How Not to be Bald

Full Disclosure:  I know baldness is 100% hereditary. But it doesn’t mean I can’t “flat Earther” hair loss and tell you what I think is a remedy for keeping your hair.

I’m vain. About some things. I’m short. But that’s never bothered me. I’m a little overweight and have a kickin’ Dad Bod, but I’m OK with that. I know about fashion, but for the most part my wardrobe is such that it embarrasses my kids. However, my hair …having it and keeping it …it’s something I think about often. If there’s an article or an X(Tweet) about hair and scalp health, I’m reading it.

I’m 51 and still have about 80% of the hair I had when I was 25, and I mistakenly believe I’m 50% responsible for that (the other 50% is genes, which I’ve covered above in my disclaimer and I know genetics, again, is 100% why a man is bald or isn’t bald).

With that said, here’s my fool-proof routines and products that ensure a man keeps his hair. The research was conducted on a test-group of one (me) and there is no control group. Science!

High Quality Shampoo & Conditioner:  I have my preferred brand … aussie Miracle Volume Shampoo and Conditioner. This might not even be “high quality” but it’s gentle. I accidentally discovered this as a hand-me-down from my daughters. My daughters try all sorts of products based on TikTok and aussie products, for them, didn’t make their hair feel clean. But for me … short hair … I can use the tiniest amount, about the size of a chocolate chip, and it will suds up my entire head. It’s amazing. Like space-age. So a bottle can last me an entire year. Lots of online reviews for aussie also say it clears up dandruff, controls sebum, and people feel like their hair is stronger and thicker. I noticed immediately. aussie brags about their jojoba and Vitamin E and it’s a notable difference from many other shampoos I’ve used. My #1 choice would actually be Aveda’s invati ultra advanced™ exfoliating shampoo and conditioner, but it’s four times the cost. It’s really, really good. It’s vegan. Limits chemicals. If you feel like splurging, go with Aveda.

Shampoo and Condition Quickly, Rinse Quickly, and Don’t Use Your Fingers or Nails:  You aren’t soaking dishes in the sink. If you follow all my tips, you won’t have a build-up of product in your hair, so you’ll want to shampoo quickly and then rinse immediately. Same with the conditioner. All shampoos and conditioners have some chemicals in them so don’t leave them sitting on your head and soaking into your scalp and follicles. And using my scrubbing-cleaning a pot/pan theory, don’t use your fingernails to “scrub and scour” your scalp and I don’t even use my fingers to massage and work the shampoo deep into the hair and scalp. I use my flat palms. Try it. You’ll see. The shampoo still gets to every follicle and your entire head. You’ll see.

Dry Your Hair by Scrunch (and not vigorous towel drying):  I picked up this tip from my daughters, who actually use a t-shirt and they gently scrunch their hair and they never use a towel and violently and vigorously dry their hair like they’re drying dishes. I don’t have a hair-drying-t-shirt, but I do pat and scrunch my hair as if any towel movement would rip hair right out of my head. Very gentle.

No Combs or Brushes:  After your shower and towel-scrunching, never use a comb or brush. Use your fingers like a comb, but very gently. Treat your hair like it’s clay and you’re moving it into place.

Never Use a Hair Dryer:  Figuring for most dudes, this isn’t even a tip I have to give. In fact, I’m not sure why my wife and daughters use a hair dryer. All that heat …ugh. Makes my hair feel dry and brittle just thinking about it.

Don’t Use Gel, Mousse, Pomade, or Clay:  Just don’t. First, there’s so many chemicals. Second, if you put this in, you gotta wash it out which may mean overwashing and stressing your hair.

Style With a Tiny, Tiny Amount of Hair Oil or Conditioner:  Remember, you’ve used your fingers like a comb to move your hair into the style you want (most of us just part on the side). The styling gel, or pomade or whatever you use, is mostly to control the frizz. Maybe if you’re under 30 and have hair like The Daily Show’s Michael Kosta or you’re over 50 and somehow have hair like Joe Scarborough, you can do whatever you want, but most of us simply trying to protect the hair we have left …so just control the frizz. There’s many, many hair oils out there but I’ve been using Argan Hair Oil. It has argan hair oil and vitamin E oil. IMPORTANT:  Use it sparingly. I use the finger-tip method. I put a tiny drop on the tip of each finger on my right hand. Then I touch the fingertips of my right hand to the fingertips of my left hand and then gently use my fingertips to “style” my hair, starting where my hair meets my forehead. I might repeat the drop-of-oil on the fingertips and do this on the crown of my head. Only enough hair oil to knock down the frizz. We all know that in a few hours our natural scalp oil will handle the rest.

Additional Routine:  At night, right before bed, I use straight Vitamin E oil on my hairline. One drop on each of my fingertips. Rub fingertipsentire together. Then massage into my hair line.

One More Thing:  When I apply my facial moisturizer in the morning I push up on my forehead and make sure the moisturizer goes right into my hairline.

Wear Baseball Caps No More Than Once a Week:  Again, I know it’s genetics, but have you ever taken a baseball cap off your head after a entire day and your hair hurts? I know this can’t be good. So I avoid baseball caps as much as possible. Only wear them if it’s a fashion statement or gameday. And I take steps to make sure the hat is pulled low and is touching my forehead only and not touching my hairline (where my hair meets my forehead …that’s the exact spot on my head I want to protect).

Maybe you’ve never thought this much about your hair or the products you use, or the systems that are part of your routine, but I’m vain and very insecure when it comes to my hair. As you can see, I’ve thought about it a lot. Too much. That’s OK. I think we all have those things we overthink, and this has been my obsession since my late 20s when I noticed a freckle on my forehead that was previously hidden by hair. So I use that freckle as my marker of success or failure. So far. That freckle is exactly where it was when it first revealed itself around age 30.

Hairs to a happy and healthy you and me.