Blogging About My Journaling (Sometimes a C+ Effort Produces A+ Results)

Social media and the Internet has produced, what I call, “Guru World.” Everyone’s an expert. Everyone has it figured out. Everyone is perfect, disciplined, has routines, and has 100% success rates.

No they don’t. And I certainly don’t. And that’s OK.

What is better? Running 3-miles a day, eating only lean healthy food, meditating daily, and never putting white sugar in your mouth and telling everyone you’ve lived this lifestyle since 2003? Or, taking a brisk, long walk four times a week, doing some sit-ups and push-ups and planks a couple nights a week when watching TV when you remember and feel motivated, and flossing 3 or 4 times a week? Or never doing any of the above and sitting on the couch every night watching TV? If you believe “Guru World”, it’s all or nothing. Only that 3-mile-a-day runner is doing it right. “Guru World” makes you think walking-sit-up person and do-nothing-couch-potato person are the same.

But I don’t agree and my recent “journal project” is teaching me (a) something is better than (b) nothing.

Since college, I’ve been keeping journals. Not consistently, but on and off as the mood hit me. Usually at the start of the year, at the start of Lent, and at some major life event. My “journaling” is like most people’s diets or hobbies. I would sprint. Then stop. Then sprint. Then stop.

Part of me looks back at these 30 years of journaling and thinks I failed. And yet, that I journaled at all, and some of my journal entries are good, or mark milestones, or can immediately transport me back to a day and time …well, that makes me feel pretty accomplished.

I have 17 journals in all. The journals you see in the picture above are eclectic, random, and lack any consistency. Only 3 of the 17 are full from beginning to end. Some are 50% full? Some just 25%. And some of the entries are brilliant, perfect journal entries, like when I wrote about my first-born at her first Christmas, or when I journaled about that same daughter, at the age of three, making me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich …a sandwich that was pretty terrible, but because my 3-year-old made it and was so proud, it was the best PB&J I’ve ever had.

Here, I took a moment at my first-born’s first-Christmas to jot down a few notes. It’s not much, but memories are fleeting. They get cloudy. The blend together. Or they disappear completely. This little blurb tells me exactly what was happening.

And this one …

Or how about a quick note to myself about my son and daughter right after the birth of my third child …

My “journal project” is me going through all my journals. I’ll rip out pages that have good stuff on them (and make a new journal out of those pages), and throw away the pages that are just a list or the plumber’s phone number. But I also have many great quotes I liked and wanted to remember. I have some of the sketch ideas I wrote from when I tried sketch and improv comedy. I have my entire stand-up routine from my first performance. I have a movie concept that, ya know, could be something.

Something is better than nothing

Don’t be down on yourself if you’re not perfect. Don’t self-talk yourself into believing you’re a loser because you’ve started and stopped so many times …and I don’t just mean journaling. I mean exercise, excellence in your career, networking, calling people and telling them you love them, learning to cook, or parenting. 

Start now. And if you mess up or lose focus? Start again. Don’t compare yourself to others, especially in this social media world where the only thing we see is perfection. Perfectly prepared food. Perfect pictures of perfect faces. 

Don’t strive for perfection. You’ll never get there. Strive for doing something. And doing something …doing anything …that’ll mean more than doing nothing.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to smile and remember the greatest-worst peanut-butter and jelly sandwich I ever had.