Clemson and University of Georgia, which also meant a weekend with Chad, Dawn, and Katie in Atlanta. I liked that part and if Ada goes to Georgia, maybe I’ll see the Bentons more often. But I did not like how far away her college choices are, which means I really have to step-up my Jedi-mind-tricking and convince her, please, stay in Michigan. Ada plays Field Hockey in the fall, Lacrosse is her spring sport, and she’s working very hard at school, work, two sports, multiple clubs and Class Secretary.

Kathy is in her third year at St. Regis Catholic School teaching middle-school math. Plus she’s tutoring, volunteers at Marian, and probably does a half-dozen other extracurricular things that I don’t notice, but I should, and she makes the world a little better place.

Don is still at iHeartMedia and is just going to use what AI wrote on his behalf . . . at the helm of our family is our Dad (me), whose unwavering dedication to his work as a successful salesman has continued to inspire us all. His commitment, resilience, and passion for what he does have been a guiding light, not just in his professional endeavors but also in fostering unity and strength within our family.

Who says AI isn’t amazing!?!?!?!

The year was mostly uneventful except for one thing. Well, a couple hundred things. As in, a couple hundred flaming pumpkin seeds. More on that in a minute.

The annual traditions continued. Don spent a long weekend in March in northern Michigan with old frat bros (Ben, Krik, Pete, Nolta, Dave K, Goodman, Grant, Kwass, Schneider, Word, and Chevy). The whole family did the Post-Easter spring break in Siesta Key, which was also Jimmy’s senior spring break with his high-school friends. Siesta Key is one of our favorite places and this year, in addition to the Dawsons (who also love Siesta Key), Dave & Melissa, the Rooks, the McGraths, and Capitanis also joined us. I think a great vacation spot is even better when more of my friends are there. Late summer, it was another week at Torch Lake with the Dave-Melissa -Lauren-and- Spencer Kowalewski family (20+ years!!!). The long Memorial Day and Labor Day weekends were spent at Canadian Lakes with Grandpa Jimmy, and Fourth of July was spent in North Port with super-hosts Wally, Karen, and Jack. And the final adventure was mine, again. I spent a long weekend in Peoria at the Bair household as this year, unbelievably, marks the five year anniversary of my friend Matt Bair’s sudden passing. If you recall my very first Christmas Card Letter, I mentioned that his death inspired me to stop saying “I’ll do this someday” or “I’ll do that someday” and to start making my “somedays” become “todays.” And so I wrote that letter and still do. Peoria brought together another group of fraternity brothers (Adamec, Ben, Goodman, Drew, Weldon, and Hoyt) and we ran in the annual 5K held in Matt’s honor (we dressed as Star Trek characters as a tribute to Matt ..and because women love a man in uniform). It was bittersweet, but a good reminder (especially with the story you’re about to read) to count my blessings and realize things could be worse. And don’t put off for tomorrow what you can do today. Jen and her daughters Riley, Reese, and Paige were amazing hosts and are all incredibly inspiring to me. What I loved most, amid all the confusion and bourbon and running, was how I felt like, at any moment, Matt was going to walk into the room and sit down like he never left us. It’s beautiful to feel his spirit in the room.

Speaking of that …can’t forget Thanksgiving. Our 5th year hosting (maybe 4th …lost count with the COVID year or years) and Kathy and I are really getting our systems down. Like my weekend in Peoria, there are at least a half dozen people not at Thanksgiving that we feel are there in spirit. It can feel like those we’ve lost are with us. Thanksgiving was a success and, even without a functioning oven, the entire day went off without a hitch. Why no “functioning oven”, you ask?

Well, what might define 2023, and a story I’ll be able to tell for years (unless Kathy would rather I not ever mention it again) …the kitchen fire. 2022 was “Don’s Car Accident”. And now 2023 is “Don’s Kitchen Fire”. Which means my 2024 New Year’s Resolution will be this – no more Don stories and I hope to be able to write that it’s been 402 days since Don did something nearly catastrophic. I like to bake pumpkin seeds throughout the Halloween season. Have for years. I am son of William, Pumpkin Seed Baker. And so when my daughter made pumpkin seeds this year, it warmed my heart. But when I saw her pumpkin seeds, I felt like they weren’t quite done enough, so I put them back into the oven on the broil setting to finish them and boy oh boy, did I finish them. Turns out they were already pretty dried out and, if you’ve ever thrown peanut shells into a campfire, shells are highly flammable. I know that, now. In just a few minutes, smoke was billowing out of the oven. I opened the oven revealing what looked like the coal engine from a cartoon train. I grabbed the tray of flaming pumpkin seeds, threw them on the floor, smothered the flames with a towel, and then stomped on the flaming seeds that had flown off the cookie sheet like they were cigarettes, snuffing their flames with my shoe, giving my hardwood floors the look of leopard print.

So what has 2023 taught me? First, know where your fire extinguishers are and know how to use them (and maybe buy a Fire Blanket). Second, on this 5th anniversary of Matt’s sudden passing, get back to, and remember the lessons of …M.A.T.T. (if you don’t know what that is, go to bit.ly/MATTBair and make it part of your 2024). And lastly, things are always changing. Learn to be OK with that. My family is changing because Marylin and Jimmy are away from me more often than they’re home with me. And soon, Ada will be gone more than she’s here, too. So I’m going to make sure I stop, look around, and enjoy being around the people I love when I’m around them. Hug a little longer and tighter. Listen more than I talk. And laugh as hard as I can.

2023 set my heart and mind on fire (and a batch of pumpkin seeds). Here’s hoping you had a wonderful 2023 and are fired up for 2024.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Love,
The Kowalewski Family

p.s. If you want to read the entire AI generated letter, go to https://bit.ly/2023AIChristmasCardLetter …it’s amazing!